For the first time, I really think about her
Can not be tamed
I was reminded of the message one of the teachers who taught me to live "DIG A WELL BEFORE YOU Become Thirsty". The figure was as though made me think back to the spirit of love. Smile is the shortest distance between two people
a week later.....
This is my first time departure; my feet back to Indonesia after two years I left it all to pursue my dreams and my proud, later. I left everything, including her. She's all I care about. The figure that I knew from childhood to our adult, I understand exactly how he is. I'm glad I fell in love with my best friend.
No one I tell about my arrival, including him. At first I was chased into a hotel where he was at work and complete the final task of the campus. I sat there a long time while enjoying a menu that has become my favorite, I love this place, I like everything that is served by this restaurant. The building is ancient, but still very majestic pompous and sturdy with reclaimed here and there. What a turmoil my heart to imagine how happy I am to be met. My heart was racing faster, my blood flowing, cold sweat stain my skin. It is remarkable. Here I met someone I had known a long time; he was one employee class hotel manager. He greeted me, asking how I was doing. Friendly greeting, so that makes me happy to answer all questions. From him I also knew that she was looking not at work. Off today, so he says. Do not want to think the term; I will immediately leave the hotel restaurant with in between two pieces that have been there hundreds of bills in the bill. One waiter called me to return my money, "Take it!" I said that made him happy to receive some tips from me. Because I did not bring a car, I finally decided to stop at a café. Here I choose star buck. My heart has chosen this place. Somehow, I feel like living here may be as many memories with her here. I still order the same menu as before the time with him. Only I did not dare to occupy the table we used both messages. I though the current bench was empty. I tried to calm myself in this place, but this is not very helpful. My thoughts drift away while still in his presence. She was living in my mind even though I've tried to kill him in a dream. I'm sorry for being a coward. I don’t know what the true meaning of love, but to me love is a flood of feelings toward an object that has impulses and stimuli in the act which resulted in a means of energy and triggers my mind to do a form of expression to him. Still imprinted in my brain, how he asked me to talk, the way he was watching me, how he tried to hide his heart for me. How silly of me to be a passive person waiting for her explain to me first. I tried to building good mood for myself before I met her later. I tried to call she’s home, but I did not hear his voice. Only voice of a woman who used to call her mother, said her daughter was there At Shangri-La interview purposes. I received the news be some weeks ago via email, he did say to me if he got a job offer in the hotel, but the offer was a personal fall. So how could she still continue the interview? There’s nothing I can’t do, but ponder and think for a moment. I tried to breathe in deep, and play stirred well a glass full caramel macchiato. I saw an empty table was 22. We used to always sit over the kitchen that often. I don’t know why but I think maybe because he prefers her view. I still remember how to smile, the way she talked; I smell the distinctive aroma of her hair. When the moment that, can make me growing into a man who knows about love. She can make me understands even though I'm a man who can not talk much, I'm not a friendly person, I'm not much of a friend I do not like to socialize. I introvert, only he who understands me but my friend Rizal. And suddenly I remember when I first ventured to take her home from school, and even then by accident. Really makes me ashamed, remembering everything. I chuckled to myself only can taste is this how men fall in love with a woman. Is this the taste of love that always makes me upset when see him. It is remarkable. Fissuring say hello she smiles softly. She too greeted me back, his smile is so sweet. Indigenous girls are impressive. I almost wanted to leave, but it was big enough to push me along with it. I’m determination my resolve to drive her home, with a shames, she say yes too. So I riding my bicycle, then I hitch hike her in front, hot sun can not shake my soul to be with him. Throughout the trip we stopped, no one dared to speak, so do I. I just smile if she smiles, my heart was pounding, I could barely think straight. Since then we have not seen a long time, until one day when we meet in a museum Empu Tantular, accidentally. We met in front of a gallery of pre-history of the Indonesian currency and history. From the beginning in fact I've noticed he is not being aware of the existence. she was alone so do I, I'm thankful at the time. Steady bit by bit steps to say hello, I noticed she was so shocked that something like nervous and kind. I'm glad to see his reaction about me, it feels like to hug. It's just that it's not me; we sat and chatted while watching a collection of galleries throughout the room. Long times we’re not cheat each other then, who knows how many years. But she grew older, more beautiful and friendlier. Fantasies that time, he is beloved. Unfortunately that’s only chanting song of the heart that form of love. I felt ashamed to look at her piercing eyes behind blue spectacles. My heart vibrates like strings, my heart was pounding, but I'm lucky my hands are not as cold as her hand when shaking hand. I asked God to myself, why I came back to see her, but my resolve was made to not fall in love with any woman before I was successful with my dreams. If only I have a mama who I can talk share, if I had a sister whom I used to argue. I do not have that figure. I was a long silence as she sat beside her. I could barely concentrate; her voice makes me nervous, I'm afraid of my heart roaring sound in her ears. Almost self-esteem is gone then. I do not want to surrender to any woman, not even her. "I'm glad to see you" she said at the time. Completely honest, it was easy for her, and why I was so hard to express it. "What if we look for lunch and a nice place to chat?" I pleaded with the confidence that is not entirely true, she accepted with a nod. It is remarkable that the result of nod. I almost swerved when standing and walking, such as cotton in the wind. We got out of the museum to where my bike was left off. Tiger is always faithful to keep me company while I'm sitting in high school. I'm glad he walked ahead of me, so I had a chance of breathing air, but can not close our eyes to see her walking, see her hair blowing in the wind and whipping my face. Her hair seemed to be talking "why did you wimp!" I just shut up without answering. When I sit on my motor cycle "went up!" I said almost inaudibly soft. But his ear is sharp enough that the thought scares me talking to myself. Really make me smile full of hope if he loves me. I drove my bike as fast as possible, so she hugged back. How embarrassing to me, hope it is not possible she did. She was so polite, so very impressed, looks simple but it fascinated me. Her black hair is a crown that would make me most to its knees. He still did not move his hands to my hips. She was just holding back of the bike strong metal pad. I smiled at the mirror, clearly visible her expression about me. My heart asked if her already has a boyfriend, whether she herself, if she loves someone else, whether she is also like me, do not want to deal in love. Strong’s to curiosity. We’re arrived at a junk food restaurant in the heart of the city plaza. We just order some burger and French fries with a soft drink French added a spoonful of ice cream by it. It's different, what difference to make she can threw me. Is it because these beverages, or because my heart linked to heart. Is that fast? I thought surely not. I took her home for the second time since I drove her home from school a few years ago with the bike federal. Arriving in front of the house, she told me to stop but I declined her invitation but I have promised that next time I will visit it. She looks so sad full of sorry when I see her face I do not know how to comfort her. My initiative when it is issued a cream-colored piece of paper that I wrote with the boxy blue "if allowed I want to know your email, your phone number or anything what can make us talk." without gave a smile, but she accepted and gave me a beautiful smile when she saw my eyes locked to read, the magic of what she gave me that made me almost unable to move just sit in the motor. I'm undecided about waiting until she says something, not long unanswered my waiting process "5462470" that the motion of her lips without a sound. "Thanks!" Then I left her, the memory much alive inside my head. Probably until I’m going to die. So aware of my thoughts I will again enjoy the dishes that have been ordered while I opened my journal reopen. I wiped clean row of the sentence passed on up to five pages. I still feel you can not to concern, after she came I stepped on the town. Did not realize I'd spent an hour sitting on my past memories. Everyone is always passing by I noticed that I observed. Until my eyes locked on someone who has seat on the table. A smile broke on my face start; see that it seemed like a drug that can relieve shortness of breath. My heart is ticking fast, it feels reluctant if I should first say hello, but my heart continued to flare up because my glued. Do something about my heart. But my body still stunned, my mouth locked stiff tongue. My blood flowed profusely, felt my muscles twitched. But I decided for the time-I just watched.
He's an attractive long-haired black, her hair long; her blazer removed and hung on the back seat. There is a novel next to his left. Orders come with one and two cups of coffee cake, is she waiting for someone? Really I do not know, there she was pensive and occasionally glanced at his watch. Occasionally glanced out the window, and occasionally he saw see the entrance to the restaurant. More my heart said to wonder if she was waiting for someone? But who is the lucky guy? My mind is not known, my feelings became mixed up. I was dating wanted to say hello. I'd love to have a chance to see her. But -, I revert all; I do not want to disrupt it. Does not he know me? Maybe she forgot! Or even she was no longer – ahh… never mind it's not my goal, I'm dating just to say something on my girl. Not the other.
Two hours had she pensive there, such as thinking of something that is not obvious, I think I want to ask - about the subject what had made her apprehensive. But it is not possible, maybe she had not seen; of course I would be labeled rude when asked. There is a thick book in front of her now touched, then she turned down a piece of the next few pages. I smiled at him, almost I really want to go over and patted his shoulder and said D-HALO!. No ... of course not, I reverting my own. I turned my steps when I was almost alone through it. I asked myself is why I wash my face staring at the inside of me in the mirror. Hand punching a wall instead of the existing glass in front of me, I wanted to scream but my voice would not come out. You still around me crazy! Every time I see her my heart feels like to jump. Just imagine it is driving me crazy. I'm confused what should I do, I'm not the one who could express anything. Hufftt-heavy breath well done I need to talk with her! Must be! I slammed the door of the toilet, luckily the roof does not collapse, and luckily the door was not broken when knock her down. I make sure my feet to greet her, step by step walking, blood rushing, and heart pounding; now I'll get to impress her by surprise. But unfortunately I'm actually surprised and sorry, what did not when I meet someone who wants it gone from her table, only her meals rest are still on the table. Still cold glass condenses; the cake was a message that he was still there two pieces, why he did not spend it. I will soon leave this place; go home to my family who was waiting for me. A taxi ready to take me home, but I do not want to hurry’s home. Although, my father and aunty also to call me. Real sad if I have to lie to them, even more so when they believe lies. Taxis transport me in a place that the museum was closed almost alone. I'm coming up just remembering all that has ever happened. I just sit in a room. Silent and still once in a while I smile with a collection of objects on display Antic. I'm back roads around the area until I decided to leave the museum after museum guard’s said to everyone that this place opened it was over hours to days. Then with her manners, she walked off after successfully kicked gently with her expertise language. My phone rang again. He was my brother who was about to pick me up, I can not lie to him, only he that is difficult for me lied. I reluctantly agreed for him to pick me up. My taxi that has faithfully waiting was asked to leave. I'm still standing on the sidewalk watching the Sura and the crocodile statue as if it had been fought in the pose they scratch and bite each other. Fortunately I’m not bring too much to luggage, even though Indonesia is very much Japanese. This time it seemed to me the flight back to life from nothing. The sound of car horns, I know this car, of course, because it my Volvo. "So fast you're coming up" I say, when one of the open car window. "Brother went up; I was among you to see her. Before you die depends stiff! "Laughter like a giant chuckled. I just smiled without offense. I know him, and that's how she longed to comfort me when I was that girl. My little brother out of the car, and helped me put things back to garage all my stuff. Then we hugged each other because of homesickness. Since two years ago we had never met. His body was more muscular, his style grew older, his style is still just like a Slankers. But I love him even though I hated her mother. "You wait a long time," she said "no - already! I'll drive "I said when he will sit behind the steering wheel.”OK!" He said. This car, I still feel comfortable in this car, my brother seems to really hear what I said. "Thanks - you have to take care!" I said simply and he just smiled and pat my shoulder, trying to bother me while driving. I’ll driving accidentally my car quickly, this city really made life very alive. I continued to smile while walking the streets that we have always passed. "You have not like crazy right, during her apart!" Punching his arm, and I winced only – shaking his head then smiled. We also then laughed. I’m really… really missing it. "Damn it! It turns out you really love him! "She continued, glancing at me. Only I turned and smiled. "Take you home!" I replied and he too seemed to understand what I mean, so she just nodded "Do not forget to stop sold out, bought her a bouquet of flowers!" He said. I almost forgot about that one. "Yahhh..!" I said "now you're here, so you must fell down, and sending my compliments for papa, I'm sorry to hurry up". My brother out of the car carrying two suitcase and left into the house. I’m driving so fast car, the rearview mirror I saw was, and Daddy was call me, as well as aunt, but they seem to understand when Yogi identifies them something about me. Only smoke that left to their cars.
Chest back when I had churned up the fence in front of his house. The house is quiet; if the fence is to talk to once I asked if my girl had a lover! I dared to ring the bell, and then pushing fence with hinges attached to the fence. The host is not heard, perhaps because the music is too loud voice. I was silent for a moment; I heard his voice vague imitation of the song playing. Bon jovi - it's his favorite rock band; I decided to look for my cell phone behind my coat-punched a few keys points to connect. I continued for a long time the tone is raised, I have to wait for her. Maybe they are busy; knowing only three in the afternoon if I can remember is his duty to clean the house. My dial-up re-numbering, the tone continued to be heard outside the house where I was standing in front of the fence. But still not there someone lifted my phone, wait patiently through life with me also dial up to push back a third time, until the sound of halo-and I can do is be quiet and silent for a moment that I realized it was his voice. Sounded tired and panting for breath, relaxes me said to myself, my tongue was still stiff to say - until I decided
"Hello ... D, Very noisy house "I said flatly - although it is enough to make surprise
"Heii… Hyo. how are you?"
"Surprise ... surprise ... you smell so bad you seem so busy?"
"Yah…. right, knowing it would clean the floor was too sweaty '
"no problem. That’s making you healthy. I'm also tired of the long journey! "Spontaneity, I could stand it no longer about my existence condition
I just chuckled, but he too smiled
"D ... what can you see me now?"
"Well if you go to Indonesia I will be with you, when are you going to come here"
"Ahhh .....? Surprise…. surprise!! You wearing T-shirt, Of course"
"Yeah right ... so right your gut!"
At that time I laughed like a straightforward sentence without sin. I don’t know whether I should be sad or happy until the last second when he was aware of my existence has not been close enough
"Hyo ….just a second please ... there are people outside my house, I just do not know why he's looking for who did not seeing face towards the house?"
"Oh yes, could not you notice it more closely?" I said hopefully, I feeling began to pound his view the latest after two years ago I left
"I do not know, I do not know, maybe the next guest house!"
"Really…?" I said "met only briefly, I will patiently wait for you here!"
"for what?"
"Well of course to see it?"
"I'm lazy; if he needs he'll ring the bell house"
I chuckled only to see this silliness, I'm nervous about spoiling the prayer that I look calm. God please help your servant begged softly to her self. Once again I pushed the bell so he came out to see his guests. I brought the roses I hid behind my back, I do not want this flower before getting his hand broken. I rested on my shoulder behind the side wall for a moment, closed my eyes briefly Bismillah. Ears pinned back to my cell phone
"OK, that man you told me looks like already rang your house?"
"How can you hear Hyo, while the sound is too very louder Bonjovi in my ears?"
"Well of course due to very low levels your sensitively D. open the door there. He could be dead tired from waiting for the host opens the gate "
"Well, you wait a minute ... I'll see it. Or maybe you could let me hang telphonemu not spend a lot of credit cell phone "
"Ahhh no problem, go ... go see that your guest"
"What you do not what?"
"No, get out. I'll wait for you "
"Good!"
I'm sorry I snapped at him but I was also annoyed to see that do not open the door for me. Come… come to me dear. The more my heart was beating, it could no longer help it think it is already crazy to burn my motion. Increasing levels of love continues to grow. You're so beautiful I whisper to myself could scarcely believe it, he is now walking slowly towards me, her cheeks slightly flushed. I also do not believe this is real, is this dream? Of course not, because I felt great weariness to wait for these moments. Lord helps me live longer with more thought. Now the pace is getting closer even hand movement is increasingly hurried hurry to open the bolt fence for me. We were quiet for a rigid, I step forward three legs to hold her without hesitation. Now I have merged together, kissed her hair, held her hand tightly, as if my brain like a stiffened body would not let go of my arms. Long…. long time to realize we hugged, I really miss him. Now she's trying to let go from my hugs, an upright I let my hand slowly, because I did not want to die out of breath. He was pleased to receive a bouquet of flowers, but she was angry when she saw a sudden arrived without news. I'm sorry to see it, he asked me to go and see her and talk to me for a moment. Before finally leaving me alone in the living room, my eyes are spread observed every wall, paint the walls now are no longer green and white, the walls are several paintings and new calligraphy, to design the room are all still the same as before I left two years ago. I studied a long novel that seemed to belong to Marga T had just bought and have not had time to read it thoroughly, but I'm sure, without reading plot that he had started an anti climax to climax on every cast. All I know, Karmila is his favorite novel. I touch behind every page, to be honest I was not too happy with this story, I fell full of sadness to Edo, the good man must have inner torment as her fiancé had been seized by force by a crook. My hands are clenched suddenly, a moment later I realized myself that this is just a story; my story is not the real story. Of course I do not want to have something stupid like Edo. Now he's back to see me holding a cold drink. When can I tell if the drink is not as fresh as a person?
"Nice, novel?" I showed her this novel. Then she just nodded "drink!" He said. "Necessarily" just according to what she said. We were silent for some time without being able to chat begins, don’t know the same as what we feel, I do not believe the same, I saw my nervous and luckily even nervous but I can still calm, I just think it's not funny when I was a man who is nervous and silly when met idol. It's the silly things that do not want to do. "I lived for a while, yes, I want a bath! Read it if you want to read it. DOCTOR Karmila also can you possibly fit in? "He said that it was as though I was busy convincing novel if the content is good.”Well I know, I've read it, I do not want to Edo, he just fiancé alone, not a husband like Faizal". "Well his name is also a novel!" He replied deep breathing little by little breath left to climb the stairs. I enjoy just gone, only this time if I have to wait impatiently for yesterday. I hate to read this novel, it's just my eyes rebelled when there is a book or newspaper is not read. I’m feeling like crazy, I can only hope everything is still the same and no change at all so I do not need to forces my will that he return her to feel comfortable with me. I was tired, maybe because of this trip, but luckily I did not make the long journey across the continent so it does not make me too tired too prolonged. Just get these straight legs under the table, ohh… really is very creating exceptional comfort without realizing until I was waiting for an hour. I don’t know how much be longer I have to wait for him, she was right to train or even with the extra drain on my patience until I heard footsteps coming towards me with a confident step times. "Hi!" She broke the silence of the room, "long wait sorry, I thought you had gone home for too long". How graceful he ran down the stairs, I liked the clothes he was wearing, the color I like, whether he deliberately wore that color for me? I noticed a long time, I feel better now that she can look like a girl grow up with her mind before I ever knew, without think the term I will take her out to dinner, since we are closer that night. I often feel my life is more alive. During his stay in Japan I was very monotonous, from day to day activities associated with the books only campus. Actually you liked the previous my activities, but it was my new activities with more excite. I often take her or pick her up at work, at whatever she got home I always pick her up and she went to work whatever hours I will leave him. Actually in my heart when I wanted to ask her out, because that's my goal before. That is my agenda because I was dating came here to cheer. And I will always believe in doing whatever he always made me love him, whatever he does always look beautiful and good in my eyes. My arrival here, start again with my old memory to make up her motion, we had the idea to trail in some places we've ever been. I agree with the idea, but I own a great idea anymore than the only trail, so I chose the month of December as our fatherly time before I leave again. So all the agenda for a month I was stacking, ranging from transportation, hotel, financial, and build stronger mentally for it to run perfectly all flawless.
Day to day with her is always interesting for me, none could refuse his request, and lucky no one ever my invitation and she refused. I realize now more powerful charm stimulates adrenaline, he is more active, cheerful and attractive very unusual addition to my eyes. Many people are around her that I watched and realized if some of them are my rival. But I'm sure I'm still ahead. I was silent, but I never for not observing it all. Because all that attached to it makes me really mad and crazy. How I'm not crazy, if I had to leave Keio University for a while just to see him leave, it's a new thing to think about it over and over again and it's got heavy consequence because next semester I should stay the same on my semester. I have to work hard to catch the eye of college, I would not laugh at me if deceased mother when I failed with a doctor just because of women. I really do not want to. Because of this consideration I return set a new agenda with him, I will start contacting some old friends who would let me singing at a place like hotel, restaurant or plaza that showing live piano music. I do not want to fell my empty pocket no additional contents a few bills. And lucky me, they let me go back fatherly singing again. So I have a reasonable income to realize my mission with him. My last hope is that he's not that I reject the proposed vacation agenda. My feeling about loved her almost never goes off even though it had before it illness. I don’t know why I do this. Often when we talked together, he said that I was a lucky person, whatever I want I can always receive and when I was dizzy because of my doing alone that made my brain dizzy. Really? I myself doubt that during this time, probably still on my side goddess Fortuna. Sector in the night when we sit back to enjoy the food menu, I tried asking a very fundamental thing. These balls are I determinate my self, so that the relationship between us is more clear, I realized that if he too loves me exactly what I understand.
I remember he was so upset and crying when he walked Soekarno Hatta airport two years ago. He can not lie to me, that's what I believe is all too obvious and clearly painted face and his attitude, he was so attentive, so that's a strong character that I like him. He is not easily affected, only I was disappointed with him when he does not really chose her study archaeological research in the world. I'm disappointed - I'm more disappointed that she is reasons to be close bus with her former lover who is now married to another woman leaving a deplorable act. That was disgusting. First of all I was mad disappointed but now I've started to look on the bright side. But I still regret that plans are not smooth. I've always dreamed dreams if we are united in a marriage we will be the same as having a profession that could lift the name of the State of Indonesia. His dream goal becoming a Archaeologists who want to find or restore the kingdom of Majapahit whom her admired his prowess. But an instant everything is destroyed, because the guy she was dating a jerk who ever after my departure. Well never mind it was all over, maybe it is a life story that must be session he lived. "Hyo halo-halo ... there are people," he asked suddenly realize that my thoughts, I was shocked and tried to smile growing surprise her "what do you want to ask!" He said with curiosity. Light I will publicly ask her out, I told him if December this year I really want to have a great moments with him, I told him that actually I was really falling in love with him for a long time, it's just hard for me to say it publicly. I was only able to show the character and some more attention to him. We fell silent for a long time after my confessions, until I took a deep breath to speak again, I'm glad he's still patiently waiting until the end of my explanation, although I have not to go identifies something. Can not make me concentrate his gaze, he was still watching me with curiosity that attracted my attention. I doubt fatherly to tell her, I'm afraid he rejected "Hyo..-don't make me dying of curiosity!" She urged anxiously, and I'm actually really enjoying the panic. He looked into closely, "you are not dumber, right!" Well I'm smiling again with a little coughs cover his loss of confidence. First of all I'm looking for simple and straightforward language of the election he said he did not mean to double or confusion with my challenges. I'm sure he would not be able to refuse, but somehow I was nervous to say it. "D after you knew that I loved you, you will receive my challenges. If only I want to take you closer, or…something. - I mean I'd love to take you to know that very few places I enjoy doing. I want my December this year will become very much alive as the sun. "I shut her up not talking, who knows what she’s thinking, I tried to observe the changing face painting change the appearance of" how? Do you agree when I took out Java! "I said again" I want us to Yogyakarta, Bali and Jakarta, this month only, you know I do not have much time, you know I-..! "I continued, and then she’s stuck her finger at my lips, sshuttt! Only cues. "What will we do" she replied uncertainly is not impossible anymore, what does that mean I asked myself "what are you thinking about me!" I continue to investigate the meaning of the question. "Well I mean, I've never gone with the men who are not brothers were alone, I mean what,
Shall we do for one month!”Was the questions make me increasingly uncomfortable, I know what it means" what do you think I’ll...! "I said out loud a little grimly.”Of course not tentus wrote, I just have not got a clear picture," he explains the confusion that had me thinking he was up. "I'll take you in December to hear the beginning of our week stay in Surabaya as a state we are still sleeping at home, respectively, do you read!" He just nodded at my explanation "and a week later we are to Jakarta, where I will order a two-room hotel with a chance I've ordered it even for one day, an emergency just afraid if you do not like the place, happened to be on Jakarta java jazz festivals, and there are several painting exhibitions of international caliber. There we saw some inter-museum collections are not as many as in Surabaya. next week I want to take you to Yogakarta, there are many places that we can visit starting from the temple, there we can stay home grandparent my daughter, I had some empty rooms there. And last week until the end of December until the beginning of the rest of the year we can stay in Bali, we enjoy the beach the more viscous the exotic, there is the exhibition handicrafts ASEAN culture that has invited guests from Europe! - So please tell me if you approve it please! "Without realizing I like the dumb guy who begged a royal queen. He combines his eyebrows and cheeks puffed out, he hesitated, I turned pale to hear the answer. It is as if the sentence would be a prickly mascot. My hands are still just a glimmer of hopeful pleading smile broke from her lips, but that's not enough to make me to be quiet, not enough to make me stop turmoil. All are still vague between agree or reject - a headache if I have to imagine that going over to failure. There seemed to be ready for a sword that pierced my heart. "Hyo" she said in a silence that made me twitch. I said it could not address, just saw it looked "okay I agree, I happen to need entertainment from my fatigue, I was busy last year with the world of hospitality that almost made my running routine is not normal!" she chuckled when he saw my face change back to normal. I’m happy very pleasure not playing my heart to hear it; I do not care about anything because that I really care with my agenda schedule to begin my show with him. Commencing from now there will be next four days. "Sure D - I'm here for your Entertainments!" I said simply. But the smile did not go to get a response. I just think if he started to smile at me stingy. "Hyo, maybe my savings is not being sufficient for our vacation, if you book a room five-star hotel!" Spontaneous me mad I do not like her that was underestimated with me, of course he's innocent girl that I do not know what the proper name for him. "Desy, I'm not asking for heavy medical or everything, I just asked you to turn the time in the month of December; I'm not asking you to donate some of your wealth fatherly
on our vocation later. You understand! That's all my job responsibilities, and will not let you carry cent! "She still saw the look my anger, I do not want to make it not so I try to smile with the best picture of my lips to her sweet smile. After all clear, I‘m arrange our events to be more comfortable, have up a list of places of interest and exotics in terms of culture, I ordered some plane tickets and train for the next trip, certainly not to be too time consuming when I compile them from now on . That night was the beginning of time it will be our happiness in the next pass, we also are more confident to express our true heart's content, the more confident I will when I'm led her sector in the event and have met with some friends or relatives. Then my answer would have been full of confidence when they are asked about who she is beside me. My family heard about my confession and my heart. I was embarrassed to see their reaction was mocking me. Even my brother laughed at me very evident who have succumbed to a woman "far away a school to Japan turns out to younger elementary class!" Spontaneous hug to throw a chair toward her face. And he could only grimace in pain. Aunty Lasmi papa's wife seemed happy to join me; his smile was so pure it's just that I'm reluctant to admit the existence of the woman even though I really love their children. I refused to smile, the cash made her sad. But really I do not to clearly although, I must admit I almost just happy to see me happy. "Pa, only this time I saw my brother fall in love with a woman, what about Japanese women can not make her heart melt as strong as Desy, right?" He continued talking to Dad, of course, actually it was meant for me. "Yogi-yog mouth guard, this about feelings, but honestly Yoga aunt like you're starting to open up "style as my defense, but I do not know I could no longer trust with her completely, as he previously even some milk once he gave me during my childhood after Aida mama left me!. Papa left the three of us, and aunt after her. My brother and I are still busy chatting in front of the TV show series Beverly Hills 90210. "Ah I know from first if you like it!" He went on to once again call arguing "it's just as weird as you, why does it the same surprise as love but you cover it up!" I still hear her chattering, my eyes still see the TV show up when I was no longer small talk, just wait to hear that he is constantly accusing me "we mean a hypocrite!" I asked - we spontaneously each other and he just shrugged. But before we are getting argue back. Papa was giving me some voucher meals, lodging vouchers. And several shopping vouchers, of course this time I could not refuse, because I needed and this can make the nuances my December more enjoyable. Thank God for everything that has been received. I got hugged daddy, and this is the first time I received a handshake Aunt Laksmi after so long I hate it. This fine lady's hand as if he was happy when I reached his office he took a step forward seemed to want to hug me. But unfortunately I desperately tried to refuse his hospitality, I do not have the heart to refuse actually just that I do not want to lose with this woman, whenever I see his face I always pictured how he broke my mama painting. Since that also a sense of sympathy for her as her stepson vanished at once. I am thankful papa and my brother who is also the woman's child, to understand each other and understanding the emotional level of the aunt who still in a cross mind line with Laksmi. Yogi very understanding, and has always been a mediator and not always for my business to interfere with his biological mother. Papa always knowing a problem and direction of our hearts and always try to be consider about my arguments although sometimes she's so heavy must choose between his wife and children are always at loggerheads.
Right at the end of November I tried to reach him, only just make sure, that he was not changed his mind. I pray gratitude endless, tomorrow early morning is my beginning. I would date one week in Surabaya. She just said that for three weeks he had had reason to say goodbye to his parents, if he was about to be moved while in Jakarta by the hotel manager. Actually, I'm sorry why we have to lie, but how else, his parents would not give permission if their daughter was alone with a man who has not become her husband. I know with all that. I accept it, and it's not a very disturbing heavy soul. Especially since the beginning of the month of December he had officially resigned from the hotel where she worked. So it is not immediately make it easier for us to draw suspicion on vacation without her parents.
During a date in Surabaya, everything is still normal as before, nothing is different. It's just that we spent a day, almost all day, from morning to night. Every now and then I took him to visit the area near Surabaya as Mojokerto, Pasuruan, poor, and gresik mbatu. Without having to stay an inn, we just bring some clothes replacement purposes only, if we would spending our time a lot of time on the beaches, headlands, or mountain range and Mount Bromo Madakalipura waterfalls and other attractions. I always leave with an analog camcorder and camera; I do not want to miss any moments together. Even though I knew he was not a girl who likes to save a picture of a man who had become her lover. I feel we are equally as happy with our current situation, I’m feeling deeper though sometimes I'm scared to fail to be some things that haunt my mind. When she smile bloom and back shrinking fear, as if I did not want to go again the left. Our dating in the Surabaya city was successful and very expressive.
Stepping on the evening of the second week I was contacted by phone again, but this time she's smart. Before I could answer my question asked "I'm ready, and no changes planned to go alone to Jakarta!" he chuckled a little chuckle. I'm happy with the answer, of course, more to make my decision clearer, my departure not in vain. Adrenaline racing is increasing over time the race has been and will live. My life is more colorful. As I waited for her at Juanda air port, my heart is full of turmoil. i really feel impatient when I’m wait her arrival, I was just afraid she scatterbrained all my plans list that have been neat. Patience and diligence I waited for him the main door, I was dating accidentally two hours earlier than scheduled flights. This time I did not dare to call home. I'm afraid about my worried could spoil everything. I took a seat and tried to calm, though my right fingers are clenched hard and squeezing my left finger and squeeze a soft drink tin that started out of shape. Many times I sat and waited fro. Also repeatedly I’m watching my Hugo clockwise. Often he drained my patience. Oh god - what creature he is, he's flipping so easily turn my heart. It seems I'm too busy thinking about his whereabouts. I just try to keep remembering read all the sentences he said last night, and I remember he promised to meet me at the airport. For a long time I sit in a chair waiting, it was very uncomfortable, though feels soft. Possibly, just because of my mood feeling. An hour later a new face appears just in front of me with a look and a charming smile, walk tall, wearing jeans, tight shirts with blue cloths wrapped in black velvet coat. Very sexy coupled with her high boots well although only two inches, but really it is increasingly making its appearance more captivating. "Long time" I said with a smug tone I could stand it no longer. Unfortunately, he only smiled. Make my anger melted, and then I grabbed her hand and then I carried her suitcase "I took the taxi stalled in Ahmad Yani streets! He said quietly. "Sure this is not expensive!" I said, lying. My heart began to calm down, now she’s sitting against on my shoulder. It was not playing great this feeling affect me. A flight attendant offered us a drink, I took it too him, I don’t know why after that I felt more like mad once it felt like I kissed her lips, after all this time I did not do so officially since two years ago. Accidentally drank a glass of water she had just drunk. End the rims still attached to the painting mate natural lip color. Just saw me grow passionate, still I don’t now why so suddenly fantasizing that not only do not, I'd love to kiss her. My heart was pounding when the cash his face looking at me. Eye contact seemed to signal that the green light for me. I doubt it and are still in doubt until - when I close my lips some one centimeter from his lips, it seems there is no rejection. As a result I brought too, burning our desire to be one until we've done it unknowingly. We began to realize when one flight attendant interrupted and said "please wear a seat belt" gosh how embarrassed we are, but I'm pretending calm and without the slightest empathy for the flight attendant who disturbed me, enjoying her lips. We are just silent; I will not look good at conversation. Shame we are still clung to the flight ends. Arriving in Jakarta we go directly to the Mandarin Oriental hotel that has me a message a few weeks ago. Surely this would be my second week of a very-very-very-bigger. Here is the beginning of my love life. I ordered a connecting room, of course, it's easy for to keep terms of security, and I’m a big responsibility on their parents even if they do not know for sure. I left her room to going my room, though I could use the door connecting rooms, but it seems I do not want to use it. This afternoon I'd love him to enjoy the hotel area. I just do not want her to feel exhausted and too tired. Although she’s not mind if I took a date immediately around Jakarta enjoys broad daylight. Lying on my bed, this hotel is quite convenient, for the first time I visited this place, and my telephone rang "may I come to your room, or if not we could meet in the hotel lobby, I heard they were there painting exhibition gallery in the ballroom!" melodious voice, with no answer and I just nod my head alone. "Okay I'm waiting in the hotel lobby," he added without giving me a chance to answer he too hung up. Huffttt…. .really… rude. I changed my shirts as soon as possible which have not been straightened from my travel bag. I grabbed all there at the top, I wore a white burgundy red sweater. Straightened my hair and left my room to see him in the hotel lobby. There's already seen her sit a novel with a glass of fruit punch. This time he was still wearing the same clothes just wearing a light blue scarf instead her coat. Still beautiful in my eyes, I approached though he was not aware of my arrival. "You reserve one?" I asked and he just shook his head. Wrong a lobby waiter approached us with a plate of small cakes and Sacker and opera cocktail plus a glass for me. Then a waiter left us without disturbing our preoccupation. He smiled "her beauty," she asked me that surprised me. "She?" her eyes just waiter back in the direction it goes. I realized with whom she meant pretty "but you're not her!" I replied with a stare. Normal face expression, to hearing my comment. "You're not finished as thick as a novel with consider right? With me in the lobby," I like the stupid man who wants to be noticed. Back again he smiled and closed LABARKA his novel. "Thanks!" I replied. “Your cocktail is spending half an hour again I'm taking you to enjoy the show! The command went close when his chair is near across my chair. Reaction triggered my heart thumping, I was a medical student, why can not I control my opponent, and what am I sick? I asked myself. I was not made known, was so strongly attached to its charm than anything I've ever known. SHe’s now changed; he could look more mature and incredible tease. I forced myself to wake out of her reverie; it's obvious why I still do not believe it. He is real and in front of me. Now cut the opera and Sacker cake into pieces. "Enjoy it, you live and stuffed your mouth puncture, chew slowly and enjoy the sensation of taste". I follow any suggestions, do the same camp, and stopped suddenly when one Caucasian man with a uniform style chef to our table. I was surprised to see foreigners in cash was to be named to make it out of their seats to shake her hand; the chef does not just stop when he too held her hand go hug my boyfriend. I really want to compose them, but when I saw no need to feel that she tried to feeling off his body from his arms. Thankfully I muttered as if aware of it. I do not like if he makes me jealous, I could not help not to look, I can only reflect it to forms that became clear, her chef was served my hand to reach his office and I had to force myself to smile and pretend comfortable with their conversation. Soon the chef is leaving us. I understood from the conversation they had long known each other, from their conversation there is one sentence that made me smile when she introduced me to the chef as a boyfriend. "He's from Italy – his name is Mitille, he's my boyfriend" he said with a smile "He worked here; he likes to call me duck dessy well maybe inspired by Walt Disney!" she added. I just smiled at the story, not just if the chef was willing to call her dessy duck. We again went to visit the exhibition event at this hotel. Everything is good, I want to buy one of their trophies, and it’s just me reluctant to inconvenience him. Because I still do not want to mess up all my plans. "Stand there, in style natural because I want to take your picture with the background of this painting!" While I show you one of the paintings that had wanted me to buy. This is just a painting of a black horse that runs around the coast with no blocking. "OK! I love horses "she said simply as she styled her beauty seemed as ready to pick up.”Perfect. One more time please! Smile ready! Good girls! "She looks at me and now she's back telling me to pose like that I command her.” Select the ground own your back!" she said, taking a walk around the gallery. We stopped near at an angel statue around the fountain outside the ballroom. "What if here!" I asked him. He just raised his hand two thumbs up. "Okay. Wait a minute! "I asked. Then I went to see a visitor to ask for permission assistance in order to take our picture. His name is Luke, I am grateful to him because he was willing to help me. I think my girls’ friend was shocked, when I grabbed her hands too felling my arms. Her expression is so natural, now I’m haunting and add artistic value. "You chose yes," he asked. I just nodded and he cornered her elbow toward my stomach until I winced in pain. The next day we passed the day with more interesting, starting with our hobbies to traveling museum, to hunt for some silverware, a romantic diner, fishing in Ancol beach, we even danced after enjoy java jazz festival which happened to be held in Jakarta at that time. The fourth day we moved to a hotel that is located right in the heart of His Majesty the city. This time I used a voucher that Papa gave as a gift. Larger grand hotel is very attractive and extraordinarily beautiful. Accidentally is my second choice for reasons I wanted to celebrate his birthday together here. I heard this place is quite romantic couple again tempted fatherly love, and that's the current condition. I don’t know intentionally or not these vouchers can only be used as a voucher in the sense that the couple had only one room with one king-sized bed. Oh God what else this crazy thing. "Never mind do not matter, that must over there, a comfortable sofa that we can later just use only, after all, you know this is long vocation schedule all hotels must be full!" He said as he pulled my arms in front of the reception - who had glanced at them smiling as if watching us. I am only still slightly confused expression. "Is…
never mind! If you're not comfortable we are looking somewhere else? "He continued. Oh stupid I thought of course I am very happy so I'm confused if you're the one who would reject it - but if your expression like this of course I would love to say YES….. Yeahhh…sure… YES I’m agreeing. I tried to smile casually - "how?" She said "okay!" I replied. I read my back and fill out some forms that they ask, and then I took out several sheets of one hundred thousand for the deposit requirement. "We have received a million yes Sir…Yoga?" Reception said it, and he smiles greeted us both, I just nodded, trying to ignore them. Because I am very glad to see and do not refuse to share a room with me at all. "Yes sir everything is wrong, this key to room number 9014 with the view that you want. Congratulations to rest hopefully your honeymoon fun! "She added that could make us both look the same, I was smiling when she said" thanks! "I’ve just passing a reception desk. She led my steps and go hand in hand with the help of a bellboy brought our luggage to the room 9014. She may not realize when I noticed a very fast pace, the style is what makes me mad at him madly. He's a woman who has never knowingly engaging and views of the opposite sex. He is beyond me until room number 9014, bellboy who helped us was our leave after explaining room area with detail and functionality. Since the second last step bellhop left us, I suddenly became nervous and ill at ease there who wants me to do without I can concentrate even little bit. Now he stood in front of the closet and hung the clothes our clothes into one, then go make a pot of the heat that has been available in the room pantry, and then go see the collection of the mini bar provided by the hotel. As for me, just quietly sitting room sofa without doing anything, just messing play phones only - just eliminate the jitters. We are equally as quiet and no one can to start conversation, whether he's too nervous? I do not know I do not know for sure, that she looks calmer than I was. When he let go of her high hills, she came up with a pot of tea and a muffin she bought some last night. "Books that you brought so many? 'Greets me started, I was quiet and smiling as usual only while trying to grab two ceramic cups and filled each one with a homemade tea. "Fragrant" just lip service when he saw him flip some diktat of medicine. "Oh - yes, I think its Twinning chrysanthemum! Most hotels use the type that! "Clearly casually without looking at me" have I filled the bathtub first wash it with warm water, if not one I also carry aromatherapy, if you'd let me out now? "I just shook my head and left. I'm trying hard to master desires and emotions that had long burst of pent-up, I did not want him labeled as a guy jerk - no I do not like it. I do not want bad character make her to stick around me. I also shower as much as possible, as relaxed as possible face the charm that never missed just a little bit me. "Hyo, Yogi I will call you latter-but calm down I have not picked it up" she said as she cried without even the slightest approach towards me. Maybe because this place is a little transparent, so he approached the room was a little embarrassed. "Lift it, no big deal, Just ask what the need!" I yelled back. And it seems he picked up the call. Apparently Yogi only tempt us fear that if attitude already declining. I saw him laughing at kometr Yogi, well I know what they were saying. I wish I could be like a Yogi thinking, but I knew this when our sins are not married. Tonight I plan to take her leave the dance floor; I'd love to do it alone with her. After all my concern over my bathroom, I met him was engrossed in reading the novel with his blue eyes, his body relaxed on a pillow lengthwise with the overwhelming concentration on contact with pages novel. Well Lord how sexy he is above her bed with her hair loose, longitudinal leg felt like a sheep that was resigned to tiger pounce. Not the least he noticed my arrival, of course not aware, when his ears covered with a monster boom handset is twisted the CD player. So it forced my hand touched her shoulder to tell him to shower. "Take a bath; I want us to have dinner on the restaurant!" I said softly without reducing the firm impression. "Okay! I thought you are not yet finishing, your bath for a long time because "the novel is placed just above the bed, holding up my arm like an electric shock. I also left the room; I will have to look horrified when his shadow on the wall of glass reflected the exotic bathroom. "I do not have a dress!" He said as he opened the closet, "Lighten up, I got a dress for you!" I replied as calmly as possible "wash up later let me first where I prepare which you would choose?" Again I enjoyed the tea had been left with him, all This is the beginning of the romantic story of a rising every time, I always want to spend time with him. When this dream I certainly would not want to wake up so I would not lose it. I took myself filling my diary as much detail as possibly, about the place and date of our time together. I am happy to hear it sing in the bathroom even though I'm not too fond of the song's Five-until the time is through. I opened one of my travel bag is blue, the contents of this travel is largely a gift that will intentionally give him our time together as a souvenir, although sometimes I still judge less. Because of this special evening so I chose a maroon colored shirt with the sleeves cut short a sexy dress and some black embroidery wrapped around the neck. I hope only-hope she likes it. I put the clothes in a black box without a lid and I put on the dressing table. Then I’m hurry to left her just because I think she'll know what I mean. And when I heard footsteps running to take the box, I still pretend nonchalant expression, even though my mouth wanted to say I hope you like it but it was not until ejected from the tip of my tongue. My command is to observe the appearance turned me away, but unfortunately my ego let him go. I'm just getting ready to tidy up my evening dress suits. When I returned to pick up my watch, how I was so impressed with him when he saw the appearance of a simple but elegant change. Her face looks so beauty with natural cosmetic, tidy with a little hair make up spray and hair clips decorated party. "You're beautiful!" I said warmly from behind his back that caught the mirror. From behind he said, "Probably because her dress is pretty, so I helped!" she said "thanks, the size fits my body, and I like your colors design?" - We smile in the mirror, "thank God if you like it! You look beautiful with maroon color, coupled with a cord, it was perfect! And if you're ready we can go now ". We left that place and going to restaurant both nights to spending our time. I felt so amazing when she was closed, an I lock her hands with my left hand, we walked as calmly as possible such that a pair of newlyweds on their honeymoon. Some people we passed some of them greeted us and congratulated even swapped pleasantries we do not know each other. "I love this night!" Cash, I turned and said "I love you D! I hopefully you can understand” she
smiled too" I LOVE YOU TOO ". It was a beautiful night and we spent the evening enjoying a dinner with a glass of wine as a complement. He was not a good dancer but he's smart to adjust to movements. Oh god I wanted her to be my wife someday because I'm so very, very loved all my heart. Never had I felt great love before. That night we went to other places of entertainment that is more alive for us. Well we went to enjoy
Going to Izmail marzuki theatrical. I held his hand all night without a single moment I let go. I huge her closely When there is a chance, I kissed his cheek, he too tenderly kissing me back, slightly slanted eyes that night that drowsiness may occur. "I'm feeling blue!" she tell me when she kiss my lips, I smiled as she kissed her hand "I do not want to lose you!” We looked at each other even though in loudly the audience was clapping to the appearance of the player’s theater actor. Although the spectacle of the theater was over we also are still sitting at the same sofa, well just the two of us at that time. She tucked his head on my left shoulder; we talked like someone who is getting married. We discussed starting from the smallest to the two of us will be elderly. Because all of
That was very sweetest, so I hate when I have to put an end to my December But I have to make choices for the future, I have to sacrifice one of them first fatherly get it all. My love for him could not unstoppable, but the goals are very important remedy my post goal Promise to my mom. All are difficult choice for me, I do not want my mama lost dreams, well they are two women who I dearly love this earth as long as I live. Maybe my love will be gone when I'm dead. And despite the death of their names must still be in my heart - God know that. We returned to the hotel by taxi when he got there our watches have a three o'clock in the morning. My head was a little dizzy, probably because I drank wine before. "You can run," he asked when he got off from the taxi. "Yah-yah of course! I can not! "My legs are still able to head up the floor a little dizzy though, next time I repeat to not drink three glasses of wine directly. My intention was merely to relieve my nervous with her. And it works even if a bit silly because I'm a little drunk. In the morning when I woke up at eight in the morning, it seems that she is Asleep on the couch. I became concerned because of my actions last night, why not me but why would he keep that look after me, I woke up and was still silent on the bed looking at the still sleeping on the couch even though it was eight o'clock in the morning. I capture her sleeping pose with some of my Nikon camera shots. She is still beautiful despite the deep sleep state. Suddenly there are telephones from the hotel to ask if we'll have breakfast in there restaurant offer a breakfast menu or we have ushered in the room. I just make a decision if I will come to take its own course going to there restaurant get on breakfast room service without proper functioning. Before I woke I ran a bath. And after the bath was finished he had straightened up and went to bed last night I slept. I forbid it tidy for me "D-do you trim them, waiting for room service on duty there when we go!" I'm a little upset but she does not ignore "this shower head is about nine hours, may be we run out of breakfast menu, get me wait you here! “ Shortly later we was ready to take breakfast menu. We sat the restaurant adjacent to the curtained window, next to a piano, before I play it I will ask permission to one of the staff for a permit. I sing our favorite song, and it made her smile this morning; I did this deliberately, because exactly twelve o'clock that night was his birthday. Some guests clapped their hands for me, even if some people think I'm the one who was in charge of entertaining them. I smiled to hear their apology. "Hyo, you always make me smile! Thank you for everything! "She said as we were about to visit the gym for fitness alone.” sure, because I love you". "Why do not we race pool?" I turned the conversation that started making me nervous. "I would lose what if we run a quick race!" she said. "What if between both of them!" I went in the swimming pool while plunged into the pool with Burst out laughing out loud to see yank fell off the cuff, but Tina arrived stopped her laugh when I saw her that do not appear up to the surface pool for a minute. I'm confused "oh no-no-no-D-Des, come on you do not kidding right” I hurry up go swimming and take a drowned body pulled to the surface; I panicked when his eyes were closed. her body lay on the floor with a pale, I touch her nose still breathing, still beats even the heart though not fast, I tried to give artificial respiration, press and press, and my stomach again I give her artificial respiration. I'm still confused why not go wide open eyes, I was afraid of her body went rigid, then grabbed her robe to I’m wearing her clothes on her body, re-punched tap water that swallowed his stomach to be vomited through her mouth. Give artificial respiration again. Suddenly my heart was racing faster just now realized my lips had been bitten by it, with a lovingly hand pulled my head closer her faces the cold is beginning to attack us now changed be ready melted from warmth that we desire. It got so bad why did I ever fall for him, as I really enjoyed the kiss her, suddenly her kicked my left leg until I’m fell into the pond seem to last. Now he is laughing at me changed heavily. "You cheated!" she shouted to attract the attention of hotel guests. But the cash they also followed him to laugh at me. "Sorry! Give me your hand" I said, slightly embarrassed at the mall I started to realize no one is standing up as they defend. Her hands outstretched and this time I purposely pulled back so that she fell in too swimming pool with me. Turns out I had. Now we are back in the water even just to chat with friends while drinking brandy with the other guests around the poolside. My brain was working hard fatherly celebrate his birthday tonight and tomorrow morning. I want it all special. I want her to always happiness with me; I want only me who could make her very happy. I really want be married with her. "Hey, what do you think?” she asked me as he took the yellow leaf falls just above my head. "Tomorrow is your birthday, so tell me what you want!" I’m going to stroking her long hair and still smell it. Only she paused as she looked Keats sky closed her eye. I also just enjoy painting his face "I just want you to continue to love me! Why I really fell in love with you, I somehow feel bound always by you! Requirements without the need for "the answer is silence, not daring to make a alphabet I said, I do not dare to sharing all what's I wants in my brain.”You know I love you!" I said simply. "Well," se continued swimming left me, when I felt she was saddened by the sentence itself precisely with my answer. I loved what it is not enough for him, I will very jealous when she dated a man who had left him and changed her dream. Take my heart sick when she was left without an explanation jerk for marrying another woman. Did she know that when far from it I will feel miserable? No, she will not know my pain. I do this all for her, I just asked her to be patient for a few years. I swam after him and hug him. "Believe me, I love you so much!" I say, that in turn make her eyes filled with glass. "Tell me, what do you want on your birthday tomorrow, I want you to have happiness in kind without being able to forget all your life!" I replied. Now she smiled and went away leaving me alone in the pool with the others "are you going?" I asked quietly mourn his departure. "I'm cold Hyo, we seem to have a long soak!” she continued, then I tried to follow her shadow back. We talked a long talk about our dreams to dream of navigating the future. Her dream is simple she just wants to be a housewife with a boy and a girl with her baby’s. "Why do not you want to become Archaeologists again?" I asked. Deep breathing just smiled as she pulled in, "I don’t know, it looks like Indonesia is not too appreciate the value of their ancestral history," he replied "that made me reluctant to jump at it!". I can not believe his thinking "really? What's not because of the salary of civil servants are not promising for the object yes! "I chuckled, he too was following me." No of course not because of salary, but I seem to have contaminated and I learned by department hospitality lately ". We were silent for a moment and then kissed each other view respectively. "If you like, come with me to Japan, or maybe you want to spend time waiting for my studies until I majored in German specialists in internal medicine. If you want we could live there? "I continued trying to get his attention." I would like them know you're a doctor, where you can take the school Archaeologists, who knew you could achieve your dreams with me in Europe someday. Europeans who knows give more appreciative of their ancestral culture. Come with me. You can walk my study of Japanese language and culture. So you will not be too hard, free, you can learn about Japanese culture in the city of Toyota, like I did two years ago, "she just quietly accept my explanation, I do not know what she thinks. If she’s willing I'd be very grateful to God about this. "I'm not ready for it!” she said simply. I was sad to hear the explanation is very short; it is not a draw with the long explanation about my offer for her. "I'd love, Hyo tomorrow we can have dinner together, with small lights over the kitchen and heard a faint with fondness our songs till morning!" I smiled back and kissed his hand open and refined it. "That's it!" I replied. she just nodded without saying anything. I tried to pass her desire, I'm trying to find out the most romantic places in Jakarta, I'm trying to get a table design that has a romantic feel complete with the appearance of the drink. I tried to Goggling to find some tips and advice telling. I called a reception at the Mulia hotel just to ask for help about my desire as a hotel guest. The hotel provides several bids ranging from a place or book for my show later. That morning as I was originally just too saying happy birthday when she wakes in the morning, I did not want her staying up all night again after I had severe dizziness for wine the night before. I left a box of opera cake with one watches his favorite gift. I wrapped neatly with her favorite purple wrapping paper, deliberately put them on the bedside table complete with a bouquet of red roses, fresh and fragrant. I left her alone in room. Because this morning I was busy preparing for her special event tonight. I ordered room service to order their breakfast menu delivered to my room through the door knob menu. I tried to contact Rizal knew his uncle had several private boats in the area of Ancol just maybe one day I could hire her. But it is hard to me her cell phone. Silvi and I had to call his girlfriend. I was very reluctant even contact Silvi; that’s all. I do this for her. The new pass Silvi I reached Rizal, who was indeed his cell phone was not activated because Rizal was staying at home Silvi. As I was busy preparing for her back and forth, I realized that if he is did not check if she had found time for breakfast, so I decided to re-contact her at the Hotel. "You where?” she asked a little upset, I really like it when her attention to me like this. "Happy birthday my sweat heart always and always hope you can not stop to fall in love with me." Tone sounds to me smile. "I'll be back in two hours!" I continued. "Where you are? For tonight you do not have to worry, we can eat here alone while watching cable TV, or we can walk around Monas night out! Go home I'm afraid I did not want breakfast if you're not right back! "He threatened and shut off my phone. Sometimes difficult to understand, but I realized I loved him with all he had. I do not want to thwart the threat is beautiful in December that I had compiled a long time. I pay someone to organize the design of this boat. Rizal said the man was a trusted employee uncle so I will just trust what he says, when I’m observe taste pretty good at giving advice, he too offered to entertain us tonight. I smile, I just told him if ak is coming to this place promptly at seven this evening, I asked for his help to prepare some of the needs that I need you tonight, "Mr. Zainal, maybe there will be some people who took my order to ship this, Mr. can lay out procedures in accordance with the one I described earlier. Thank you so much that before. For your courtesy of Mr. she’s my lover and I really want to make the sweetest memories of a lifetime. I just requested help you! ". I’ll shake his hand and by providing some bills as tips. "Yeah nice den, let me prepare as much as me? Do not worry "his do not allow my gift, even I’m force and his still refused. He hugged me like child. I left him now, go to contact Rizal, Rizal said he is less likely given the Tips. Person's total if you want to help people. Now back I check my list about what I need. Everything is already ordered and pays. Now I still go back to the hotel to meet him, the distance from the store I visited recently so I decided to walk alone. Gasp for my breath, when I’m entering the lobby area. I can not believe myself when my body that does not smell good, knowing I was just walking on the highway full of smoke and heat of the scorching sun. I stopped by the store bakery to order a cake Sacker and opera again and ask them to send to Ancol to Mr. Zainal with the address and cell phone number that allows them to meet. I left with a box of chocolate candy as my little gift today. Arriving on room 9014 he opens the door for me with a sullen face bent and buckling. I do not like it, so I grabbed it and then I kiss her lips without touch her hip could yell for help. Then I huge her and say something” happy birthday!" I let my arms, bring them to the sofa that I noticed he was still neatly with the food menu has not been touched at all. "You have breakfast?" I asked, shaking she head worried for me ”did you have breakfast, she asked again interrogation me" Come on might as well have breakfast, I know you must not swallow anything this morning! "Accurate. I'm glad she’s watching me. We breathe out through the balconies to cuddle and talk, I love this atmosphere, which increasingly makes not the heart to leave in December. Why do I feel the time pass so fast, I'm afraid to lose it because I love her more. I love him more, "you've opened the box of purple," I asked "I want to open it when you are besides me!” she tempts me to smile and I nodded and he was immediately opened it softly "open as you please, do not care wrapper!" I suggested. Follow it until he too was surprised by the feeling of happiness that overflowed overflowing because I knew from the beginning he liked it. "do you like?" I asked. "How do you know?” she said. "Hugo Boss to see your expression when it is very clear that you really want it!" I said, I huge her last pair left in the hands of the watch. "Thanks! I like, I love you but not because of your gift for this! "he makes me sorry to hear the explanation that makes me concerned about the" I know you're longer, so I'm not worried at all about the pattern you think to love me. D To be honest I really love you, come with me when I was in Germany later ".she just smiled and crying on my shoulder "why did not you tell from the first Hyo!" she said. I paused to convince myself why can not I answer his question. I though had been loved for a long time. I can only answer with more tightened my arms, and kissed his cheek. "I will not forget this December Hyo!" her voice was hoarse. "So do I D, I want to be there next December we can put together, I hope you understand and know me!" I stammered a little brick.
Promptly at seven in the evening we had reached the boat just above ancol already ordered. I'm happy with the help of Mr. Zainal, as well as her "beautiful!” she said while circling the ship. "We spent the night onboard!" I said. Want a romantic evening is always warm and I put myself to bring her thoughts into my soul. She is so beautiful with a party dress that I gave Tosca this afternoon; my eyes could not turn at all to her. The more tempestuous soul, I do not want to get carried away too much to enjoy our freedom. I still want to always keep her body intact soul in God's eyes. She's drive me crazy all this time, always easy to see when my heart Jumping '. Always on my mood
"Dance with the music with Dave Koz the Dance!" Take me back her hand as she kissed her hand. "I can not!” she said. "Come on D-I'm not taking you to the rhythm of tango or salsa, or break-dance! Come on honey; please do not confuse me in December! "I begged her eyes full of hope and then I looked in the. We also danced to be some songs detour. "One song is never enough, when I wanted to dance with you! - You know, you're like opium to me since Soekarno-Hatta airport two years ago!" I explain, as both enjoy a night around Ancol. The night wind swept our faces to cool "I love you!” she smiled just to hear it again despite my repeated times. "Yeah me too! I love you too, remember me - I'm always be there when you need me! "She used to imitate my style when I was about to leave. That night, more so to make us fly, we just spent the night chatting outside the cabin. While she was a sleep in my lap.. I watched her face again; I stroked her hair, kissed her lips. I was not a good speaker as a man who was hit by another romance, only this Diary which is also the journal scratches my love life. Here I've written everything I've experienced and I feel since I knew him. Turns out I had been so long in love with him without daring to say from the first she's my beautiful ones. I wish one day he can better understand me inside and out. I looked at the star-studded night sky and bathed in moonlight how beautiful life really is. When I was eager to enjoy the night, I was awakened by accident. Her face was bathed in moonlight, sweeping melodic ear drums voices "I think I fell asleep long?" Smooth sweep hand stroking my hair to my cheeks, once grabbed her lips like a sweet fatherly wet thirst. But anyway I do not want too impolite with things like that. "Not-you just sleep a little while, probably because of wind blowing. D? "I’m quite second.”Well" he answered. Then he got up from my lap and stood tip of the ship and then I walked over and hugged her back, her long hair to slap my face just how embarrassed I made. I feel all the fish we have noticed that both of the above were playing theater on stage. Her smile turned intently at my face intently. Is now added his fingers curled on my neck seemed ready to strangle me "let's just say I'm always ready for everything. Even if you want to go - "I hate the phrase, sound cynical to my mum just a little mouth to silence the bag to continue construction of a sentence. It seems he realized "I'm sorry, I did not intend for it!" Her eyes began to glaze as pleaded. I will hug her, "I wish we could be married one day with you, I want to make love and then we raise a family and have children - D I want you to be my wife!" Our long silence and just cuddle. I am sad why I could not dampen my ambitions. "Hold me do not ever let me go!” she listened to and said "say it again!" As he kissed my lips again "hold me do not ever let me go, coz I love you!" I continued. I again reminded her to blow out the candles. We talked with a lot of food so we do not really strong with a dish that had me a message; we take turns posing in front of cameras and camcorders. At that time we promise to always fill our lives even if we will not a couple destined lovers "I'll take you up to the stars!" I pulled my arm and he was then lowered his mouth tip of my nose "Wherever we're I feel it too! Coz you always make me dizzy "he explained. I'm ashamed of cash he could always make me excited with all the personality. We stayed up all day until dawn. I tried to be the impromptu captain; I took him around the ocean Ancol. How we both no more sorrow to us and I always feel ready to live with it until a thousand years even if it's impossible. That’s looks so awesome. That day was our last vacation in Jakarta, because the next day we had to visit Denpasar Bali.
To avoid time consuming, we did a flight with Garuda Indonesia for up to Ngurah Rai. And when he got there we went straight to the angle there is a hotel, with a range of considerations we finally chose the Grand Istana Rama Kuta just in front of Bali. I had to choose the Hard Rock Bali, just that he had little objection on the grounds that my pockets are not drained. And I think that's true, so I will agree although initially I was less happy with his choice hotel. During our holiday in Bali rarely use public transportation; we tend to hire two bikes to get around the city. In fact, we prefer a holiday with a relaxing walk in order to impress. Bali is more fresh air in a low pollution and fewer than Jakarta and Surabaya. "Hyo should be here if we take breakfast, lunch and dinner we ate out just once wrote you could be more frugal!" I just listen to him without his face I saw, I tried to understand think about it a bit but after a few minutes, I said "well, if do you want it!” she too smiled. We spent a lot of time in several national parks and some traditional markets to just spend time alone together. One night we went clubbing just hard Rock café. Enjoy life music is our hobby though to be honest I do not like the music segment of their show. Impressed is not the flow of good music can be heard in the ears, but for reasons I can live with both together. Wherever he is I'm going to enjoy my life. There we met with some friends. I was introduced as a lover, it seems that the very phrase I liked when he said this introduce my beloved Yoga. I heard it seemed like it would float in the breeze like cotton. They looked familiar to me talk a little jealous of them, I just do not want to show him. I'm thankful God heard my prayer, and soon he asked his friend to leave the café because he wanted to take the free air around the Jimbaran. "They all yours?" I asked as I walked out leaving the hard rock direction. Her hand holding my hand. "Well they are my friends, when I was working at the hotel Westyn, just not too familiar, and one of them is a collages friend in the same department. One of which again is a boss who offered me a job in the Butcher His department and I said no, you throw up if I see red meat! "He said as he clutched my hand, I still suspect only if one of them has a special admire. Because of the way men view seem like there was a fire in her eyes. "You know his name is Cahyo?" SHE continued, and I turned "ehheee, why?" I was curious. "SHE liked me, but because he was a playboy I was reluctant to accept his offer to be pastry assistant in the department". My guess was correct. His eyes too clearly show the impression of jealousy. "Why did not you say to me that?”I said annoyed." does not want you anything to him? "She replied firmly turned and stopped me.”Well, what's wrong if I kiss you in front of him?" I said bluntly. "Like this" I continued, I pulled up his left arm would not fall because
Promptly at seven in the evening we had reached the boat just above ancol already ordered. I'm happy with the help of Mr. Zainal, as well as her "beautiful!” she said while circling the ship. "We spent the night onboard!" I said. Want a romantic evening is always warm and I put myself to bring her thoughts into my soul. She is so beautiful with a party dress that I gave Tosca this afternoon; my eyes could not turn at all to her. The more tempestuous soul, I do not want to get carried away too much to enjoy our freedom. I still want to always keep her body intact soul in God's eyes. She's drive me crazy all this time, always easy to see when my heart Jumping '. Always on my mood
"Dance with the music with Dave Koz the Dance!" Take me back her hand as she kissed her hand. "I can not!” she said. "Come on D-I'm not taking you to the rhythm of tango or salsa, or break-dance! Come on honey; please do not confuse me in December! "I begged her eyes full of hope and then I looked in the. We also danced to be some songs detour. "One song is never enough, when I wanted to dance with you! - You know, you're like opium to me since Soekarno-Hatta airport two years ago!" I explain, as both enjoy a night around Ancol. The night wind swept our faces to cool "I love you!” she smiled just to hear it again despite my repeated times. "Yeah me too! I love you too, remember me - I'm always be there when you need me! "She used to imitate my style when I was about to leave. That night, more so to make us fly, we just spent the night chatting outside the cabin. While she was a sleep in my lap.. I watched her face again; I stroked her hair, kissed her lips. I was not a good speaker as a man who was hit by another romance, only this Diary which is also the journal scratches my love life. Here I've written everything I've experienced and I feel since I knew him. Turns out I had been so long in love with him without daring to say from the first she's my beautiful ones. I wish one day he can better understand me inside and out. I looked at the star-studded night sky and bathed in moonlight how beautiful life really is. When I was eager to enjoy the night, I was awakened by accident. Her face was bathed in moonlight, sweeping melodic ear drums voices "I think I fell asleep long?" Smooth sweep hand stroking my hair to my cheeks, once grabbed her lips like a sweet fatherly wet thirst. But anyway I do not want too impolite with things like that. "Not-you just sleep a little while, probably because of wind blowing. D? "I’m quite second.”Well" he answered. Then he got up from my lap and stood tip of the ship and then I walked over and hugged her back, her long hair to slap my face just how embarrassed I made. I feel all the fish we have noticed that both of the above were playing theater on stage. Her smile turned intently at my face intently. Is now added his fingers curled on my neck seemed ready to strangle me "let's just say I'm always ready for everything. Even if you want to go - "I hate the phrase, sound cynical to my mum just a little mouth to silence the bag to continue construction of a sentence. It seems he realized "I'm sorry, I did not intend for it!" Her eyes began to glaze as pleaded. I will hug her, "I wish we could be married one day with you, I want to make love and then we raise a family and have children - D I want you to be my wife!" Our long silence and just cuddle. I am sad why I could not dampen my ambitions. "Hold me do not ever let me go!” she listened to and said "say it again!" As he kissed my lips again "hold me do not ever let me go, coz I love you!" I continued. I again reminded her to blow out the candles. We talked with a lot of food so we do not really strong with a dish that had me a message; we take turns posing in front of cameras and camcorders. At that time we promise to always fill our lives even if we will not a couple destined lovers "I'll take you up to the stars!" I pulled my arm and he was then lowered his mouth tip of my nose "Wherever we're I feel it too! Coz you always make me dizzy "he explained. I'm ashamed of cash he could always make me excited with all the personality. We stayed up all day until dawn. I tried to be the impromptu captain; I took him around the ocean Ancol. How we both no more sorrow to us and I always feel ready to live with it until a thousand years even if it's impossible. That’s looks so awesome. That day was our last vacation in Jakarta, because the next day we had to visit Denpasar Bali.
To avoid time consuming, we did a flight with Garuda Indonesia for up to Ngurah Rai. And when he got there we went straight to the angle there is a hotel, with a range of considerations we finally chose the Grand Istana Rama Kuta just in front of Bali. I had to choose the Hard Rock Bali, just that he had little objection on the grounds that my pockets are not drained. And I think that's true, so I will agree although initially I was less happy with his choice hotel. During our holiday in Bali rarely use public transportation; we tend to hire two bikes to get around the city. In fact, we prefer a holiday with a relaxing walk in order to impress. Bali is more fresh air in a low pollution and fewer than Jakarta and Surabaya. "Hyo should be here if we take breakfast, lunch and dinner we ate out just once wrote you could be more frugal!" I just listen to him without his face I saw, I tried to understand think about it a bit but after a few minutes, I said "well, if do you want it!” she too smiled. We spent a lot of time in several national parks and some traditional markets to just spend time alone together. One night we went clubbing just hard Rock café. Enjoy life music is our hobby though to be honest I do not like the music segment of their show. Impressed is not the flow of good music can be heard in the ears, but for reasons I can live with both together. Wherever he is I'm going to enjoy my life. There we met with some friends. I was introduced as a lover, it seems that the very phrase I liked when he said this introduce my beloved Yoga. I heard it seemed like it would float in the breeze like cotton. They looked familiar to me talk a little jealous of them, I just do not want to show him. I'm thankful God heard my prayer, and soon he asked his friend to leave the café because he wanted to take the free air around the Jimbaran. "They all yours?" I asked as I walked out leaving the hard rock direction. Her hand holding my hand. "Well they are my friends, when I was working at the hotel Westyn, just not too familiar, and one of them is a collages friend in the same department. One of which again is a boss who offered me a job in the Butcher His department and I said no, you throw up if I see red meat! "He said as he clutched my hand, I still suspect only if one of them has a special admire. Because of the way men view seem like there was a fire in her eyes. "You know his name is Cahyo?" SHE continued, and I turned "ehheee, why?" I was curious. "SHE liked me, but because he was a playboy I was reluctant to accept his offer to be pastry assistant in the department". My guess was correct. His eyes too clearly show the impression of jealousy. "Why did not you say to me that?”I said annoyed." does not want you anything to him? "She replied firmly turned and stopped me.”Well, what's wrong if I kiss you in front of him?" I said bluntly. "Like this" I continued, I pulled up his left arm would not fall because
She lost her balance of body, I went looking for her lips to return enjoyed. "I hate not pretend fatherly love you!” she heard me in silence, only a particular view when looking at my face and lips move immediately "do not do that, I like it when you are always with me. Because here with you I like do not need anything else ". Tonight we enjoy the beautiful beaches around Kuta while eating chocolate and some of my favorite nuts. We sat around a rock. Many young couples and old are still making love like ours. All was beautiful bathed in moon light waves with a stout voice. Now I'm more hesitant to leave her alone. I hope the sun will always rise in the east until I got the chance to marry later fatherly. I do love her, I will want to marry but not sooner is not this year or next year. Because all I want now is I want to get a degree in advance of medicine and women's affairs to the affairs of the third after a license to practice prepared me pocket. I feel more and not be stopped fatherly marry her. But as I gazed at the sky portion of my soul has always said if we can not lose focus of everything we can. When the sentences were burned into my soul seemed to have someone come back to slap my face so hard, I do not dissolve in the mushy feeling. I heard footsteps moving behind my back, moving his fingers on it and said "what are you thinking? He asked spoiled to stab my niche. "No - I just?" I can’t speak for the moments to try to think a minute. "You need not answer if you do not want to say it!". We then paused, "tomorrow morning I'm dying to try bungee jumping as seen on TV!” she smiled and see me, I just nodded without saying anything because I had promised myself that I will obey it as long as he can be happy. “You must play banana boat with me?”I continued. "Good - ready! Let’s go home "she answered, I knew what it meant. But I just act dumb just to answer "Surabaya," I said. "Okay, we all Surabaya's now!” she continued. "I come cumin joking!” she ran left, and then me chase until we both fell and fell in the sand beach "ohhh! You're it! "Hot. We laugh together when we fell back for a second time. Then she went running after seizing analog camera and taking pictures of my face while laughing at me. Getting chased pace speeded up gasping for breath when we were in front of the Istana Rama pages. A bellboy greeted us but we both just smiled at them, I nearly even almost ignored, we walking to playfully lifts like a child who has just won the lottery Claus. I smiled, chuckled, and until I realized when my phone vibrates again, and it turns out Dad contacted me back after leaving twenty-one missed called and five messages. I showed him my cell phone, and then we laughed. While to calling papa at three o'clock in the morning, I drove off to her room to rest fatherly. "Come in a minute!" He pleaded when pulling my arm as I stood front only door leaves. I also think she bringing me glass of orange juice that she kept in the mini bar. When I was chatting with the father he's just sitting in front of me turning on the cable TV channel search to find a suitable with she’s heart just a moments followed with a poor accent without a voice and it made me not concentrate, can not seem to papa I lied that if I was alone in my room. Papa said son, do not keep themselves alive till evil among you. "Mr. Mogzar?" He asked, I shook my head "no - papa-in-law?" I chuckled, and she smiled sweetly "papa told me so I can watch myself and not to the devil to accompany our lives! But papa ghost say to the pretty pa - if I could not keep myself constantly, "I answered honestly with a chuckle and nearly choked when drinking volumes. She too is beating me with the right hand on my left arm. "Better tomorrow we stayed just one room!" He said suddenly startled, I asked myself why "I think we are often spend time outside the hotel, so make it more efficient, we just slept in the same room, after all these rooms are spacious and there is one seat sofa we can enable the length, we can also alternate between sleeping in the bed and the sofa! "She said wisely. I'm still thinking. "I'm still there and my money is enough!" I tried to relieve his anxiety. Her hands grabbed my hand, staring at my eyes "to hear Hyo-I believe you are financially capable, but more better if we could save. I believe you - I believe if you're not a man who wills utilize all situations to reflect your passions - and because I know I will believe it! "Our silence, without face-to-eye I’m already dared looked at first.”You can choose which room you are going to close or we can look for flights alone!” she went on that made me surprised. "Desy, I'm not looking for flights. Well tomorrow we check out, if you're not agree with our problem to share one room only, and then let me choose and arrange hotel accommodation for us - you just take what I say is true only as long as you do not protest! "She paused to listen to my words, I kissed her forehead" shower head then rest, I do not want you to hurt "my message when going to leave her room. I was tired, but fatigue is always there offer, she was the antidote to my pain. I do not want to drop my physical; everywhere I go I always carry my regular vitamin intake. I could not sleep, even tired, I'm busy with this happiness to no less when I want to rest I have try to hard take a relax to sleeping with some pill for my brain. I lay down on the bed this really comforts. I opened my diary yard, back again once I read what I wrote until I ended up with emotion while reading her topic writing. I laughed and laughed and laughed until I come back when I try to avoid it sad that I no longer love her more than now. My heart and mind without being able to refuse just a second opposite. I cast my mind far ahead and said to myself one day I will marry her and take her life any country that he loves and then the two of us raise our children. How happy I was. Being a doctor is ideal my wife is my dream and make it unconditionally. It's just not right now. I accidentally tears in my eyes and hold my chest crowded. Back of the brain nerves struck by a sentence that continues to strongly embed in my brain can not focus if we lose everything we can. I cried out with no fear can awaken all guests staying. I got up to fetch water for my face washed. I looked at the face in front of the mirror a while I tell my self that I am a good selfish …..Strong…. strong…. stress on the mirrors do not be getting stress. Now I cant feel a little sleepy, must be stress does not turn up until I go back again swallowing sleeping pills to night. Later in the day when I woke up she was sitting pretty on the couch "good afternoon?" She said sweetly, made my eyes glare as he parted the mosquito net as wide as the width. "Why are you here?" I asked, slightly annoyed, but he ignored me. She range her left hand in front of my eyes, I saw her wearing the watch I gave him as Hugo birthday in Jakarta last week. "Well I know it my present!" I snapped my eyes keep glare to penetrate the cornea. She angrily was glaring at 'look at the needle! "She said over my anger.”Oh my god? - I have not dawn prayer" I'm straight up just like that. Damn grumbled "you had your breakfast?" I asked, worried, and he shook his head exactly as I expected. I feel more guilty had carried off the child I gave people without breakfast. "You must first take down to the restaurant to eat? Or maybe you could tell they were fatherly deliver breakfast to your room! "I yelled from the bathroom" D sorry I do not rush your time Farm prayer? "I continued. I heard him muttering "Hyo-Dhuha prayer too late you've already entered this coz dhuhur time!" her shout. I can only beat my head and flush head with shower water. "I've told them to bring our breakfast to my room an hour ago!" I'm glad to hear it said that. Minimal I though it made me calm for breakfast just have to wait for him waking up. Glimpse of the bathroom I saw him rush back and forth from the living room toward the bed. Having finished my shower I found out if she is busy preparing something for me I'm close to her. I did not realize I was wearing a kimono that almost half naked. And cash, she told me to stay away so I went back to her with complete menswear. How embarrassed I was. Then I go back with her fatherly late morning breakfast. "Where are you going today?" I asked - "did you say last night you would accompany me if… bungee jump-you also said that if you want to climb the banana boat?" she said like a complained. I forgot, my saliva going wet swallow throat, how could I have forgotten with all the initial plans. "I'm sorry seems to be lack of rest" I answered as simply as possible. "Let us delay it, I did not set you want to get sick, because we're still a long vacation. Keep your health, you'll go to your room, or do you want to rely more a little bit of privacy may be I can let you to were alone in the room! "I hate her to say it like that." Later in the afternoon we will check out, and we moved to the Hard Rock, are you? “I say shut him up.”Up!” she replied "you're all invited to downsize difficult, perhaps because you never hard!” I looked up to her mouth silenced new. "I do not like you said it. You still remind you - I just want to make this year more special December till the end of my time! "I continued. I got no appetite after this discussion. I'm sad and I left it on the sofa. I sat behind the desk as he opened my laptop to check my inbox. Long time since I did not check my email. And already there are fifty-four messages from my collage friend’s, Sathomi, Michael, Orlando and Katsuya. "I'm back on! Sorry "he said as he left the room after half an hour I leave alone because of my annoyance. I said nothing was said, until he was actually going open room door, I started to go after him, and go hold it until you almost fell on the floor. "Pleas do not be angry; I do not want you mad!" He smiled stroking my cheek "you've got -I Just pretend…. just pretending!”she chuckled as he pulled my hands and then close the back door of my room" I'm packing all my stuff neat, if you want to check outs now. I will help you to pack all your things ". I refused his help, I just told him to relax instead of having to help me. After all, it will not take a long time I thought. While I will clean up contact Reception Hard Rock to ask some of the rooms are still empty. "What if there are empty?” she shouted at me from the sofa. I still book a room with some of the things that are important to me to ask all finished and done I'm ready to check out of hotel. "Why did you choose hard rock," he asked "because you and I love it?" I said simply. two hours later we arrived at the hard rock with sharing a room together. Here is more extensive, and less modern and minimalist. Exclusive all seem more typical of western culture is thick interior decorating designed. "What do you say" I asked, just ask for opinions if my choice was not wrong. "Nice .... Like to stay at the Hyatt regency! "she said" similar ". I'm glad she likes. Today we are just around the hotel to enjoy the facilities, we deliberately stayed in the building construction, we avoid the outside, because I felt a little tired, he too objected when I took cycling around Kintamani. In the evening we accidentally break early when we play chess in a room, dinner, everything was different, after all this time we do not play chess. "Tomorrow I want to take candle light diner at NUSA DUA, papa gave me a voucher to eat there" I said and hoped that he would not mind for me take a romantic dinner. "I like it!" she said simply. "Lighten up I've bought all you need!" I continued. "Hyo actually I brought some clothes to put on my night when you asked me to place a formal, so you're bi-". "Des how many times I told you not to litigation or the other about money, so once again I beg you please do not discuss this!" I explain, as she furious molars. I just keep thinking why he's always pissed me off with the same topic, I told you many times that he was not continue discussing the same thing. This is all my idea, and I have considered the entire cook so this is all my responsibility. A moment later I was disappointed because it makes her uncomfortable, so I decided to take her to breathe free air. "Sorry if I upset you. I just did not want to burden! "He said as I stood up from the couch, take a sweater.”Stop! Sorry - forget it. The most important thing for me right now is you're still comfortable with me - the point - not any less! "I replied as he hugged her and forcing her head to fall on my shoulders. Fortunately for both of us since the incident no longer discuss it, after to night. From day to day I feel he is now getting closer to me. I like it, feel like she's my soul mate who never broke. If I’m not that man so who will decides. Throughout the morning we cycled, Benefits of Sleep till evening we wandered along the streets of Denpasar. And at night we visited regularly Jimbaran and some live music offerings. All was wonderful all the fun all that stirs my soul continues to make it more loving me. No other unusual novel that carries nowhere, there was no time to read itself. In us only we who exist on this planet, we thought there was no other than God who has power over our relationship. I always wanted to be the key when he became a door, I want to ink always when she sheet paper. Without it I like sports that do not have a soul, without it I'm like a baby who was left without her mother and I also like people who are born without a name so no one can call me besides him. Never had he been let out of my reach, I always keep it at any time and as consistent as possible. I want to be disciplined like the sun shining on the earth without fatigue. I want to be like the solar system in the galaxy that is always spinning on its rotation. Oh god I requested one let us love each other whatever the conditions and shape our lives to lift us up to Azrael Ridwan brought us back in the door of thy Heaven. All that I ‘m just wondering and thinking only one and you know she was. Somehow this heart can be never stopped for not thinking about her even though she never left.
Exactly at two o'clock on Sunday night she walked slowly as she came to bring something for me. Only a small dessert plate containing the Opera cake with a red candle on top, happy birthday written on it Hyo blue velvet with a red cherry placed on the right side. Sweet, it was two hours ago she lost suddenly just to make me a little surprise around the hotel poolside. "Happy birthday" she said as she hugged and kissed both my cheeks, because I think there is one less kiss, then pulled back his arms and kissed the lips of the sweet little "thanks" I said. I took off my hands are smooth and he seemed to feel ashamed for having kissed. His left hand took the bag batik ever I gifted few years ago. I wonder what she was looking for, maybe lipstick. Because very long glossy, I thought at that time. But I was wrong; her right hand pulled out a box wrapped in blue velvet with a black ribbon to her handed her to me. I smiled to see his smile genuine. "I hope you like it" he smiled and smiled almost made me uncomfortable. "Eitss - wait a minute, close your eyes and blow this candle as a symbol it is only new, you should open the gift". "Okay," I said, taking a step forward after the cake was then quoted I closed my eyes as I prayed. Only a few seconds because all I ask in the same sentence as dense as possible "quick!" she said. "What are you asking?" she asked again. "Never mind, you'll know, but not now, so the secret!" I deliberately made him curious. "Come on-bit only!" she whined. "Later!" I said nonchalantly. I ate my first spoonful overall status for her. I know he likes opera just like me, for us opera and Sacker is the joy of our national cake is second to none. "Hyo-..! he called with his mouth still chewing, I pressed my finger in his mouth so silenced. In fact he ignores me. "Well take it easy, I would spend this cake, sorry!" I said to imitate the style when I'm pissed off at me. "Heh, it's not that, I mean what are you asking about?". Curiosity has not been extinguished as it were, to be back I assure. "Des-now-if I told you - certainly not a secret anymore unfortunately. You mean them know what is the meaning of SI A HA RA? “So she could bury her curiosity. I purposely do it, just to simply want to linger longer with him. We chatted with other topics, to drink that we ordered out and had to re-order it again. “apple juice" she replied when our waiter take the order, "do you have?" she asked me. I'm still looking for the right mix juice to enjoy. "How about taste when I’m mixing carrot watermelon and tomato!" she advised me. "Done! Carrot tomato mix plus water melon! "I explain to the waiter.”Two bottle sparkling water please!" she continued. Not long later our order arrived. We then went back to the opera that he bought me. I watched the blue velvet back presents, took and slowly opened the black ribbon that tied it, then I torn the pretty wrapping paper, so I can see what objects are given. Jeez - how surprised I was. I smiled to see it while watching, why he could escape from me, when he bought it for me? Is this a coincidence or deliberate? "Yah-yah I know you're confused. But clearly we buy the same place though not in the same way! "I was puzzled to hear his explanation, I still do not believe if he watches that give shape and color brand is retype to watch that I gave him a week ago. When used as a watch that we actually bought a pair. "You like it?" He asked. I did not realize when he said that until he returned to repeat the phrase the same question. "Hello ... anybody there?" She said, dessert spoon into his plate. "Yup ... I'm here and I love it. So much - it's pretty! Ohh awesome "I said half amazed and a little confusion. I tried to remember everything that night there was an exhibition of watches imported in Mulia Hotel Jakarta, as I recall we did not buy one item. All I know is the same as we love it and are eager to buy it, only then I think to buy a Hugo lady’s than the gentlemen, just because I do not like lavish fatherly myself. And just because she wanted so I gift her favorite design wristwatch for her. Commencing design just becoming new arrival on the market only in Asia and Singapore who has a marketing and service of office as Hugo Boss watch the time. Until I had to pretend pretending back to hotel rooms and the reason I was so tired that he would return. A couple hour after that, I bought new one at Bali exhibition. After consider, I smile back "when you bought it for me?" I asked her, she just covered her face with suppressed laughter. Shook her head and holding her stomach is slim. "Please say to me - please! When you buying for me. "I asked again. I try to calm down as much as possible, and set up disordered breathing really slowly. "Okay, I tell you, I know you like that watch, I know that, then I'll buy you already, but since you're in a hurry so I can not make decisions properly. Hence I will bring you home and since I saw you were a little pale, I think because you're exhausted by noon when we went to the national museum in independence. So as soon as I take you to the hotel room I hurried back to find that watch. Grateful that I can get it.-hehhe ... need you know I love it when you bought the lady’s type for me. Because I could get in "he replied enthusiastically with a remarkable expression as a man who had just won the lottery.”Hehhh - so now I just know, if women are referred to by the seller are you" I laughed out loud, not to play fraud that we are doing at the time, was only for each other happy. "D-did you know I'm very sad time because I can not get a pair ...-butt! Now I'm glad, because you're right he gave me for my birthday "I said.”This is too theatrical," he asked me "of course not, this is a good start to the equation of our hearts". I'm happy with everything I got. I know what price he bought for me, I knew he would have to drain the bag part for me. Course, this watch will I make it a symbol of love that he gave me until later. We have not bought a pair couple though. I just think, that our lives and tastes exactly the same except that we're not used to say. "I'm sorry I did not make for your party tonight, not as fancy as you gave me party that night!" She broke my heart "is not a big problem if that's all you think, because in fact, mostly just your whereabouts can turn the night of my birth!" I replied what it is. I hugged her tightly and closely, as if I did not want to release it. I stroked her hair from covering her face, without shame she too dropped her head on my shoulder say "do you still love me?” She questioned why, does she know that I chaotic "and yes I still love you so much?” She smiled a little without looking at me. "Why only a December?” Immediately the question back at me, and I just huge her close more tightly than ever before "D – I do not mean to quit playing game your heart, but this is all for our favor, believe me I love you so much. It's just that I can not hold you in a long distance relationship that interferes with the harmony of our live respectively. Believe that one day I'll prove everything I have spoken. Name as the inscription is engraved in my heart "I still dare to immerse them without say it more. I have no other man the bus liar bleak, I know I hurt her, but this is for the good of the future. I do not want to pursue disturbed in dust. Only sounds selfish, but I should be able to choose which is most important. For me after December – a medical degree, wish I achieve, not the woman or the other. I looked into her eyes are dimmed it was overcast, and it seems like it's eyelids are no longer able to stem the tears that would embankment blow it. I hugged her back tightly, I kissed her long and delicate, tenderly kissed her shoulder. Unfortunately this had no effect. "D trust me - trust me what you saw before it's just a beginning for our future. My love will show you everything. I love you love me take this gift and do not ever ask Why? ". I thought to myself how selfish I was, to throw the girl who I love very. But really I had to, I'm not a guy who likes to think the fork, I could never draw the dividing love and dust. So I decided to put my dream goal in number one and number two in her love for him alone. I turned on my list play piano and flute with smooth jazz by Dave kozz I take her to dance even now we are looks like mad freaks who are swayed around the swimming pool at two o'clock in the morning. "Dance with me-please" I put my right hand I grabbed the nape of my neck, I put my hands to lean on her hips. "Blue session?" her attacked when lay on my chest. "Yah!" I said simply. Oh the world.... Why can not I kill her love in my life, whether I was created from a rib? Since then I am promised for myself if I will always love her, I will not go on living spree without her. At morning day I could barely sleep when not with the help of medication. My head was dizzy, so must swallow several times a day aspirin. All my guilt has been poured in my diary, there's no place other than on God's outpouring of my heart and my emotions diary is the right place for me to overflow. Why is my life like this, why the price myself could never offer, why am I against my father's wife, why - why? Why? Because I had to leave her was all my happiness, because my self-esteem. Did I have sin my Lord? Of course I'm innocent, I know, but I could not help but be disappointed when served until you failed, I could hear the laughing happiness defeats and shortcomings. December Sorry if this feeling must be sacrificed, but believe me I love you more than myself, I was never able to contain her miss when away from you, I hope someday you understand what I have done circuitry and fight for today. My Diary ... let that one day you read it.
A day later I helped him some fatherly packing your exit that have not delivered the laundry room service. "Let me to calling room service department, let them wash it?" Until you hear the call room service I will leave the door open when he was busy tidying up the jewelry that she carries. "Entry, let me check first?”I explain to the employees of the hotel." please sir! "he patiently waited to hear when I'm researching things." OK! Thanks "I said while entrusted money as tips when I shake his hands as he was about to shut the door. she smiled when he saw me carrying clothes that had just delivered room service. "Thank God!" Came the reply is then folded clothes in a travel bag. "Take not your time, - we still have five hours to till the airport, after all, Bali is not as dense Surabaya and Jakarta." she turned slightly, then took the my clothes from yesterday so I put it on the floor without a chance to fold back. "Ohhh, you or the room service to fix it," I teased, sure I know if she is to pair some button apart. Early morning she sewed for me, just because they do not want to disturb my sleep, she too sews my shirt with only minimal lighting night light, until the needle punctured repeatedly consequences. "Yes," she said, furious without going to explain what he actually did. He deliberately let to justify what I said. "Stupid" I hissed quietly. "Why is your finger?" I asked, annoyed, even though I already know what causes it. I ask because until last second she did not want to tell me everything that happened. She seems happy and satisfied to see, I upset, she was hard to discern. I must admit though sometimes he is annoying but he can always make more pounding rhythm of my heart, my life seemed more remarkable than the feeling of living without it. We are still in the sitting room together and take a breath together. This long sofa our lap so we felt really comfortable. Sitting without chatter seemed impressed as stiff as people who are noisy. But not for us, he knew I was quiet, so it's no big deal, not like a man he too fussy. I smiled at the thought. I closed my eyes, as if floating in the air flying-order until I stop somewhere. Wherein when it is, I'm with him occupying a house and become a married couple with two children of men and women, our children inherit a small mouth, eyes narrowed, while others inherit my hallmark. I became a famous doctor, while he became a great novelist. It was amazing.... Until I was surprised that voice "hello! There are people there! ". Her face is now stuck on my chick, ready to land at my lips. I smiled, without flinching, even an inch. I'm the one who actually encouraged guts for hers is smooth and glossy. "What were you thinking?" He asked softly while stroking my hair. I paused for a moment ventured to explore his heart, "do you hear me?" I was silent for a moment and then I touched her finger to gently bring them up to base point landed softly on the lips. She smiled shyly up to be quiet without blinking, her lips and said nothing. "When a hearts finds another, what a cloud more or les in the sky? By wolf and page. Sure! If you know that "for some reason I want to say that sentence, that sentence I remember at one article I read romantic stories.”Absolutely!" He said. I'm sure he knows what I mean. My heart is happy, but a small part I will start to feel sadness. Month of December has begun to be passed, and only a few days for us to enjoy together. "I love you" she whispered tenderly. "I still!" I replied. My heart is sad with the answer myself; I feel what he feels very heavy. I know he loved me, and I will know if he too felt the same. It's just that I'm reluctant to say much brighter again. About me as if to hide his grief, he too clutched my hand and threw him off a high to leave, go take a piece of tissue that is in his bag. Now she closed her ears with her walkman headphones, a cassette's the best of bon jovi always make her comfort with faithfully. Then just go past me as he pulled his travel bag. I grabbed his wrist, stopped momentarily step "sorry!" I said. Only a while ago when it went forward a step her lips saying "I know what you are". I paused, then following the steps to bring the rest of the travel bag that was left behind. Only just wanted to get some fresh air production of my brain, I grabbed a glass of mineral water which was packed in a bottle. I drank while walking, I grabbed my Nikon just above the table near the door, I knew he was angry and I know he's aware of his disappointment that one. We both just committed that December this year there should be no long explanations in the future, we just enjoy it ...
My cell phone vibrates when he sends me messages wait in the lobby, it took me a minute. I walked from the room before I say goodbye to this room is good bye. I waited in the lobby bar and lounge, ordered two bloody marry. I lay down my body for a moment. I'm looking for my diary from my backpack. Until I found her neatly trimmed with a silent parker.
I'm very sorry for what had I said to him today. It's just that I can not explain in details fatherly, I'm afraid the destiny of our carvings
I love you and really need you D
Half an hour had he left me alone until he found me sit back while waiting in the lobby area. Now his face was again bright with no clouds blocked. Lively pace is radiated, a nice smile, his eyes no longer red. Able to sweep his hand on my shoulder makes me shiver amazed. I held my strong emotion until she said that my smile melts intimate that no longer pale. "Hyo, now on go? Sorry I made you wait a long time, "she explained. she returned to replace all the clothes he was wearing. Whether intentionally or not what she was wearing a blue suit with matching velvet hem me. "How do I look?" He asked. Of course she's very attractive, sexy, elegant and very challenging. Her eyes were sharp ready to launch an arrow right in the heart of my heart. Just on its axis. She took a glass of bloody marry; it looks like he had already drunk a drop of light before he drank the drink. Then sit quietly by hanging his right foot is resting on his left leg, a black skirt that use on her knee, kept away from the rim lip. Like to say something. But she seemed so she left own. This time I just took a deep breath before answering the question. "Hmmmm ... interesting!", He achieved the glass again, now no longer sharp eyes looking at me, I threw in my face a little. In order for this embarrassment is not up to me again. It's a difficult thing when I had to pretend to look away from her temple. I stood before him when I see the glass empty. Straightened my clothes, maybe she was familiar with the code movements. Until she’s too followed up. "Now," he asked with a teasing smile. I smiled "do you still want any longer?" I asked him searchingly. In my heart, full of hope that he answered my question with the word YES enthusiastically. Unfortunately he did not want to answer, smile only which she described to casually walked ahead of me. A bellhop approached him and greeted him, unfortunately he was too proud to pretend to ignore the man's temple. Now turn it up to bellhop, helped carry our luggage to the taxi that seemed to be ready to take us to the airport Ngurah Rai.
I held her hand tightly, it did not want to let go even for the single moment. Not for the moment, my thoughts returned suddenly clouded thinking. Full of anxiety, difficulty I described fatherly. My love for her could not go out, the longer the burst of happiness that I felt was a never-ending. I almost could not concentrate. I did not notice when he was enjoying our trip, I heard no voice other than his voice, until I realized that she was invited to speak.
"Bali enjoys nature," she asked confidently without looking into my eyes
"Does it say?" I asked with a slightly hedged
we smiled at each other, mutual eye contact and mutual to grabbing our hands. Just like electric shock, my hands stiffened, froze my blood, "I like that!" smiling. Her eyes were sharp stab. Really felt like I reached for her lips and kissed, but no ... it's not me. I'm not that hungry man with lust. All I did was touch her cheeks were flushed. Now changed her burning shame, blushing like a crab boil.
When I noticed from the glass, the driver's glance, we noticed a little. Just stole a glance only. But I ignored, it is not important to me in this session. I closed my eyes fatherly few seconds, just looking for inspiration about what to re-dedicate to him. My Desember should not be confused, not to second. One second will affect the chaotic minutes and then hours to days or even months, and I do not want to master my DECEMBER destroyed just like that. "I can not keep my eyes of you!" He continued. "I got feeling to jumping! I want you. Every time I look at you my heart is jumping ". Trying to describe her as clearly as possible. And it was very successful in reducing the burden of her feelings. I watched her face back, I realized behind her blue, eyes that are now a little overcast and rain. I grabbed her shoulder immediately to hug and kiss her hair "it’s gone be all right everything".
Our taxi ride has now stopped in front of the airport, "is to aim the pack!" babbling. She let go of my arms. I'm sorry, "yah. Thank you for helping us! "I reached taxi metered to pay bills. The driver rose before us out of his taxi, disclaim the door to my beloved. Then help out our belongings, which were not too many "let it go, we can take him alone!" He too get away with a smile full of civility and left us.
We both go hand in hand, only silent without a word came out. Just spread the views of the people around it. Keep walking and walking pace. Now he is ahead of pace with fast motion. Let her ahead of me. Although I feel a little uncomfortable when she does not run along my side. "What do you pilot it?" I asked with exasperation with the tone a little scream. She turned towards me "do you still want to fly with pilots like me?" she asked, turning with a smile. I'm glad to see her smile, keep pace chased without hesitation "any profession, I will do what you command even lives at stake!" I said seriously. Unfortunately, he just laughed heartily, turned to me with his body turned. Then stopped, waiting for me to her and said "your father's will be useless to send you at Nippon far away when the sentence was stupid". Words that stabbed me, she did not directly insult me like dumb people and stupid person, ignorant or another phrase that means matching. But I know what he meant, although he did not want to directly realize what the meaning of the sentence that was spoken. "Never mind no longer have to be discussed, the plane was waiting for us!" I said curtly. But he's still laughing and smiling like a monkey who just had a banana from zoo visitors. "Damn it!” I was a little angry with her, but really I can not express it. "Need ice cube!" she continued, "... no thanks!" I stopped when we got back into the aircraft cabin. She chose to sit near candela planes without closing the glass, letting his eyes staring at the clouds and clouds of hot sun. I put my dark glasses, seemed reluctant to ban it, but it made my eyes dazzled. It seems he deliberately made uncomfortable this time. Our next destination is the airport of Yogyakarta Adi Sucipta. I grabbed her hand again, she did not move. And it turns out when I noticed his eyes were closed. Influence drowsiness, sleepiness or whatever that he was asleep because his bloody marry. I kissed her cheek; I felt a remarkable thing when I touched her skin a few inches. My instincts as a man strong enough influence me, raging in my chest feeling immense view peacefully. My head seemed to boil this vibrant soul. No, I do not want to let my soul just lost. I still have a moral though not an angel, I do not want to be a man who bleeding of the sin even though I realize that I was not so sacred. My black helps capture the look in his eyes so as not to penetrate the spirit who adored her, but unfortunately when he woke up he smiled and turned to me. It's sharp eyes could barely burn coating my sun glasses. The light was so powerful enough to destroy my heart work. I gift beautiful smile for her "go to sleep, we have not reached. When it will wake up to the airport! "I suggest a little embarrassed argued when looking at her. Ahhh ... she knows how it made me even more nervous. Now, her head resting on my right shoulder is enough to make a sudden heart attack. I paused to sit still, even though I was given life by God. "I'm just a little dizzy, probably due to drink that?" she explained that it still can not make me withdraw my blood is frozen. Her neck after held to move right and left. When I touched his neck, the muscles felt stiff "like you're too tired of this journey?" I said. He just shook his head did not want to disappoint. My eyes could not see the nape of his neck is covered with fine hair. Sexy enough and made me shudder. Oh god big test of what else will you give me. She is more visible when the hair is long sexy become roll style very granted. Simple but sexy think. Her hair is black and shiny it seemed be witch bolder, more demanding for the stroked tenderly. I reached up to regain little nape of his neck, but I refuse. "Why are you wearing sunglasses?" she asked. "I'm dazzled!" I replied .closed window from sun lightning plane. "Sorry why not you said so?" she asked, curious. "Coz you do not ask me". I said solid.
Arriving at Adi Sucipta air port, we did not directly looking for a taxi, or calling my family, we went to a restaurant that was near the airport, chatting and just to look for free air. We intentionally chose a table close to the candela. There were no heavy meals that we ordered, only two cups of coffee double espresso. I put the glasses on the table on the right precision. Another pause is our custom at this time. Until my phone rang again. My hands were busy looking around my coat bag. He gives you the freedom when it saw me never to answer the phone.
"I go to the toilet for a while?" She said as she left the table we walked to the end of the restaurant building
My cell phone is now back to stop calling me a fatherly second time. I feel reluctant to accept, so I can let this haunting sense of disgust. Telephone three times, four times the telephone. I didn’t care. I noticed when the screen back tones the sound that changed the tone.
"Hyo, this is your daddy ... why did not immediately lift it!"
"The last number of others, that’s not his number?" I said, because it had been a number of his wife.
"What you've to Yogya?"
"Well, half an hour ago?"
"What you'll bring home daughter grandparent?"
"I don’t know, I have not asked whether he would approve it or not, but I have anyone to book a hotel when he was not pleased!"
"Yes it is, Dad just wanted to make sure that you survive till the goal, papa let you know when you've decided about where, because Laksmi is calm, the way you guys!"
I was uncomfortable hearing his wife, I do not pretend like it when he notices me, I'm not his, and that women should not be exaggerated. I do not want attention from him at all. I was silent for a long time though daddy was still talking. Now he came back, I noticed his pace, captivating smile up until just sit in front of me.
"OK Dad, I'll call later!"
I closed our conversation just like that, without bla…bla…bla. I grabbed my coffee cup, to attempt my angry away from him.
"Papa?" She asked curious
"Yes, She’s just asked me if I've brought you up in peace!" I tell her without describing too much
"Ohh! - Was your dad like me?"
"Of course, no one would dare to refuse me to take you!"
she was silent, just staring at me; die and then his legs stretched out her hand to grab my hands are ready on the table.
"Whether he will accept me?" The question of doubt me and certainty of the answer. I smiled, I knew he was afraid of fatherly met an old woman who had summoned the women's grandparent.
"Of course, I've told him all about you. Believe everything is cooked arrange cook, no doubt you need. Already say it from the beginning. All have been ordered arrange all, I just need your approval only. And the other open issues "as forcefully as I explain maybe I’m, afraid if she had forgotten everything I had ever uttered.
"Okay, I'm willing to take you at my grandma home!" She said circuitry smile and confidence that made me even more in love with him.
I only send a message to Dad that we would stay at home daughter grandparent. Sastro been sending me messages, so we waited in front of the airport, half an hour he will come pick us up.
"You know, grandparent daughter will love you for sure, long black hair that will enchant hospitality, plus another one. You're wearing a blue color which is also highly preferred. Especially the clothes we wear this color matching. So romantic impression will stick! "I said with deep smiling. Rotating her neck reflexes turned to me again after being turned away. Gosh I'm almost afraid if her head would drop out, because she's so fast rotating hinge head. "Gosh!" She cried loud "as not realize if we dress the same! Really, I did not realize it? "She explained cash. I pulled in regardless of the breath in his eye contact. "You can not sympathize at all!" I said. She too pinched my hand which will grimly clench his words. She knew little that I’m little angry. But in the end she could always make me to smile back. "This is a two-time I come to Yogya?”I said. I smiled to hear back expands "since elementary school?" I said. "True" clean air is breathed in deeply. her face is shining; the hair was now backing to tease. I feel comfortable, when she close nape of she neck that was sexy. I'm no longer surprised he made. "What we picked up?" she asked. "Sastro will pick us up! Just Moment." I reached back double espresso. "I can not spend it?" she clear while my eyes watched the cup is still full. Her face was slightly pale, I'm afraid he's tired so I pulled it espresso cup so he does not push yourself back fatherly sip. It's not a big deal for me if he did not drink it. But this seems to mean the opposite to her, she felt I would be sad if he does not spend what I have order it. "Do not drink; I do not want you sick? Do not confuse our December! Please "I asked hopefully. And she too understands how to behave to me.
As I'm sure the coming Sastro, soon may I take her out of the restaurant? This time, course of a little sluggish and not as fast as usual. I was worried about her, his hands cold. I watched her until she realized my lips a little sullen. "Lighten up, I'm healthy! Only a few nervous it! "She said with a smile. That bit made me calm, worry no longer covers me. ".. Prince…prince... Nice!" Knows where the origin of the call, I feel there is someone called me and I know the distinctive sound and intonation her accent. "... Prince, prince… good. It’s me Prince Sastro Sastro. Here Prince….I’m here! "She said.” Sastro that’s her name?" she asked, and I just nodded as she looked around the airport looking for Sastro face. She too helped me, even though only figure out a way Sastro thought that had never seen. She pulled my hand pulling, pointing in one direction where the sound I'm looking to have the same figure with the object that he showed "that the father may be named SATRO are you looking for now?" she explained, I turned around and immediately pulled it. Like Sastro us closer towards each other when our eyes fell. Sastro ran up to us, until it nearly fell off due to slippery floors. "OH…MY GOSH ...!" she complained. We both laughed ringing though he spontaneously said "astaghfirllah". I smiled, turned to find her, kiss her cheek again can I achieve that quickly. Although shocked to react, in the end he too smiled resignedly accept my kisses. "Come on Princes, may I help you, I’m parked my car not far from the front of the airport really. Come on prince, princess, come on? "Sastro invite us. I used to call which means Raden. But it seems that D is not unusual when she called beauty princess by Sastro, her face a little surprised and uncomfortable. I'm just trying to create comfort with a soft touch at her back. She frowned at me, just a smile that could I tell her. We race to following Sastro the first leg running fast ahead of us, perhaps Sastro own discomfort when walking with me, afraid that if I was annoyed. I like the idea Sastro this time, she usually walked right beside me as just learning to walk like a baby, just in case only just afraid if I would fall and feel difficulty if you want to get up. I accompanied my stride step along with the winning smile. Because eighty percent of my plan been running perfectly and now I just need to deliver it to twenty percent of its finishing touch. And we will definitely happy ending, to be served until whenever these memories etched in our hearts, respectively. As well as the sparkling emerald with sculptured ornaments of pure yellow gold. I really enjoy the patient without ending. I must admit feeling sad even start clung to me. Because the date we wanted after a few days. "Prince….that’s the car?" Clear Sastro is turned towards the back, showing his hand just put a mark on us, that the car that will get us very comfortable. Yeah grandparents lend a white Volvo over shiny to pick me up. I smiled at this little speech, because the grand mom never let his white Volvo Sastro taken to the airport alone. "Where Tejo," I "Tejo, incoming den angina, vomiting, vomiting, night patrols catch a chicken thief!" Explains Sastro giggle. D just stopped listening to us; only now and then he smiled even though eventually he was laughing to hear Tejo catch a chicken thief. Well I know he knowingly Surabaya no chicken thief, the thief no hardware. "Princess, would you like to be picked up if using Volvo cars than other though Mercedes. Just because Prince more loves Volvo than other cars, so…Mistress Releases the steering wheel for me… Prince. But so yes, continue the discourse, and I’m understood when a new…. Princes, would be hit Mistress Cars. Understandably Prince, my feet pressed against the brake no long for her! "Said a buoyant, Sastro passionate. D smiled even begin to burst out laughing when saw me laughing out loud just like that without hesitation. "Princess, sorry, I'm so embarrassed!" Explained Sastro with a smile. "Sorry sir I do not have bad intentions?" He explained. "Whoa… prince, what did you said for me? Coolies? FE really I don’t understand!" Sastro seem to act dumb to understand what he says. And D seemed relieved to hear that. Now Sastro opened the trunk put our luggage one by one. I let the car for him, so that the sun is no longer dilute sweat. "Go first, I wanted to accompany Sastro!" I explained, he understood and nodded. I glanced at him quickly opened his fatherly take back the novel he had just read last night. Just a smile of relief, that everything is under control. "Just go have a nice Princess till I’m back! I'm still strong for take this bag! "He said with a lie. My eyes caught the left hand is busy holding his hips, grimacing heavy lifting. Without a word, I do have just picked up this trolley bag. Its contents are tough because there is a laptop, textbook of medicine as well as some medical journals owned by the college. Sastro feel happy when I'm desperate to help her. Maybe he understood that if I did not work she lied. "Woahhh Raden is a great doctor, though I can understand the pain has not been checked!" she explained connect sentences. "I am not doctor, still a student!" I explained. Now she walked around before me and opened the car door for me. I just shook my head and smile for granted. When Sastro entry and steering wheel control without I tell him, sure he already knows where the goal first before getting to the residence of the grandparent's daughter. He still does not really bother me. That notoriety when it is the temple of love temple with novel collection. He created the world could never be disturbed. But not this time, because I was determined to pull the book and then forced her to return to enjoy my hospitality. I put a smiling face when he gets angry when her novel pulled away. Pride is created, only the heavy breathing that had taken out. Her lips pursed like a typical sharp like the rice cooker the ancient village, "come on!" I say that he was not too upset. "I just want us to just enjoy the time without wasting time there. That's all! ". What a sweet smile when she does it, my heart almost no trace lulu destroyed as wind-blown dust. Smooth hand grabbed my left cheek; smiling at each other full of meaning we understand each other without the slightest falsehood. I grabbed his shoulder, tight hug. My honor almost lost his eye. The fire burning in her body to ready my stronger. My logic such as missing a moment. Ohhh.... how much weight when adjacent to it when I'm wearing a mask of arrogance. My knee like a twitch, muscle nerves seemed almost lost. As her eyes sharp very lighten. The wind seemed to whisper that I might rekindle the flame of excitement more typical of the Adam, but any ... no I can’t. I shouted to myself. "Hmmm ... I'm so thirsty!" I choked when my neck started to shyness and unstoppable passion. Her hands immediately searched the prada bag. Gave me a bottle of sparkling water. I looked at the bottle attached to the line of her lips romantic pink autumn. My eyes are getting tempted; my mind wandered a lot naughtier. Oh God, let alone this temptation. This is the test of the limit I cried almost silently uttered softly. "What did you say?’He asked shocked tone. I just realized my careless silent and shook her head. The car that we rode still running a little faster, her face is now completely turning away from me watching every road, every now and then he smiled. It's just that I do not know what the meaning of her smile. And what he described what he imagined. I shudder to think when he laughed at me heavily. We fell silent again, again I grabbed my notes
diary
I must admit I was selfish man. I admit I was very fascinated with the creatures of God who now sat in front.
I do not know what to do less. My head have a dead end. Her love is witching me. But education sues me, as a man of science is a priority basis to seek popularity, the economy.
Something is lost when she is not my side
Can not life without her....
"What are you writing?" she asked suddenly, startling me even though I'm really not too much too stunned.
"No, just a daily record of mediocrity? Do you also have it? "
"Diary? No! "
"Why? Well I know, your activity not be enough when written every day, it takes much time. Fingers can be separated from her ribs! "
We laughed, holding her hand and fist to hit it on my stomach. But I don’t fell sickness, because her smile is the cure of my pain. I’m back save my notes in my laptop bag. Sastro stop the car we were riding at boutique family subscription rate. Sastro asked to accompany him in the car alone. "Wait here, I will not be long?" I left with Sastro; alone I will walk into the boutique. I read the sign that flower beautiful boutiques, apparently his name is still the same, through the glass door there is a middle-aged man greeted me with smiles, leaves the door open for me. I do not know, maybe he's new. This boutique turns out a lot re building; the floor was transformed into wooden mahogany colored wood floors, white walls ivory, various types of growing flowers adorn this boutique. More beautifully than it already entered the room. To following my feet deep, a collection of more flowers, fragrant aroma filled the air scatter. A lithe young woman greeted me now "sugeng rawuh!" She said softly that shall mean good dating. I smiled, and then spread every angle of view; to talk conscious elderly woman who wore a kebaya was sitting in front of the counter watching as the young woman involved do wrote greeted balls. I deliberately did not pay attention to them even though they were watching me. Maybe they do not know me, but I know their names, respectively. I took the orchid and then handed to a woman named Pure "Pure Ms. coupled please me bouquets of white roses are blooming and the contract plus a few stalks of orchids like this". She seemed surprised when I called her name, he too smiled wider sign of her being happy. Or so it thought. He took me out of the boutique into a beautiful garden with a variety of large barrel-shaped vase filled with genius collection of orchids. "Mr.… blossoms for whom?" she asked. "I need three bouquets for three women. Please choose for me. A bouquet of white roses full of blooms and buds, please combine with purple orchids for my late mother gave white to the cord.... hemmmm ... One more please bouquet orchid bouquet, not too much, because he does not like. That one please, more loves purple ribbon that’s my girls’ friends’ favorite color. And a bouquet of more fatherly love that now I'm sitting in cars. Fatherly her, a bouquet of red roses with red ribbon. I'll wait in the hall, looking seeing! ". I leave it, not much is bus I’m care other than interest. Until I forced myself to sit amid the park, reading a paper, prepared at the news pepper .I is not waiting for pure flower arrangements. But I have to wait.
She send message for me.
Do you still long? If I want to be with you in
I read it with a smile you're obviously love I’m babble with my self. She must be to accompany me. No long dating he too met with no trouble at all. "What do you want going to cemetery directly," she asked while taking a seat be side me and interesting paper was read. The paper folded four part .she put on my chair form the existing adjoining empty. "Yes! The fire I'll take you first to take a break! "I said. She combed her hair with her fingers. A gust of wind swept her hair towards the face. The smell is distinctive fragrant shampoo she was wearing. "What you will not let me when I come!" He asked doubtfully. The question sounded very skeptical, afraid if I do not think in rhythm with him. "Of course not. I really appreciate it, thank you! ". I'm glad to hear it. "Wait here, I'm going over to him, like he had done it!" Pure I let my legs that are ready to meet with three bouquets of flowers. One handed me a long note. I demanded to be paid wages in accordance with existing bill in the memorandum. "Mr. Here next to his signature" finger directed to affix my signature in the correct place. The cashier smiled at me. "This great grandson Mistress Paramitha ayu" he asked with a tone typical of fine Yogya. "Well, not really my grandson is in Surabaya," I answered. She laughed, patting my left shoulder, and squeezed squeeze my arm. "Oh my God son is a big yes! Said Mistress. Aden schools in Japan. What has been passed to den? "She asked curiously. I smiled, not expecting much when the grandparent's daughter story and this close to him. "Ohhh .... Yet mom, still a same holiday to visit my grandparent ". She further called for pure giggling calling to want greeted. I know if the new Pure is his son and an old man who opened the door for me was her husband. Boring once I got stuck like this, like I ended immediately. But unfortunately she fussy continues as the pace of the train. "Sorry Prince, come on brought his bill, look at her prince very beauty is likely to wait patiently!" D her eyes glance; sitting garden faces tilted back against the chair, her long dangling toward the grass. She’s like sitting fatigue. "Well, we’re just vacation from Bali, mom so sorry I'm in a hurry!" I said. She too invited me to go see him with some bouquet flower. I’m back to reached out to shake them all. Now I'm back to see who has closed his eyes. Slightly blackened eyelids. I let her own heart sank a little. I put a bouquet of roses to her cheeks. Appear to look surprised though ultimately smiled "for me!’ She asked. "Of course, as pretty as you? I'm done; we can rest now "I replied. Note that I brought a bouquet of flowers. "Relax darling, course of this orchid's grandparents, and this rose to mama. So we move on cemetery later before Ashar. The place really near. And for the interest can I put in the chiller ". Looks like she's smiling with a relief listen my explanation. He kissed over and over again that I have given flowers. Now we return to travel. "Sas ... please exaggerated the coolant; I'm worried about the flowers wilting before reaching the owners!" I ordered the immediate Sastro turn the car cooler. Fifteen minutes later we were served until the grandparent's residence. Fence was open before us dating, the figure is still pretty old lady was waiting for us complete with traditional Javanese dress. A batik-style folding fan folded his right hand. When we opened the car door, grandparent was smiling broadly at us. The steps that seemed hurried down the porch steps while carrying a little kebaya special java clothes hurry that she was wearing. "Oh my grand son ... a long time coming," he yelled to me that immediately hugged me, I really miss him. I like seeing mommy's face painting her soul huge closely attached to my heart almost stop motion. "Sastro please bring bags into the room, let me be straight breaks, the wife told her lunch, Parmin, please ya all warm water, and have also come here for a while. Look at this, here you are beauty dating any of my grandchildren, "he said on the first Sastro will know of our arrival." yes master ... sure. Nice added plus Den handsome white plaster added Caucasians, master her looks so pretty right. Beautiful! "Clear that overflowed overflowing Sastro make grandparent turned his attention back to D and still bowed and smiled. Ohh ... Sastro, her face embarrassment at the compliment. "I told him the girl a month ago grandparent!" I whispered softly. "she is very beauty " she said softly, kissing her grandparents that I gave orchids to her, follow the steps they are face to face closer to her .Now her face still looks calm and silent even though he knew if his figure grandparents have been observed. her Spontaneous hand get grandparents to hand kissed "are you Desy ?" Ask grandparents strings attached. "Yes mom!" she said a little clumsy. "Call it the same as your lover, grandparent!" Gosh whole life he had never called me that. It must be immediately flexed his tongue when calling this title. “come on girls let's go, let's go darling" my grandparents on her hospitality us with hugs. The three of us walked into the main house. The house is old, but I like it, perhaps she too would prefer. She's a typical love the uniqueness of the ancients. Our eyes met grandparents behind his back, smiling at each other heart to give shade. We sit and chat in the terrace house in JOGLO. This is where the family used to meet and relax; grandparents really have all ready prepare our arrival. I look on the table there have been several last two editions of the magazine's favorite cosmopolitan D. beside magazine, there was a newspaper Tribune Indonesia and media favorite. Grandmother smiled, understood by what I saw. Deliberately left them both fatherly more talk freely. I pretend the car is about to take a laptop bag. This was deliberately left for some of the reasons. With current condition. I also went straight to my room after all the business settled. Her room was neat. Ambipur smell of lavender was ejected together with the air. I look out on large window at the end of the room. One large room that has never been open fatherly anyone now clean in each corner. I looked closely, I noticed that every movement Parmin wife Yati, I know for whom the room was decorated. I pull my feet into the room. Its location is a little too much about forty feet from the other side of my room. Only separates the swimming pool to our room. Grandmother was right what do I want to know. When I went into the design room joglo Javanese art is very thick. That door a made of teak wood is intact. Also with pillars. Two large windows that flank the two-leaved door closed the left side. When the entrance was greeted first Yati "welcome Prince!" She said while stopping his work. I smiled "why grandparent giving out the room for her mama!" I asked him searchingly. "Sorry prince. Cumin since I ordered last week that net. But God willing not room really haunted den! "Full explanations full worry.”That's not what I mean! Because my daddy and his wife never can’t sleeping in this room since they were married". We are silent; I will watch every corner of the room to spread the view. "Yati please replace it with a new rose flower yes, the water is not too much though not cool, long add a blanket that is not patterned batik and if can be purple or blue, or a mix is fine". Yati turned and nodded pestle out of his room. I checked her bathroom that has now been replaced with a bath tub and shower in light blue. Towels and also a blue kimono hanging in the bathroom clean. Five minutes later Yati is back with all that I command. I helped set up the blanket. "Where was the remote ac?" I asked the Yati. When she turned on TV after opening the desk drawer and handed it to me. "This!" she said. "I've left here, and please bring a water jug of mineral water!" I said. But strangely her still in daydream corner of the door alone, and when I turned she ducked. "Yati… what are you waiting for?" I asked, wondering, fearing that I've done unintentionally rude. Grandmother can be furious at me. "I’m so sorry prince, what did you said, coolies, I don’t hear it". Ahhh I know that is, of course she did not understand the sentence. Fault is in the choice of words when speaking as someone like Yati. "I mean ohh, help me to bring it some drink with a kettle of clean glass and mature from a fully equipped kitchen with a glass-legged". Looks like she knew I was upset, and then she too went straight without any new questions. It's hard having to talk to people who are not smart, always takes a lot of explanation so that he can understand it. Why are they too long on the terrace, what they talked about? Did my grandparents know that her eyelids are blackened? I grumbled it. No entirely up to the room I hear footsteps, but her daughter and grandparents have stood in the doorway watching me have made up bed. "Where is Yati? How come you are clearing alone! "Ask grandparents before him curious to leave the room.”Room was huge," she asked like a surprise. "What I myself go to sleep here? 'He asked again. Make me curious the cash and turned my head as soon as possible forced to think fast. What he asked me to accompany him fatherly? I asked myself. "What do you mean?" I asked, curious. She was still aware of his mistake. "Ehmmm ... no I mean, this room is too big for me, and I fear that the room alone I never knew." I'm sorry to hear that now sit like carrying heavy loads. "Take a bath first, I have prepared warm water in the bath tub, go wash up, I'm just afraid of him taped to phantom leak". He removed one at a flat shoe. Also opened her blouse buttons one by one in front of me without hesitation, only one button on it that has not been opened. Gosh he's like a tease. Her hair is now flowing strongly tied rolling up. "I will not calm front of you naked, I was wearing a tank top and hot pants!" she said, who seemed surprised to see me amazed wonder. Taken one suit into a full bathroom with underwear that had fallen right in front of my eyes. I did not hear clearly what she sang at a bath room, only a faint vague that I know. Yati-had already led a water jug with a water goblet and two cups of strawberry juice. My head was dizzy, I'm actually a little hungry, but there was no desire to fill my stomach. "You do not shower Hyo?" she yelled from inside. "What did you ask me a bath together?" I asked bluntly demanding hopeless though. I could hear was a loud laugh. "I came out D will wait for you over the kitchen table in an hour. "OK!" she said. After I made sure she was safe with this room, then returned my room, I pull my feet. Grandmother was waiting for me over the kitchen table, but I'm pretending to walk without notice.
I lay my body just above the bed, exhausted it. I took an aspirin tablet and then I drank a glass of water. I'm comfortable fatherly few minutes. But not, for the last fifteen minutes. My body felt sticky with sweat. So I loosen my belt, but still not make me comfortable. The last thing I did was go washing and sinking my body in bath tub full of warm water, which is sprinkle with half a small bottle of eucalyptus oil complete with aroma therapy sandal wood that he bought me when I was in Jakarta. I love this scent, very warm. I turned off the lights, just using sunlight coming through the wind breeze through the air. Reactions to aspirin starting to ease more relax. I tried to relax myself as much as possible. My mind is heavy. Already sending a message to your papa, when I was up since two hours ago. Papa will fly to see me about four days. That means I will meet with Lakshmi. And really it makes me sick. I threw away my cell phone over the pile of clothes that had been set them on the floor. I closed my eyes just to learn to calm down. Head sank into the water. I heard no sound but the sound is central music at home. Now turn the song's Michael Bolton how am I Supposed to life without you. I imagined a faraway look about him, to consider many things about him. My mind is cloudy when it is thinking about this. Selfishness still becoming kingdom in my mind, right now. But can love over me completely. Whatever I do to have it, just before I had a dream goal, I was reluctant to show too much fatherly. Can he wait for me? Could she love me? To be a honest this time and at any time until I was confident with my choice even though the sky is falling upon it. Suddenly I shivered to imagine something that could not be reached for me it would be miserable later. I immediately woke up from the water, take a deep breath, and look for books that I put down on a chair.
I'm glad my grandmother received her presence, that he blessed the woman berrati choice.
I love him, love him miss him. Arguably
although the sky falling, the seas dry up, the storm hit. My spirit will always be with him
she will lucky, later when she picked me as a husband
Because I'm sincere,
I love him unconditionally
I do not just love her body
But his spirit, his soul and his heart and mind
I wish one day she can read every book I write about it daily
I want her to understand and appreciate what, how a I loved
Exactly at two o'clock on Sunday night she walked slowly as she came to bring something for me. Only a small dessert plate containing the Opera cake with a red candle on top, happy birthday written on it Hyo blue velvet with a red cherry placed on the right side. Sweet, it was two hours ago she lost suddenly just to make me a little surprise around the hotel poolside. "Happy birthday" she said as she hugged and kissed both my cheeks, because I think there is one less kiss, then pulled back his arms and kissed the lips of the sweet little "thanks" I said. I took off my hands are smooth and he seemed to feel ashamed for having kissed. His left hand took the bag batik ever I gifted few years ago. I wonder what she was looking for, maybe lipstick. Because very long glossy, I thought at that time. But I was wrong; her right hand pulled out a box wrapped in blue velvet with a black ribbon to her handed her to me. I smiled to see his smile genuine. "I hope you like it" he smiled and smiled almost made me uncomfortable. "Eitss - wait a minute, close your eyes and blow this candle as a symbol it is only new, you should open the gift". "Okay," I said, taking a step forward after the cake was then quoted I closed my eyes as I prayed. Only a few seconds because all I ask in the same sentence as dense as possible "quick!" she said. "What are you asking?" she asked again. "Never mind, you'll know, but not now, so the secret!" I deliberately made him curious. "Come on-bit only!" she whined. "Later!" I said nonchalantly. I ate my first spoonful overall status for her. I know he likes opera just like me, for us opera and Sacker is the joy of our national cake is second to none. "Hyo-..! he called with his mouth still chewing, I pressed my finger in his mouth so silenced. In fact he ignores me. "Well take it easy, I would spend this cake, sorry!" I said to imitate the style when I'm pissed off at me. "Heh, it's not that, I mean what are you asking about?". Curiosity has not been extinguished as it were, to be back I assure. "Des-now-if I told you - certainly not a secret anymore unfortunately. You mean them know what is the meaning of SI A HA RA? “So she could bury her curiosity. I purposely do it, just to simply want to linger longer with him. We chatted with other topics, to drink that we ordered out and had to re-order it again. “apple juice" she replied when our waiter take the order, "do you have?" she asked me. I'm still looking for the right mix juice to enjoy. "How about taste when I’m mixing carrot watermelon and tomato!" she advised me. "Done! Carrot tomato mix plus water melon! "I explain to the waiter.”Two bottle sparkling water please!" she continued. Not long later our order arrived. We then went back to the opera that he bought me. I watched the blue velvet back presents, took and slowly opened the black ribbon that tied it, then I torn the pretty wrapping paper, so I can see what objects are given. Jeez - how surprised I was. I smiled to see it while watching, why he could escape from me, when he bought it for me? Is this a coincidence or deliberate? "Yah-yah I know you're confused. But clearly we buy the same place though not in the same way! "I was puzzled to hear his explanation, I still do not believe if he watches that give shape and color brand is retype to watch that I gave him a week ago. When used as a watch that we actually bought a pair. "You like it?" He asked. I did not realize when he said that until he returned to repeat the phrase the same question. "Hello ... anybody there?" She said, dessert spoon into his plate. "Yup ... I'm here and I love it. So much - it's pretty! Ohh awesome "I said half amazed and a little confusion. I tried to remember everything that night there was an exhibition of watches imported in Mulia Hotel Jakarta, as I recall we did not buy one item. All I know is the same as we love it and are eager to buy it, only then I think to buy a Hugo lady’s than the gentlemen, just because I do not like lavish fatherly myself. And just because she wanted so I gift her favorite design wristwatch for her. Commencing design just becoming new arrival on the market only in Asia and Singapore who has a marketing and service of office as Hugo Boss watch the time. Until I had to pretend pretending back to hotel rooms and the reason I was so tired that he would return. A couple hour after that, I bought new one at Bali exhibition. After consider, I smile back "when you bought it for me?" I asked her, she just covered her face with suppressed laughter. Shook her head and holding her stomach is slim. "Please say to me - please! When you buying for me. "I asked again. I try to calm down as much as possible, and set up disordered breathing really slowly. "Okay, I tell you, I know you like that watch, I know that, then I'll buy you already, but since you're in a hurry so I can not make decisions properly. Hence I will bring you home and since I saw you were a little pale, I think because you're exhausted by noon when we went to the national museum in independence. So as soon as I take you to the hotel room I hurried back to find that watch. Grateful that I can get it.-hehhe ... need you know I love it when you bought the lady’s type for me. Because I could get in "he replied enthusiastically with a remarkable expression as a man who had just won the lottery.”Hehhh - so now I just know, if women are referred to by the seller are you" I laughed out loud, not to play fraud that we are doing at the time, was only for each other happy. "D-did you know I'm very sad time because I can not get a pair ...-butt! Now I'm glad, because you're right he gave me for my birthday "I said.”This is too theatrical," he asked me "of course not, this is a good start to the equation of our hearts". I'm happy with everything I got. I know what price he bought for me, I knew he would have to drain the bag part for me. Course, this watch will I make it a symbol of love that he gave me until later. We have not bought a pair couple though. I just think, that our lives and tastes exactly the same except that we're not used to say. "I'm sorry I did not make for your party tonight, not as fancy as you gave me party that night!" She broke my heart "is not a big problem if that's all you think, because in fact, mostly just your whereabouts can turn the night of my birth!" I replied what it is. I hugged her tightly and closely, as if I did not want to release it. I stroked her hair from covering her face, without shame she too dropped her head on my shoulder say "do you still love me?” She questioned why, does she know that I chaotic "and yes I still love you so much?” She smiled a little without looking at me. "Why only a December?” Immediately the question back at me, and I just huge her close more tightly than ever before "D – I do not mean to quit playing game your heart, but this is all for our favor, believe me I love you so much. It's just that I can not hold you in a long distance relationship that interferes with the harmony of our live respectively. Believe that one day I'll prove everything I have spoken. Name as the inscription is engraved in my heart "I still dare to immerse them without say it more. I have no other man the bus liar bleak, I know I hurt her, but this is for the good of the future. I do not want to pursue disturbed in dust. Only sounds selfish, but I should be able to choose which is most important. For me after December – a medical degree, wish I achieve, not the woman or the other. I looked into her eyes are dimmed it was overcast, and it seems like it's eyelids are no longer able to stem the tears that would embankment blow it. I hugged her back tightly, I kissed her long and delicate, tenderly kissed her shoulder. Unfortunately this had no effect. "D trust me - trust me what you saw before it's just a beginning for our future. My love will show you everything. I love you love me take this gift and do not ever ask Why? ". I thought to myself how selfish I was, to throw the girl who I love very. But really I had to, I'm not a guy who likes to think the fork, I could never draw the dividing love and dust. So I decided to put my dream goal in number one and number two in her love for him alone. I turned on my list play piano and flute with smooth jazz by Dave kozz I take her to dance even now we are looks like mad freaks who are swayed around the swimming pool at two o'clock in the morning. "Dance with me-please" I put my right hand I grabbed the nape of my neck, I put my hands to lean on her hips. "Blue session?" her attacked when lay on my chest. "Yah!" I said simply. Oh the world.... Why can not I kill her love in my life, whether I was created from a rib? Since then I am promised for myself if I will always love her, I will not go on living spree without her. At morning day I could barely sleep when not with the help of medication. My head was dizzy, so must swallow several times a day aspirin. All my guilt has been poured in my diary, there's no place other than on God's outpouring of my heart and my emotions diary is the right place for me to overflow. Why is my life like this, why the price myself could never offer, why am I against my father's wife, why - why? Why? Because I had to leave her was all my happiness, because my self-esteem. Did I have sin my Lord? Of course I'm innocent, I know, but I could not help but be disappointed when served until you failed, I could hear the laughing happiness defeats and shortcomings. December Sorry if this feeling must be sacrificed, but believe me I love you more than myself, I was never able to contain her miss when away from you, I hope someday you understand what I have done circuitry and fight for today. My Diary ... let that one day you read it.
A day later I helped him some fatherly packing your exit that have not delivered the laundry room service. "Let me to calling room service department, let them wash it?" Until you hear the call room service I will leave the door open when he was busy tidying up the jewelry that she carries. "Entry, let me check first?”I explain to the employees of the hotel." please sir! "he patiently waited to hear when I'm researching things." OK! Thanks "I said while entrusted money as tips when I shake his hands as he was about to shut the door. she smiled when he saw me carrying clothes that had just delivered room service. "Thank God!" Came the reply is then folded clothes in a travel bag. "Take not your time, - we still have five hours to till the airport, after all, Bali is not as dense Surabaya and Jakarta." she turned slightly, then took the my clothes from yesterday so I put it on the floor without a chance to fold back. "Ohhh, you or the room service to fix it," I teased, sure I know if she is to pair some button apart. Early morning she sewed for me, just because they do not want to disturb my sleep, she too sews my shirt with only minimal lighting night light, until the needle punctured repeatedly consequences. "Yes," she said, furious without going to explain what he actually did. He deliberately let to justify what I said. "Stupid" I hissed quietly. "Why is your finger?" I asked, annoyed, even though I already know what causes it. I ask because until last second she did not want to tell me everything that happened. She seems happy and satisfied to see, I upset, she was hard to discern. I must admit though sometimes he is annoying but he can always make more pounding rhythm of my heart, my life seemed more remarkable than the feeling of living without it. We are still in the sitting room together and take a breath together. This long sofa our lap so we felt really comfortable. Sitting without chatter seemed impressed as stiff as people who are noisy. But not for us, he knew I was quiet, so it's no big deal, not like a man he too fussy. I smiled at the thought. I closed my eyes, as if floating in the air flying-order until I stop somewhere. Wherein when it is, I'm with him occupying a house and become a married couple with two children of men and women, our children inherit a small mouth, eyes narrowed, while others inherit my hallmark. I became a famous doctor, while he became a great novelist. It was amazing.... Until I was surprised that voice "hello! There are people there! ". Her face is now stuck on my chick, ready to land at my lips. I smiled, without flinching, even an inch. I'm the one who actually encouraged guts for hers is smooth and glossy. "What were you thinking?" He asked softly while stroking my hair. I paused for a moment ventured to explore his heart, "do you hear me?" I was silent for a moment and then I touched her finger to gently bring them up to base point landed softly on the lips. She smiled shyly up to be quiet without blinking, her lips and said nothing. "When a hearts finds another, what a cloud more or les in the sky? By wolf and page. Sure! If you know that "for some reason I want to say that sentence, that sentence I remember at one article I read romantic stories.”Absolutely!" He said. I'm sure he knows what I mean. My heart is happy, but a small part I will start to feel sadness. Month of December has begun to be passed, and only a few days for us to enjoy together. "I love you" she whispered tenderly. "I still!" I replied. My heart is sad with the answer myself; I feel what he feels very heavy. I know he loved me, and I will know if he too felt the same. It's just that I'm reluctant to say much brighter again. About me as if to hide his grief, he too clutched my hand and threw him off a high to leave, go take a piece of tissue that is in his bag. Now she closed her ears with her walkman headphones, a cassette's the best of bon jovi always make her comfort with faithfully. Then just go past me as he pulled his travel bag. I grabbed his wrist, stopped momentarily step "sorry!" I said. Only a while ago when it went forward a step her lips saying "I know what you are". I paused, then following the steps to bring the rest of the travel bag that was left behind. Only just wanted to get some fresh air production of my brain, I grabbed a glass of mineral water which was packed in a bottle. I drank while walking, I grabbed my Nikon just above the table near the door, I knew he was angry and I know he's aware of his disappointment that one. We both just committed that December this year there should be no long explanations in the future, we just enjoy it ...
My cell phone vibrates when he sends me messages wait in the lobby, it took me a minute. I walked from the room before I say goodbye to this room is good bye. I waited in the lobby bar and lounge, ordered two bloody marry. I lay down my body for a moment. I'm looking for my diary from my backpack. Until I found her neatly trimmed with a silent parker.
I'm very sorry for what had I said to him today. It's just that I can not explain in details fatherly, I'm afraid the destiny of our carvings
I love you and really need you D
Half an hour had he left me alone until he found me sit back while waiting in the lobby area. Now his face was again bright with no clouds blocked. Lively pace is radiated, a nice smile, his eyes no longer red. Able to sweep his hand on my shoulder makes me shiver amazed. I held my strong emotion until she said that my smile melts intimate that no longer pale. "Hyo, now on go? Sorry I made you wait a long time, "she explained. she returned to replace all the clothes he was wearing. Whether intentionally or not what she was wearing a blue suit with matching velvet hem me. "How do I look?" He asked. Of course she's very attractive, sexy, elegant and very challenging. Her eyes were sharp ready to launch an arrow right in the heart of my heart. Just on its axis. She took a glass of bloody marry; it looks like he had already drunk a drop of light before he drank the drink. Then sit quietly by hanging his right foot is resting on his left leg, a black skirt that use on her knee, kept away from the rim lip. Like to say something. But she seemed so she left own. This time I just took a deep breath before answering the question. "Hmmmm ... interesting!", He achieved the glass again, now no longer sharp eyes looking at me, I threw in my face a little. In order for this embarrassment is not up to me again. It's a difficult thing when I had to pretend to look away from her temple. I stood before him when I see the glass empty. Straightened my clothes, maybe she was familiar with the code movements. Until she’s too followed up. "Now," he asked with a teasing smile. I smiled "do you still want any longer?" I asked him searchingly. In my heart, full of hope that he answered my question with the word YES enthusiastically. Unfortunately he did not want to answer, smile only which she described to casually walked ahead of me. A bellhop approached him and greeted him, unfortunately he was too proud to pretend to ignore the man's temple. Now turn it up to bellhop, helped carry our luggage to the taxi that seemed to be ready to take us to the airport Ngurah Rai.
I held her hand tightly, it did not want to let go even for the single moment. Not for the moment, my thoughts returned suddenly clouded thinking. Full of anxiety, difficulty I described fatherly. My love for her could not go out, the longer the burst of happiness that I felt was a never-ending. I almost could not concentrate. I did not notice when he was enjoying our trip, I heard no voice other than his voice, until I realized that she was invited to speak.
"Bali enjoys nature," she asked confidently without looking into my eyes
"Does it say?" I asked with a slightly hedged
we smiled at each other, mutual eye contact and mutual to grabbing our hands. Just like electric shock, my hands stiffened, froze my blood, "I like that!" smiling. Her eyes were sharp stab. Really felt like I reached for her lips and kissed, but no ... it's not me. I'm not that hungry man with lust. All I did was touch her cheeks were flushed. Now changed her burning shame, blushing like a crab boil.
When I noticed from the glass, the driver's glance, we noticed a little. Just stole a glance only. But I ignored, it is not important to me in this session. I closed my eyes fatherly few seconds, just looking for inspiration about what to re-dedicate to him. My Desember should not be confused, not to second. One second will affect the chaotic minutes and then hours to days or even months, and I do not want to master my DECEMBER destroyed just like that. "I can not keep my eyes of you!" He continued. "I got feeling to jumping! I want you. Every time I look at you my heart is jumping ". Trying to describe her as clearly as possible. And it was very successful in reducing the burden of her feelings. I watched her face back, I realized behind her blue, eyes that are now a little overcast and rain. I grabbed her shoulder immediately to hug and kiss her hair "it’s gone be all right everything".
Our taxi ride has now stopped in front of the airport, "is to aim the pack!" babbling. She let go of my arms. I'm sorry, "yah. Thank you for helping us! "I reached taxi metered to pay bills. The driver rose before us out of his taxi, disclaim the door to my beloved. Then help out our belongings, which were not too many "let it go, we can take him alone!" He too get away with a smile full of civility and left us.
We both go hand in hand, only silent without a word came out. Just spread the views of the people around it. Keep walking and walking pace. Now he is ahead of pace with fast motion. Let her ahead of me. Although I feel a little uncomfortable when she does not run along my side. "What do you pilot it?" I asked with exasperation with the tone a little scream. She turned towards me "do you still want to fly with pilots like me?" she asked, turning with a smile. I'm glad to see her smile, keep pace chased without hesitation "any profession, I will do what you command even lives at stake!" I said seriously. Unfortunately, he just laughed heartily, turned to me with his body turned. Then stopped, waiting for me to her and said "your father's will be useless to send you at Nippon far away when the sentence was stupid". Words that stabbed me, she did not directly insult me like dumb people and stupid person, ignorant or another phrase that means matching. But I know what he meant, although he did not want to directly realize what the meaning of the sentence that was spoken. "Never mind no longer have to be discussed, the plane was waiting for us!" I said curtly. But he's still laughing and smiling like a monkey who just had a banana from zoo visitors. "Damn it!” I was a little angry with her, but really I can not express it. "Need ice cube!" she continued, "... no thanks!" I stopped when we got back into the aircraft cabin. She chose to sit near candela planes without closing the glass, letting his eyes staring at the clouds and clouds of hot sun. I put my dark glasses, seemed reluctant to ban it, but it made my eyes dazzled. It seems he deliberately made uncomfortable this time. Our next destination is the airport of Yogyakarta Adi Sucipta. I grabbed her hand again, she did not move. And it turns out when I noticed his eyes were closed. Influence drowsiness, sleepiness or whatever that he was asleep because his bloody marry. I kissed her cheek; I felt a remarkable thing when I touched her skin a few inches. My instincts as a man strong enough influence me, raging in my chest feeling immense view peacefully. My head seemed to boil this vibrant soul. No, I do not want to let my soul just lost. I still have a moral though not an angel, I do not want to be a man who bleeding of the sin even though I realize that I was not so sacred. My black helps capture the look in his eyes so as not to penetrate the spirit who adored her, but unfortunately when he woke up he smiled and turned to me. It's sharp eyes could barely burn coating my sun glasses. The light was so powerful enough to destroy my heart work. I gift beautiful smile for her "go to sleep, we have not reached. When it will wake up to the airport! "I suggest a little embarrassed argued when looking at her. Ahhh ... she knows how it made me even more nervous. Now, her head resting on my right shoulder is enough to make a sudden heart attack. I paused to sit still, even though I was given life by God. "I'm just a little dizzy, probably due to drink that?" she explained that it still can not make me withdraw my blood is frozen. Her neck after held to move right and left. When I touched his neck, the muscles felt stiff "like you're too tired of this journey?" I said. He just shook his head did not want to disappoint. My eyes could not see the nape of his neck is covered with fine hair. Sexy enough and made me shudder. Oh god big test of what else will you give me. She is more visible when the hair is long sexy become roll style very granted. Simple but sexy think. Her hair is black and shiny it seemed be witch bolder, more demanding for the stroked tenderly. I reached up to regain little nape of his neck, but I refuse. "Why are you wearing sunglasses?" she asked. "I'm dazzled!" I replied .closed window from sun lightning plane. "Sorry why not you said so?" she asked, curious. "Coz you do not ask me". I said solid.
Arriving at Adi Sucipta air port, we did not directly looking for a taxi, or calling my family, we went to a restaurant that was near the airport, chatting and just to look for free air. We intentionally chose a table close to the candela. There were no heavy meals that we ordered, only two cups of coffee double espresso. I put the glasses on the table on the right precision. Another pause is our custom at this time. Until my phone rang again. My hands were busy looking around my coat bag. He gives you the freedom when it saw me never to answer the phone.
"I go to the toilet for a while?" She said as she left the table we walked to the end of the restaurant building
My cell phone is now back to stop calling me a fatherly second time. I feel reluctant to accept, so I can let this haunting sense of disgust. Telephone three times, four times the telephone. I didn’t care. I noticed when the screen back tones the sound that changed the tone.
"Hyo, this is your daddy ... why did not immediately lift it!"
"The last number of others, that’s not his number?" I said, because it had been a number of his wife.
"What you've to Yogya?"
"Well, half an hour ago?"
"What you'll bring home daughter grandparent?"
"I don’t know, I have not asked whether he would approve it or not, but I have anyone to book a hotel when he was not pleased!"
"Yes it is, Dad just wanted to make sure that you survive till the goal, papa let you know when you've decided about where, because Laksmi is calm, the way you guys!"
I was uncomfortable hearing his wife, I do not pretend like it when he notices me, I'm not his, and that women should not be exaggerated. I do not want attention from him at all. I was silent for a long time though daddy was still talking. Now he came back, I noticed his pace, captivating smile up until just sit in front of me.
"OK Dad, I'll call later!"
I closed our conversation just like that, without bla…bla…bla. I grabbed my coffee cup, to attempt my angry away from him.
"Papa?" She asked curious
"Yes, She’s just asked me if I've brought you up in peace!" I tell her without describing too much
"Ohh! - Was your dad like me?"
"Of course, no one would dare to refuse me to take you!"
she was silent, just staring at me; die and then his legs stretched out her hand to grab my hands are ready on the table.
"Whether he will accept me?" The question of doubt me and certainty of the answer. I smiled, I knew he was afraid of fatherly met an old woman who had summoned the women's grandparent.
"Of course, I've told him all about you. Believe everything is cooked arrange cook, no doubt you need. Already say it from the beginning. All have been ordered arrange all, I just need your approval only. And the other open issues "as forcefully as I explain maybe I’m, afraid if she had forgotten everything I had ever uttered.
"Okay, I'm willing to take you at my grandma home!" She said circuitry smile and confidence that made me even more in love with him.
I only send a message to Dad that we would stay at home daughter grandparent. Sastro been sending me messages, so we waited in front of the airport, half an hour he will come pick us up.
"You know, grandparent daughter will love you for sure, long black hair that will enchant hospitality, plus another one. You're wearing a blue color which is also highly preferred. Especially the clothes we wear this color matching. So romantic impression will stick! "I said with deep smiling. Rotating her neck reflexes turned to me again after being turned away. Gosh I'm almost afraid if her head would drop out, because she's so fast rotating hinge head. "Gosh!" She cried loud "as not realize if we dress the same! Really, I did not realize it? "She explained cash. I pulled in regardless of the breath in his eye contact. "You can not sympathize at all!" I said. She too pinched my hand which will grimly clench his words. She knew little that I’m little angry. But in the end she could always make me to smile back. "This is a two-time I come to Yogya?”I said. I smiled to hear back expands "since elementary school?" I said. "True" clean air is breathed in deeply. her face is shining; the hair was now backing to tease. I feel comfortable, when she close nape of she neck that was sexy. I'm no longer surprised he made. "What we picked up?" she asked. "Sastro will pick us up! Just Moment." I reached back double espresso. "I can not spend it?" she clear while my eyes watched the cup is still full. Her face was slightly pale, I'm afraid he's tired so I pulled it espresso cup so he does not push yourself back fatherly sip. It's not a big deal for me if he did not drink it. But this seems to mean the opposite to her, she felt I would be sad if he does not spend what I have order it. "Do not drink; I do not want you sick? Do not confuse our December! Please "I asked hopefully. And she too understands how to behave to me.
As I'm sure the coming Sastro, soon may I take her out of the restaurant? This time, course of a little sluggish and not as fast as usual. I was worried about her, his hands cold. I watched her until she realized my lips a little sullen. "Lighten up, I'm healthy! Only a few nervous it! "She said with a smile. That bit made me calm, worry no longer covers me. ".. Prince…prince... Nice!" Knows where the origin of the call, I feel there is someone called me and I know the distinctive sound and intonation her accent. "... Prince, prince… good. It’s me Prince Sastro Sastro. Here Prince….I’m here! "She said.” Sastro that’s her name?" she asked, and I just nodded as she looked around the airport looking for Sastro face. She too helped me, even though only figure out a way Sastro thought that had never seen. She pulled my hand pulling, pointing in one direction where the sound I'm looking to have the same figure with the object that he showed "that the father may be named SATRO are you looking for now?" she explained, I turned around and immediately pulled it. Like Sastro us closer towards each other when our eyes fell. Sastro ran up to us, until it nearly fell off due to slippery floors. "OH…MY GOSH ...!" she complained. We both laughed ringing though he spontaneously said "astaghfirllah". I smiled, turned to find her, kiss her cheek again can I achieve that quickly. Although shocked to react, in the end he too smiled resignedly accept my kisses. "Come on Princes, may I help you, I’m parked my car not far from the front of the airport really. Come on prince, princess, come on? "Sastro invite us. I used to call which means Raden. But it seems that D is not unusual when she called beauty princess by Sastro, her face a little surprised and uncomfortable. I'm just trying to create comfort with a soft touch at her back. She frowned at me, just a smile that could I tell her. We race to following Sastro the first leg running fast ahead of us, perhaps Sastro own discomfort when walking with me, afraid that if I was annoyed. I like the idea Sastro this time, she usually walked right beside me as just learning to walk like a baby, just in case only just afraid if I would fall and feel difficulty if you want to get up. I accompanied my stride step along with the winning smile. Because eighty percent of my plan been running perfectly and now I just need to deliver it to twenty percent of its finishing touch. And we will definitely happy ending, to be served until whenever these memories etched in our hearts, respectively. As well as the sparkling emerald with sculptured ornaments of pure yellow gold. I really enjoy the patient without ending. I must admit feeling sad even start clung to me. Because the date we wanted after a few days. "Prince….that’s the car?" Clear Sastro is turned towards the back, showing his hand just put a mark on us, that the car that will get us very comfortable. Yeah grandparents lend a white Volvo over shiny to pick me up. I smiled at this little speech, because the grand mom never let his white Volvo Sastro taken to the airport alone. "Where Tejo," I "Tejo, incoming den angina, vomiting, vomiting, night patrols catch a chicken thief!" Explains Sastro giggle. D just stopped listening to us; only now and then he smiled even though eventually he was laughing to hear Tejo catch a chicken thief. Well I know he knowingly Surabaya no chicken thief, the thief no hardware. "Princess, would you like to be picked up if using Volvo cars than other though Mercedes. Just because Prince more loves Volvo than other cars, so…Mistress Releases the steering wheel for me… Prince. But so yes, continue the discourse, and I’m understood when a new…. Princes, would be hit Mistress Cars. Understandably Prince, my feet pressed against the brake no long for her! "Said a buoyant, Sastro passionate. D smiled even begin to burst out laughing when saw me laughing out loud just like that without hesitation. "Princess, sorry, I'm so embarrassed!" Explained Sastro with a smile. "Sorry sir I do not have bad intentions?" He explained. "Whoa… prince, what did you said for me? Coolies? FE really I don’t understand!" Sastro seem to act dumb to understand what he says. And D seemed relieved to hear that. Now Sastro opened the trunk put our luggage one by one. I let the car for him, so that the sun is no longer dilute sweat. "Go first, I wanted to accompany Sastro!" I explained, he understood and nodded. I glanced at him quickly opened his fatherly take back the novel he had just read last night. Just a smile of relief, that everything is under control. "Just go have a nice Princess till I’m back! I'm still strong for take this bag! "He said with a lie. My eyes caught the left hand is busy holding his hips, grimacing heavy lifting. Without a word, I do have just picked up this trolley bag. Its contents are tough because there is a laptop, textbook of medicine as well as some medical journals owned by the college. Sastro feel happy when I'm desperate to help her. Maybe he understood that if I did not work she lied. "Woahhh Raden is a great doctor, though I can understand the pain has not been checked!" she explained connect sentences. "I am not doctor, still a student!" I explained. Now she walked around before me and opened the car door for me. I just shook my head and smile for granted. When Sastro entry and steering wheel control without I tell him, sure he already knows where the goal first before getting to the residence of the grandparent's daughter. He still does not really bother me. That notoriety when it is the temple of love temple with novel collection. He created the world could never be disturbed. But not this time, because I was determined to pull the book and then forced her to return to enjoy my hospitality. I put a smiling face when he gets angry when her novel pulled away. Pride is created, only the heavy breathing that had taken out. Her lips pursed like a typical sharp like the rice cooker the ancient village, "come on!" I say that he was not too upset. "I just want us to just enjoy the time without wasting time there. That's all! ". What a sweet smile when she does it, my heart almost no trace lulu destroyed as wind-blown dust. Smooth hand grabbed my left cheek; smiling at each other full of meaning we understand each other without the slightest falsehood. I grabbed his shoulder, tight hug. My honor almost lost his eye. The fire burning in her body to ready my stronger. My logic such as missing a moment. Ohhh.... how much weight when adjacent to it when I'm wearing a mask of arrogance. My knee like a twitch, muscle nerves seemed almost lost. As her eyes sharp very lighten. The wind seemed to whisper that I might rekindle the flame of excitement more typical of the Adam, but any ... no I can’t. I shouted to myself. "Hmmm ... I'm so thirsty!" I choked when my neck started to shyness and unstoppable passion. Her hands immediately searched the prada bag. Gave me a bottle of sparkling water. I looked at the bottle attached to the line of her lips romantic pink autumn. My eyes are getting tempted; my mind wandered a lot naughtier. Oh God, let alone this temptation. This is the test of the limit I cried almost silently uttered softly. "What did you say?’He asked shocked tone. I just realized my careless silent and shook her head. The car that we rode still running a little faster, her face is now completely turning away from me watching every road, every now and then he smiled. It's just that I do not know what the meaning of her smile. And what he described what he imagined. I shudder to think when he laughed at me heavily. We fell silent again, again I grabbed my notes
diary
I must admit I was selfish man. I admit I was very fascinated with the creatures of God who now sat in front.
I do not know what to do less. My head have a dead end. Her love is witching me. But education sues me, as a man of science is a priority basis to seek popularity, the economy.
Something is lost when she is not my side
Can not life without her....
"What are you writing?" she asked suddenly, startling me even though I'm really not too much too stunned.
"No, just a daily record of mediocrity? Do you also have it? "
"Diary? No! "
"Why? Well I know, your activity not be enough when written every day, it takes much time. Fingers can be separated from her ribs! "
We laughed, holding her hand and fist to hit it on my stomach. But I don’t fell sickness, because her smile is the cure of my pain. I’m back save my notes in my laptop bag. Sastro stop the car we were riding at boutique family subscription rate. Sastro asked to accompany him in the car alone. "Wait here, I will not be long?" I left with Sastro; alone I will walk into the boutique. I read the sign that flower beautiful boutiques, apparently his name is still the same, through the glass door there is a middle-aged man greeted me with smiles, leaves the door open for me. I do not know, maybe he's new. This boutique turns out a lot re building; the floor was transformed into wooden mahogany colored wood floors, white walls ivory, various types of growing flowers adorn this boutique. More beautifully than it already entered the room. To following my feet deep, a collection of more flowers, fragrant aroma filled the air scatter. A lithe young woman greeted me now "sugeng rawuh!" She said softly that shall mean good dating. I smiled, and then spread every angle of view; to talk conscious elderly woman who wore a kebaya was sitting in front of the counter watching as the young woman involved do wrote greeted balls. I deliberately did not pay attention to them even though they were watching me. Maybe they do not know me, but I know their names, respectively. I took the orchid and then handed to a woman named Pure "Pure Ms. coupled please me bouquets of white roses are blooming and the contract plus a few stalks of orchids like this". She seemed surprised when I called her name, he too smiled wider sign of her being happy. Or so it thought. He took me out of the boutique into a beautiful garden with a variety of large barrel-shaped vase filled with genius collection of orchids. "Mr.… blossoms for whom?" she asked. "I need three bouquets for three women. Please choose for me. A bouquet of white roses full of blooms and buds, please combine with purple orchids for my late mother gave white to the cord.... hemmmm ... One more please bouquet orchid bouquet, not too much, because he does not like. That one please, more loves purple ribbon that’s my girls’ friends’ favorite color. And a bouquet of more fatherly love that now I'm sitting in cars. Fatherly her, a bouquet of red roses with red ribbon. I'll wait in the hall, looking seeing! ". I leave it, not much is bus I’m care other than interest. Until I forced myself to sit amid the park, reading a paper, prepared at the news pepper .I is not waiting for pure flower arrangements. But I have to wait.
She send message for me.
Do you still long? If I want to be with you in
I read it with a smile you're obviously love I’m babble with my self. She must be to accompany me. No long dating he too met with no trouble at all. "What do you want going to cemetery directly," she asked while taking a seat be side me and interesting paper was read. The paper folded four part .she put on my chair form the existing adjoining empty. "Yes! The fire I'll take you first to take a break! "I said. She combed her hair with her fingers. A gust of wind swept her hair towards the face. The smell is distinctive fragrant shampoo she was wearing. "What you will not let me when I come!" He asked doubtfully. The question sounded very skeptical, afraid if I do not think in rhythm with him. "Of course not. I really appreciate it, thank you! ". I'm glad to hear it. "Wait here, I'm going over to him, like he had done it!" Pure I let my legs that are ready to meet with three bouquets of flowers. One handed me a long note. I demanded to be paid wages in accordance with existing bill in the memorandum. "Mr. Here next to his signature" finger directed to affix my signature in the correct place. The cashier smiled at me. "This great grandson Mistress Paramitha ayu" he asked with a tone typical of fine Yogya. "Well, not really my grandson is in Surabaya," I answered. She laughed, patting my left shoulder, and squeezed squeeze my arm. "Oh my God son is a big yes! Said Mistress. Aden schools in Japan. What has been passed to den? "She asked curiously. I smiled, not expecting much when the grandparent's daughter story and this close to him. "Ohhh .... Yet mom, still a same holiday to visit my grandparent ". She further called for pure giggling calling to want greeted. I know if the new Pure is his son and an old man who opened the door for me was her husband. Boring once I got stuck like this, like I ended immediately. But unfortunately she fussy continues as the pace of the train. "Sorry Prince, come on brought his bill, look at her prince very beauty is likely to wait patiently!" D her eyes glance; sitting garden faces tilted back against the chair, her long dangling toward the grass. She’s like sitting fatigue. "Well, we’re just vacation from Bali, mom so sorry I'm in a hurry!" I said. She too invited me to go see him with some bouquet flower. I’m back to reached out to shake them all. Now I'm back to see who has closed his eyes. Slightly blackened eyelids. I let her own heart sank a little. I put a bouquet of roses to her cheeks. Appear to look surprised though ultimately smiled "for me!’ She asked. "Of course, as pretty as you? I'm done; we can rest now "I replied. Note that I brought a bouquet of flowers. "Relax darling, course of this orchid's grandparents, and this rose to mama. So we move on cemetery later before Ashar. The place really near. And for the interest can I put in the chiller ". Looks like she's smiling with a relief listen my explanation. He kissed over and over again that I have given flowers. Now we return to travel. "Sas ... please exaggerated the coolant; I'm worried about the flowers wilting before reaching the owners!" I ordered the immediate Sastro turn the car cooler. Fifteen minutes later we were served until the grandparent's residence. Fence was open before us dating, the figure is still pretty old lady was waiting for us complete with traditional Javanese dress. A batik-style folding fan folded his right hand. When we opened the car door, grandparent was smiling broadly at us. The steps that seemed hurried down the porch steps while carrying a little kebaya special java clothes hurry that she was wearing. "Oh my grand son ... a long time coming," he yelled to me that immediately hugged me, I really miss him. I like seeing mommy's face painting her soul huge closely attached to my heart almost stop motion. "Sastro please bring bags into the room, let me be straight breaks, the wife told her lunch, Parmin, please ya all warm water, and have also come here for a while. Look at this, here you are beauty dating any of my grandchildren, "he said on the first Sastro will know of our arrival." yes master ... sure. Nice added plus Den handsome white plaster added Caucasians, master her looks so pretty right. Beautiful! "Clear that overflowed overflowing Sastro make grandparent turned his attention back to D and still bowed and smiled. Ohh ... Sastro, her face embarrassment at the compliment. "I told him the girl a month ago grandparent!" I whispered softly. "she is very beauty " she said softly, kissing her grandparents that I gave orchids to her, follow the steps they are face to face closer to her .Now her face still looks calm and silent even though he knew if his figure grandparents have been observed. her Spontaneous hand get grandparents to hand kissed "are you Desy ?" Ask grandparents strings attached. "Yes mom!" she said a little clumsy. "Call it the same as your lover, grandparent!" Gosh whole life he had never called me that. It must be immediately flexed his tongue when calling this title. “come on girls let's go, let's go darling" my grandparents on her hospitality us with hugs. The three of us walked into the main house. The house is old, but I like it, perhaps she too would prefer. She's a typical love the uniqueness of the ancients. Our eyes met grandparents behind his back, smiling at each other heart to give shade. We sit and chat in the terrace house in JOGLO. This is where the family used to meet and relax; grandparents really have all ready prepare our arrival. I look on the table there have been several last two editions of the magazine's favorite cosmopolitan D. beside magazine, there was a newspaper Tribune Indonesia and media favorite. Grandmother smiled, understood by what I saw. Deliberately left them both fatherly more talk freely. I pretend the car is about to take a laptop bag. This was deliberately left for some of the reasons. With current condition. I also went straight to my room after all the business settled. Her room was neat. Ambipur smell of lavender was ejected together with the air. I look out on large window at the end of the room. One large room that has never been open fatherly anyone now clean in each corner. I looked closely, I noticed that every movement Parmin wife Yati, I know for whom the room was decorated. I pull my feet into the room. Its location is a little too much about forty feet from the other side of my room. Only separates the swimming pool to our room. Grandmother was right what do I want to know. When I went into the design room joglo Javanese art is very thick. That door a made of teak wood is intact. Also with pillars. Two large windows that flank the two-leaved door closed the left side. When the entrance was greeted first Yati "welcome Prince!" She said while stopping his work. I smiled "why grandparent giving out the room for her mama!" I asked him searchingly. "Sorry prince. Cumin since I ordered last week that net. But God willing not room really haunted den! "Full explanations full worry.”That's not what I mean! Because my daddy and his wife never can’t sleeping in this room since they were married". We are silent; I will watch every corner of the room to spread the view. "Yati please replace it with a new rose flower yes, the water is not too much though not cool, long add a blanket that is not patterned batik and if can be purple or blue, or a mix is fine". Yati turned and nodded pestle out of his room. I checked her bathroom that has now been replaced with a bath tub and shower in light blue. Towels and also a blue kimono hanging in the bathroom clean. Five minutes later Yati is back with all that I command. I helped set up the blanket. "Where was the remote ac?" I asked the Yati. When she turned on TV after opening the desk drawer and handed it to me. "This!" she said. "I've left here, and please bring a water jug of mineral water!" I said. But strangely her still in daydream corner of the door alone, and when I turned she ducked. "Yati… what are you waiting for?" I asked, wondering, fearing that I've done unintentionally rude. Grandmother can be furious at me. "I’m so sorry prince, what did you said, coolies, I don’t hear it". Ahhh I know that is, of course she did not understand the sentence. Fault is in the choice of words when speaking as someone like Yati. "I mean ohh, help me to bring it some drink with a kettle of clean glass and mature from a fully equipped kitchen with a glass-legged". Looks like she knew I was upset, and then she too went straight without any new questions. It's hard having to talk to people who are not smart, always takes a lot of explanation so that he can understand it. Why are they too long on the terrace, what they talked about? Did my grandparents know that her eyelids are blackened? I grumbled it. No entirely up to the room I hear footsteps, but her daughter and grandparents have stood in the doorway watching me have made up bed. "Where is Yati? How come you are clearing alone! "Ask grandparents before him curious to leave the room.”Room was huge," she asked like a surprise. "What I myself go to sleep here? 'He asked again. Make me curious the cash and turned my head as soon as possible forced to think fast. What he asked me to accompany him fatherly? I asked myself. "What do you mean?" I asked, curious. She was still aware of his mistake. "Ehmmm ... no I mean, this room is too big for me, and I fear that the room alone I never knew." I'm sorry to hear that now sit like carrying heavy loads. "Take a bath first, I have prepared warm water in the bath tub, go wash up, I'm just afraid of him taped to phantom leak". He removed one at a flat shoe. Also opened her blouse buttons one by one in front of me without hesitation, only one button on it that has not been opened. Gosh he's like a tease. Her hair is now flowing strongly tied rolling up. "I will not calm front of you naked, I was wearing a tank top and hot pants!" she said, who seemed surprised to see me amazed wonder. Taken one suit into a full bathroom with underwear that had fallen right in front of my eyes. I did not hear clearly what she sang at a bath room, only a faint vague that I know. Yati-had already led a water jug with a water goblet and two cups of strawberry juice. My head was dizzy, I'm actually a little hungry, but there was no desire to fill my stomach. "You do not shower Hyo?" she yelled from inside. "What did you ask me a bath together?" I asked bluntly demanding hopeless though. I could hear was a loud laugh. "I came out D will wait for you over the kitchen table in an hour. "OK!" she said. After I made sure she was safe with this room, then returned my room, I pull my feet. Grandmother was waiting for me over the kitchen table, but I'm pretending to walk without notice.
I lay my body just above the bed, exhausted it. I took an aspirin tablet and then I drank a glass of water. I'm comfortable fatherly few minutes. But not, for the last fifteen minutes. My body felt sticky with sweat. So I loosen my belt, but still not make me comfortable. The last thing I did was go washing and sinking my body in bath tub full of warm water, which is sprinkle with half a small bottle of eucalyptus oil complete with aroma therapy sandal wood that he bought me when I was in Jakarta. I love this scent, very warm. I turned off the lights, just using sunlight coming through the wind breeze through the air. Reactions to aspirin starting to ease more relax. I tried to relax myself as much as possible. My mind is heavy. Already sending a message to your papa, when I was up since two hours ago. Papa will fly to see me about four days. That means I will meet with Lakshmi. And really it makes me sick. I threw away my cell phone over the pile of clothes that had been set them on the floor. I closed my eyes just to learn to calm down. Head sank into the water. I heard no sound but the sound is central music at home. Now turn the song's Michael Bolton how am I Supposed to life without you. I imagined a faraway look about him, to consider many things about him. My mind is cloudy when it is thinking about this. Selfishness still becoming kingdom in my mind, right now. But can love over me completely. Whatever I do to have it, just before I had a dream goal, I was reluctant to show too much fatherly. Can he wait for me? Could she love me? To be a honest this time and at any time until I was confident with my choice even though the sky is falling upon it. Suddenly I shivered to imagine something that could not be reached for me it would be miserable later. I immediately woke up from the water, take a deep breath, and look for books that I put down on a chair.
I'm glad my grandmother received her presence, that he blessed the woman berrati choice.
I love him, love him miss him. Arguably
although the sky falling, the seas dry up, the storm hit. My spirit will always be with him
she will lucky, later when she picked me as a husband
Because I'm sincere,
I love him unconditionally
I do not just love her body
But his spirit, his soul and his heart and mind
I wish one day she can read every book I write about it daily
I want her to understand and appreciate what, how a I loved
God knows, how I ...
Every dark light am followed by a light morning.
Love you D
24 DECEMBER 2002
I guess when it was enough, I will come out of the bath tub, I put away my notes over the phone with the shirt underneath. I turned on the shower, cleaning foam that sticks in my skin. I was more comfortable with this. I’ve spilled everything on a page book.
God knows who is knocking on my room; I just say "go!" I yelled from the bathroom. "I Hyo? Make up that clear. So if you get out of there? "She shouted. I already know who he is. I just smiled at her when I came out naked, He would scream. So I decided just to wear a towel. Even I did not bring a single sheet "yeah I know ethics," I yelled annoyed. He laughed, I ignored it. When I came out he was standing to bring suit I wear. I still care” I’m going out; I was waiting in front of the pond. I still have not stopped believing in what I see. Make her wet hair look sexy even without make up. I look through the window; he was sitting alongside a pond. Played with the feet to water pool. I love you I whispered to myself. I wear clothes that have been chosen, we were both wearing white pants with a different employer.
"Let's see grandparents, tomorrow we go?’Take me
"Yeahh ...!"
The three of us to chatted middle of the yard near the pond, I am happy because she can merge with man indigenous people such as grandparents. Apparently he's also pretty smart high Javanese language. We ate and talked to and fro, occasionally grandparent’s smile of satisfaction to me about it, I also occasionally see a charming smile. My heart wanted to scream when it realized the depletion of our time together. Should I prove along time with her time, should a marriage her now? I'll give him to eat what? What if I'm not happy he is? Love is not enough? I shouted to myself
"You seem tired, get a rest please, we continue the conversation tomorrow, oh yes please bring me some cake Yati, fresh from the open special for them. Don’t forget right, let me be eat some, do note let your stomach is empty!" her message as she walked away leaving us. Yati will follow up to chamber grandparent.
"Let's walk you back to the room?" Take me "or do you want I carried?" He shook his head, trying to smile limply holding drowsiness. "You seem heavy sleepy," I just make sure. She will be walk you back to the room, with no strings attached directly he too lay in bed with sleeping. I pulled the blankets, just to warm her bed. "Good night, sweat dream!" I will immediately leave the room. I’m very sleepy sense, did not take long to drown my soul to dreamland till the sun. Early morning I woke up, who knows what woke me up. But clearly, I dreamed that she was rejecting me when I say love him, I was. When I saw her, there was a small boy came up and said if I was a friend of his mother? My eyes continued to stare. I drank several glasses of water; I drank too few small a glass of sake that I brought from Japan. I’ll tried to cooling down, probably half of me. Just keep Silent or a moment, staring at the window of his room without turning on the lights. The room was still quiet no noise whatsoever, although it looks Yati had cleared its front page. I grabbed my notes again, I turned my laptop, and no lighting is turned on.
i am here for you, stay for you ... only for your entertainment
I am crazy over you
my love is deep like Oceans, I do not have a ship when you leave me
I can not breathing when you done with me.
You can changes me, my heart is blind without you
You always going to be my part
I just want you beside me until get my hair white colors
And hold you in my arms, never let you go
Without surrender
Did you want there with me, when I need you
Just do like I do
Coz I’m going to always there when you need me
I'm promises
What ever it takes
I love you till I'm dying
Yogyakarta
25desember'2002
My heart has not been quiet about it all, despite being spilled all my feelings on this sheet. I want to get more freshness and I know what it is.
I last raced in a pool just me in the pool, Yanti and Parmin until screams when they look at me. Not at all do I just care with them. Although the wet floor runs to dry "just makes surprise?" Shouted Parmin. While being frantically to calm his wife. "What wrong with you. I just can’t buy it some from?” she yelled at me. I immediately pulled over to hear the third. he was now squatting over my face looking at me with glassy, his eyelids look cloudy, whether s fell what I feel. Does she dream of the same? I do not know I do not know. I just kept looking at his face. "You what?" she asked, truly concerned. "I was swimming in the morning!" I laid without catch her bold face; I will stay away from one meter. "No, you're wearing a full dress, so it is not possible if you intend what for ...” I quietly went back to get it. "What is it? Please say to me? "She asked again. "Why you look so stubborn?" she asked again. And now she's walking away leave me entered the room without ignores me. I feel a little hurt, especially when he left as he slammed the door. I do not care; bury me in the pool around the pond. Until the fifth round, I get out and she’s room. Wet without a towel. I found she was in tears for me, when I tried to wet hugged her, her body warm me.
"What-you-will ... You ... we want to break up now?" She said stumbled brick
"Of course not, we still have time, and I still love you so much?"
"What are you doing this morning?"
"I was just a nightmare, believe me I mash can overcome all this, what do you want come back again, when the new year?"
"I went along!"
"Okay we'll go on 30, or you go back to Jakarta ma?"
"Up, where's all that matters we are together!"
"Thanks!"
"Change your clothes, there seems to be one of dry clothes in my bag in one set, not to catch the oddity your grandparents!"
She issued a complete suit of underwear. The possibility that our clothes last through the laundry room service while in Jakarta. I washed myself in the bathroom, the smell of sandal wood therapy like I was wearing last night. My heart feels tranquil, found her scent, racial concerns are not clear, did not realize my nose bleed, I feel like I'm bleeding. I look up the sky then I rested my head into the bath tub. Just hold the blood that is not too much out... I picked my clothes, to keep his blood. I held some time to no longer come out, and then I will finish with the affairs of my bathroom. And when I'm out. "You all right?" she asked. "Well," I said simply. "... No of course not, because the blood of your clothes from of your nose!" she came up behind me to take the existing tissue. He pulled his sleeping bag bed that is neat. "You're bleeding!" she said, putting cotton and pulling it slowly. "This is just pure eucalyptus oil! Blood may soon stop!" she called back. "Calm down! I'll get you a drink. To avoid dehydration ". How happy I am to see a very close attention. This is an elixir for me who have been injured by the reflection of himself. "Do not think anything kind. If you think I'm not too deep. Believe me I will love you if you loved me, blah does not then we still be friends like the beginning! "He continued. I was silent though a little twitch.
Since then, I'm increasingly trying to control myself not to be too weak. We live the rest of the time we were together for more happiness remains unforgettable, after breakfast, I asked around Yogyakarta, we bring a new set of clothes each, visit Parangtritis, Grojogan sewu, visit the garden sari. Not a single action that we did not capture. Everything was beautiful. On the second day we also visit Borobudur temple, where we talked a long time to sleep on the grass around the courtyard of the temple, in the evening we passed the palace of Yogyakarta by trying to pass through the twin banyan tree with eyes closed. Many myths about the tree, but I do not believe it completely. She failed to get past the tree, but I'm glad I got through it with closed eye. "You're great!" She says, pinching my cheek. "Ahh ... just a chance, try again you will be successful, do not give up. Thomas Edison alpha alone does not give up creating a light! "I say to comfort her.
She smiled "I'm hungry!" She said, "I want meatballs, I have not been eating meatballs! But the solo models yes, there's vegetable". We also look around the UGM area, how nice to see him enjoy his food. "You are like the hungry!" I smiled at her. "Of course, how not, your uterus Caucasian’ cuisine constantly ask me, I think my tongue is long archipelago cuisine!" She answered spontaneously and straightforward. "Desy love, loss and less I stay five star hotel rooms, but the food tastes to choose the archipelago. Besides not really too familiar with the ala carte western! "I said. She smiled "you know hyo, almost a month now my tongue twisted with spicy basil dish, Tabasco, oregano, Thyme, paprika". Her elbow towards my stomach "it’s hurt D!" I cried slowed, deliberately did not say out loud. "Oh my…. all, you are ...” she just quietly enjoying the meatballs. Well meatball, long time since I did not enjoy it, since a long time. Last time I ate meatballs with Java is on the road three years ago. I forgot what it was like bulb, fried foods, and tofu, dumplings. I'm glad to see him enjoy the meatballs, all of which appear so innocent. How nice people can be happy when our loved ones. This world seemed full of warm love. "Hurry up finish your bakso, escorted me to the market this Klewer out, would ya? Did you want ... “Hurry once her, I wonder. What would it she buy at market. To be honest I'm not too comfortable when shopping place like that. Not a market problem that that I’m think. But many people are crowded there. It was just make me didn’t get some a fresh air, she knows it or not. I certainly did not show my comfort less was she calling. "Could you?" she asked me like spy. I’m just nodded in agreement, occasionally one spoon my bakso soup, continues back. And take my young coconut ice. "I'd order another glass of ice so it?" she said whining. "Well, five glasses also does not matter as long as your stomach can hold?" I feel like smiling showing my white teeth. "I think you're trash!" she answered half furious. Today we joked as often as possible, is increasingly close to the separation. If time could stop. Will he continue with me, I pondered for a long time? Until two hours later, we got out of the pavement cafes. Back to travel. This trip is different from our previous route, always luxurious facilities. I don’t know that is over how much of my money, but really is not the problem until the second I breathe. Yet to feel the slightest sense of remorse about what I had done in his presence.
Enjoy an evening together seemed so fantastic and adrenaline as he could animate. Although it is not very clear in his eyes. My confidence grew when he was with me. Will all always like this, would think that we feel will always remain the same at any time without fade just a little bit. Just talking alone silently mouthed with my self. I’ll drive my car with fast cars but full of alertness, I’ll break through the dark with the light of stars. My heart was beating again full of hope full of dreams ... "are we'll be together?" I said when I heard he just turned and stared at me intently almost ready to bow towards the goal of my pupils. Heavy breathing back out of his nose, it feels really heavy when he says something. "Don’t know, you always put your dreams than your love?" The answer is so attacked more power, and I have not had said new answer, eyes return to condense from behind her blue Rodenstock. I wish I had asked about it. But it can not I lied when the trough deepened my love I felt with him. Almost, I can’t pause at all to thinking about healthy. "You are my dream!" I said softly as I stopped my car suddenly at the end of the road pavement downtown Yogya. We were both silent. "Still, for now! But for the future you do not necessarily feel the same! Only have I emphasized once again, I love you so much ... so… Than before I saw you back at once, I do not know since when I feel like that because I'm not sure ". Description of his heart so deep at my ears up without realizing she was a little hurt my feeling until my brain feels like a burden. "I love you" I even like, my love deeper than him. I'm just not an easy man to express love and show it by way of excess. "Thank you!" she said. That answer sounds flat without emotional emphasis. "What if we are going to Parangtritis!" she suggested while trying to change the atmosphere of the blue that is not too much mellow. "This evening," I asked a little surprised and then I looked again his face is now bright. "Okay princess" I replied.
Pushing up toned back the pace of my car, all four wheels chasing each other with a gentle evening dust and dry leaves are falling. the beauty tonight you gave me tonight. We also got Parangtritis, get out and enjoy the beautiful beaches, said the Parangtritis smells magical and deeply felt when we visited at night. But it does not apply to me. Magical thing that I felt was she smiling at there, we chatted, joked and occasionally I smell it. Honey comes out of his lips seemed like paradise artificial honey. It feels so perfect. None have forgotten to capture. We bathed in moonlight, and splash of stars, the wind seemed to whisper that he is a real place for harbor. Because the wind I can smell him and because the wind was too long black hair whipping my face that has been insolent kisses. It was felt amused to imagine something that is beyond my limits. It is remarkable atmosphere that we feel. My heart was racing more when she laid her head back right in the heart of my heart. Kept shaking my pulse, my blood ran cold. Although the evening, sea breeze provide warmth for us. Somehow I feel like a prince valiant Hector, I also feel as beautiful as the Prophet Joseph. Really, amazing perfect. I realized I loved her. I'm madly crazy about it. And I feel so alive when he turned my soul is dead. I do not care even if she is not important in this world but he is the most important thing my world. Sound waves are used to provide coolness for me, but sounds like a really great tornado that struck the roar of nature. Animate the soul of my youth. I remembered a little, according to rumor every unmarried couple will break up after a visit Parangtritis. But I can’t tell her anything about her. I do not want him to have thought the opposite to me that whatever its form.
The next morning we had breakfast together three daughters’ grandparents, nothing too special but his face is bright with happiness. All menus that have inspire no one other than the greeting. He really knows how to make fatherly smile, I was embarrassed when she look at me with sharpness like an arrow, so he is embarrassed when suddenly, just find me being caught staring motion. Perfect I say softly, grandparent immediately greeted me as he followed the Yati into the kitchen to prepare a bowl of soup. "She seems like a serimpi dancer who is ready anesthetize the king with his movement," so casually thrown to the new sentence could be soaked after ten seconds later "... Really what the grandparents! You indeed been different from the same like your moms! Grandparents grandchildren inherit true nature and character of arrogance ". She said again while chewing betel leaf which apply to his mouth smeared with rotating motion over and over again. I can only smile and shame that no measure. Silence is the best should I do now. Grandmother is very smart judge my psyche. "Oh my gosh…you really ... in love!" Accent in a thick Javanese language.
Two hours later we went to Yogya Taman sari, enjoying the typical view of the kingdom magnificent Javanese culture. Keep stylish and good looking. Then I will get spoiled by my goddess the object with my camera analog. Currently nothing can be tempting me than her, "I like this place?" Ordinary. I just smiled with a nod. We re walk alone together to visit garden area then sat there stone at chairs we were sitting close together leaning back on a stone back, holding her hand is a wonderful I got to do his routine. I do not want to lose one moment of romance with him. Because she is an icon of my love in my life. His name as an inscription carved in my heart. I can only hope the same thing. "What you do not want to Japan?" I asked suddenly. Open, its mean shocked by my question. "Why? I do not have a passport; I have no purpose besides visiting! "He stammered brick, and hid his face from my eyes.”Just for a long vacation! With me ... together! "I said seriously, for some reason it's just a stupid question out of my mouth. I felt my heart beat is undergoing a medical test exam. We were silent for a moment, until she stood in front of me exactly with circular her hand at my shoulders. We each threw a sharp glance vibration, his mouth slightly agape and then "I will visit you wherever you call me, if it is pure of conscience!" The answer was so loud hard slap. My lips are sealed, and then he left again, such as tingling and my legs could barely an inch more closer-one until a few seconds. Once realized, I will go back chasing his shadow, "do you want to wait for me?" I asked, curious. "Dependent?" Motion is so lively. "What?" I really hunted curiosity. But I never received an answer until now. She just smiled, how I growled. But I do not have the guts to pursue the answer. Because every time he asked me, I always hang up the answer. That was what made me to take into account the question again. Moreover December will soon be over fatherly few days, the end of December was the end of the first relationship we became lovers. How sad when I feel the time is so fleeting. It's hard for me to understand all this. We visited Grojogan sewu, to enjoy the waterfall. All taste the same, wherever he is fatherly with me. Then my life will take place with full of wonderful perfection. I felt like the world could hold, I felt so happy with the Garden of Eden. Hanging gardens of Babylon will not make me happy to live without it. All because of, she possessed magical, and all that attached to him so easily witch. Today is our last day in Yogya, because tomorrow our goal is Buleleng Bali or Jakarta Ismail Marzuki visits the park to enjoy an operetta that he liked. But until this moment we have not decided our goal. Until ...
"I actually wanted to look at the Ismail Marzuki theatrical. It's just that-for some reason I seem to want to follow you go to Buleleng. Or maybe you already have the final decision! "
"I do not know, I'd prefer if you are into the tour guide!"
We walked down a street full of grass and sat down on the grass wet with dew.
"I'm confused!" He added plaintively
Shut up and think that's what I did, I took my laptop started looking for some of the same type of entertainment at night with our new year. My head is a dead end; no one wants the nerve to think I'm taking. There is no syndrome related to work together.
"You can goggling it?" Was his advice
Re-typing my hand, looking for entertainment in Bali and Jakarta? Then, try to looking some entertainment promo at website. But actually she became confused and bewildered to choose.
"You're it!" I answered
she fell silent again, so was I. But I believe if I tell you what, until the end no one wants to make a decision. To be honest I'd love to Bali, but I prefer when he decided. But this is not easy for us with limited time we had. This beauty will soon be over in a matter of two days.
"What if we suit?" He suggested while showing off his teeth intact.
"Deal!" I thought fair
One two three we show the same finger, no difference
"Suit up to ten!" He said
God picked him to win finally beat me. I smiled even though her mouth pursed ruefully.
"Decide now?" I
she nodded, obey
"If we can stay in Jakarta in Honor, I'm booking now will fund. And if you want a bali, then I will order Nusa Dua. That we are not going too far away from Jimbaran, now the New Year. Beautiful beaches there are still visible especially at night "I suggest a dictionary just to give additional
"Okay, I chose Bali. The rest you are set. Right now we can make flight departure. Sooner, right! "
That's why I just nodded in agreement. we rushed to get tickets for the flight tomorrow morning, then book a hotel room in Nusa Dua for tomorrow, after all is finished, he again asked me to enjoy the meatballs are sidelines road of solo. No tents around it. just a meatball wagon parked alongside a curb. I parked the car also was forced to the front edge of the cart. Suddenly, she casually out of the car, with a cheerful smile without sin. I’m ordering two bowls of meatballs with a different content types menu.
"Where to eat? 'I asked, confused. And she replied lightly. "Here is more delicious taste?" He said while lounging on the sidewalk without any reason. "Where," I guess while you guess. She smiled as her eyes glanced at me to following her sit and approached with a bowl of meatballs solo. Exactly as I expected he would definitely took me out to the side of the road. She smiled, bleak I objection. "If you do not want you to eat in your white Volvo" he replied bluntly without a glance. Crazy idea but I like it. I agree, I do not want to hurt her, I always want to pass all requests. "So, my sweat!" she chuckled. I just smiled wryly and was invited back laughter.
Promptly at three o'clock, we arrived in Bali for the second time. Our arrival, to completing v days at last two days, of our December. Grandparent today is actually our mind to leave it off. But I kept forcing it. I promised to visit her again after a medical degree can I pocket. I joke I'll come begging blessing prayer for married D. Grandmother smiled and kissed us and hugged me tightly. My grand mom knows if I avoid poor wife will be visiting us in Yogya. All knew I always disagreed with that woman. And I'm very hate, I feel like an enemy that must be avoided. I really do not like me even a little hate.
Our flight went smoothly. No interference at all even when I got in Nusa Dua we also directly competing pool. Unwind with very pleasant water. She shadowed me with heavier flavor release it. Candle light diner, mini style is very different from what we've done. No chat, just that we are silent tonight. Food menu is still intact, just steak we've cut into small pieces. Our facial expression was almost no difference, shadow separation clung me back shortly from the lapse of time walking me back to smile at the thought of my success to get a medical degree from Japan, how glad I whispered to myself. She smiled to see me smile. we could not cram one tablespoon of the mouth of our food. "Dance with me!" Take me calm. We danced to some songs detour from Careless Whisper - beauty and the beast - what a wonderful world. All wonderful sound in my heart "you're beautiful tonight" I whispered to the dance floor "you are full of fragrant charm!" I continued. She was silent, but her arms tightly wrapped my body back. It felt so warm, the more grief etched in my heart, I felt all such shady "something inside my head so Blue!" She said, her tears fell upon my shoulders. sorry I've hurt you, but believe me you will always be the queen of my heart until the mountains crumble, sea water dry up, and doors open sky. Only death can make me stop loving you I told myself. I will hug him tightly, "I love you!" I whispered softly, and she did not budge at all. My chest felt tight, I'm trying to stem the tears that did not come out, but the more I held, more and harder to breathe. We continue embrace quietly. The night was really touching. I could barely sleep so did she? We spent time together around the angle. Although we rented a room, still we are on the streets day and night sticking togetherness. At last visit we went to Buleleng. We spent almost all day. Getting closer to the day separation none of us much to say, none of us tells a funny story and none of us ban together with something we normally hate. Especially me, I'm getting stopped in silence and just hug me comfort to my soul energy neutralization. Though we were walking arm in arm we each felt like a stranger who'd just met. Harder to feeling No more beautiful smile, her eyes no longer sharp, persistence seemed to fade away in the wind my soul. Buleleng romance that I do not think we've ever been perfectly a week ago. I feel like screaming but I realize this is all my work. Then, it just me who can decide all eventually. I'm just a director who wanted a story ending with sadness. I show my dark side continuously with a blanket conceit.
Exactly on the date December 31 we went to restaurant taking fatherly breakfast ration. I gave him a small gift of silver contained in them are typical of Borneo has been written
My Love D
I love what you are
I'm always getting dizzy when I'm over you Thinking
just trust me I love you more than my self
I love you love you
I Hope that you can always feel like what I feel
it's hard to say goodbye
My tongue does not speak
that's really WHO I am
dear I just won’t you ever forget me, do not ever
my poor angel.. Trust me we can to be come one... Next year
just have me with your best looks
dear....
I can not keep my eyes of you
your heart
Hyo
Bali December 31, 2002
my eyes could not imagine with all the will I see. My mind is still dreamy. Picture of fear and disappointment made me shudder when going to deliver the letter. I just determinate my self, to refuse this action until tonight. So even I’m not giving this gift. "Buffet" I asked. Then he came up to me "Well, are you a service package our ordered continental!" she said without a smile. It was a proud woman I thought. I continued to follow him until he re-took the table near the window. a bowl of porridge with lots of chicken soup that's penchant morning. "Omelet only baked potato and sausage and all!" she asked with a smile. "You should smile than before, so I do not freeze?" I replied a bit annoyed but relieved. His smile was full of spells that are ready to pull like a magnet. "This is filling!" I said simply. "May I ask your omelet bit," she asked. She gave me a thumb up "if you want to spend, I could order it again. A free charge to! "I replied. she continued to play the rolling pepper shaker. Love it spicy. "I'll take the message itself, full Bombay peppers and cheese!" she said, the road came to a chef who was busy taking orders and to receive a cooking demo. She looks Happy to make order with handsome chef. She beside me when step back now, I faithfully waited until the last second. I noticed the chef was still kept watching. I know what men think about the posture of the body healthy and attractive face that faces the typical native. all the same, would be interested in elegance. I kept watching his eyes, until she realized the girl who sat in front of them noticed ... today is the last day we became lovers. I just hope tomorrow the sun still rises in the east, even though we're separated. "Tonight we have dinner at Jimbaran ya!" I asked a little worried that if he rejected me. "Well, it would be cool!" she replied "Emmm .... But... AHHH ... not really fun with a man of white skin". Surprised to hear just confused, why do we both feel more awkward. I don’t know, myself do not know. I always count the seconds running time. The more time growing and I feel more and more narrow and shortness of breath. Even her little speech, and frequently avoided. My pain growing increasingly seconds. In fact, I often feel, to this day he's just like people who are indoctrinated with the dogma. I do not like it. I'm just resigned to all, this is what I must bear it, but I did not receive when he had to ruin it tonight. Well it's not time to break up, a nd I still have a few hours ahead to the attention of indulgence and romance to be explored. But everything is not as easy as the day the previous day, prior to this afternoon. Since we come to Bali all feel different. We like foreigners, D-did not want to close if I did not start. When we went back hotel's room I will dwell for a moment thinking about and considering that all the things about him. I looked at him that is now sitting on the sofa with a novel. That's a beautiful story that I know it's just that they do not love can unite and Zainab Hamid lovers. I went over and sat on the sofa before him exactly. Not the least able to catch his eye. She just quietly engrossed with his world sink. I bring two cups cappuccino Sacker cake complete with his favorite, who had previously been ordered from room service. In a normal nose can smell the fragrance, and usually nose will soon smell the coffee and then he grabbed it quick. But, this time would be difference. She still remained motionless temple, suddenly dumb and blind.
"Protection, under the Kakbah? Here we come .... Cappuccino Sacker cake complete with a special for you? "
Slowly his head slowly began to look through a book of his novel. Then describe for me a beautiful smile.
"You like it?" I asked in a tone faded back and try to increase the patience of an empathetic. But he's still flat
"Yah!"
"Enjoy, I'm happy if you're willing to enjoy it"
The novel is now placed on the tray beside the table. she left hand to take the existing tray, rose and kissed her. Nose smell the fragrance softly and slowly let go of her breathing lightly.
"Huge,… cake?"
"Not a problem, it's size so it is not too expensive for me!"
"Very fragrant coffee, but it seems I can not spend half the Sacker cake, so you have to spend my last!"
"No big deal, we do not have to spend! We enjoy it? "
This time I did that cuts the cake and then put on her plate. She helped keep back my share. Our hands touched accidentally. It was no accident; her eyes did not dare look at me. I'm the one who actually looked at him and pulled her hand until she fell out of balance at my chest. Her face was pale, her eyes dewy hold cloudy. Did not realize he too shed tears. Without a word, I hugged and kissed his forehead. What a sick heart. I held my emotions. In my heart I love you so much to talk D I beg you to believe. The tongue is still not talking. Locked her in the mouth. No there was one letter, which came out of my throat. Where did my voice go? Gently erase the tears and then we came back smiling
"I'm sorry emotion" as he explained quietly
"I am too! But the night still belongs to both of us even until we returned home later "
Then he left me without the slightest touch the cake. He stood on the porch. Pensive silence that's what he did. Then I went to close and hugged her from behind. My heart was pounding again, everything is flat. It's just that I held my emotions so I do not look like a weak man who lost arms. I do not want him to see anyone not brittle. The wind blew her hair, her beautiful face covered partially. "I still love you till this second ... I'm yours. So please give me smile even to day our last day! "She smiled without meaning. I know even know so much, everything feels heavy. But what I am very happy with this all I could tell that he really loves me very much indeed. I wanted to accelerate my destiny. Somehow, I just only want to know, certainty about the two of us. The direction in which God will bring us life. She was silent and then dropped her head into my chest. Really it more calm. We stood silent, looking at the huge people down there. Brightness of the sky is not bright as our hearts. I held her for a long time. I kissed her hair, her shoulders - her cheeks - and then we also quickly heat up when I was immediately hers. Then I stopped by forced slowly.
"I want you tonight you're still willing the place to dinner, we talked about this morning!" I try to describe a reason to avoid. with slowly she bring them to sunlight. Looking for the luxurious comfort of the hotel building. Gradually, we also are able to enjoy the cake back for warmth in the form of a conversation. D Well here's the real me smile. We sat down with straightens leg, I stroked her hair, so she sat quietly in front of me and then leaned at my chest. I fed her the cake, though he was busy reading a hundred percent but I'm sure he will not understand what he read. Due to twenty minutes behind none of that page. Thinking amused. The more the evening of our relationship is getting better, until dinner time dating. Her Dressed this evening so casual but still remain elegant. Only wearing faded jeans with a blue satin dress cut V. black flat shoes velvet making it beautiful. "I like your looks!" I’ll take with a gentle hands. Walking out of the hotel is both "terimakasih1". We’re intentionally hotel transportation assistance. And a bellhop drove us to the destination. I held tight the whole way. I was confident. Dinner we walked so warm without reducing the romance at all. Although we are not having dinner at a romantic place. Not for tonight. I will no longer be wearing the official coat. Only white T-shirt with denim pants suit Hugo. We also wore the same watch, Hugo boss that we bought a week ago. I've a good feeling. Jimbaran evening filled with foreign tourists. Only a few domestic tourists like us who are few. Everything looks hectic with preparation of New Year’s Eve. Many of them are toast, even drunk at evening day. Some are ready to bring fireworks to be turned on at two o'clock precisely. "Waoow ... noisy?" her voice was barely heard, very noisy here. "What? Oh yes yes yes. Really noisy ". Tonight I ordered a bottle of cabernet sauvignon. "Are you crazy?" she said after seeing the bottle I ordered. Act dumb just "what you want brandy? Or maybe the champagne? Origin is not Irish or scotch! "I’ll try to confirm if price is not a problem for me. For me, this evening to keep running even if not as romantic as romantic before. Jimbaran more night life, even many of them dancing and chanting and fell to the floor. Understandably they were drunk. Young and old - men and ladies all the same. Only two of us who a little bit staying life distance to stay out noise. Half an hour the clock will be right at twelve o'clock. We were both so engrossed holding a hand, like a pair of lovers making love. Although the time will soon run out. "We sent home tomorrow," he asked suddenly. Made me aware of myself. "Ohh yes!" I was stammering to answer the question. I am sad why he asked quickly. "Just ask?" she repeated. I’ll try to smile to cover melancholy. I wonder if it worked. She laughed again when he saw a man who fell while dancing with her partner. Very louder voices. I'm glad to hear it, but I'm also sad why he did not upset me. she was so brave, her face brightened, her cheeks flushed. Now have two glasses of wine she sips, but has not made him dizzy. "Are you drunk?" He asked me inquisitive "no, it looks like you are starting to see?" Just a guess. She smiled. Precise struck twelve nights we cried and blew saxophone water that has been distributed to visitors at a restaurant. The ears drum such as going to explode. So boisterous and noisy. Wah… very crowded. She fills his glass is empty again and this time he re-fill my glass was left a little wine. "Drink! Make your soul not to be too light weight with our separation. You know sometimes I think you seem so selfish. And just think of how you feel alone. Number so love you. Learn to understand the feelings of others. Maybe you do not know can hurt when a woman who seemed to be more than ferocious lion! "Speech started a strange from another time. I just shut up and stared at her. I knew he was drunk, but I'm sad to hear these words. No longer, and tears running to down at her cheeks. No more. She took a bottle of wine and poured it back for a fourth time. She back to drink fill it until exhausted. Then poured back to the fifth. His face was flushed. Mouth odor of alcohol. The smelled so entrenched that he spends in the air. Her carbon dioxide filled with alcohol. Almost.... "D stop. Please stop. You drunk! "I not let in when she pulled the bottle from my hand. But he's not stupid. So easily he grabbed my glass is intact. Fast, and drinking a glass of wine that "you're crazy!" I said. Quick fast I threw the remaining wine in the bottle. Greatly angered her "stupid, you know tu expensive!" she shouted me down into a chair. "D you more drunk. So I urge you to calm down, you're not crazy to embarrass yourself! "Just for a moment he was calm and still did not budge. Then a few minutes later, "I want a break!" she ask me while holding a small gift. Then I call the fatherly hotel picked us up, but then he stopped. "I want us to go to Kuta". I said yes just like that. We also did not take long until the Kuta. We just quietly sitting on white sand sat quietly watching the waves are not too tight. Kuta night too crowded lots of junk food and drinks can scattered. Many young men and women making love, set off fireworks decorate the night. We were couple the only lover who sat quietly and embraced. We spoke without looking at each other.
"I was so dizzy ... headache!"
"Are you drunk?"
"You too!"
"I'm not drunk"
"Well ... you're drunk!"
"When are you going back to Japan?"
"The third in January 2003, at five o'clock I have to Soekarno Hatta airport?"
"Why do not you go on two?"
"Tickets have been ordered at once. And incidentally I got the flight schedule is on the third! Do you mind if I was still in Indonesia? Anyway I actually still have a chance to drive the new office later. Instead of day you've had to working "
"Yah!"
"The day after tomorrow if I could take you?"
"Yah!"
"Whether the later I can still see you? I mean if I'm in Surabaya "
"Well," she paused long. Once more to swinging the swing leg humping "I hope you succeed and become a great doctor!"
"Thank you, you pray you are also successful with your life!"
"Thanks!"
"Are you going to get married as soon as possible?"
"I don’t know, my brain had not thought about it. Are you also going to get married after school finished? "
"I don’t know marriage and a lover not a major thing for me at the beginning of this year. Clear. I have to get a medical degree at least three more years! I also want to go on to Germany, and tried to find scholar seep if any? "
"Ooohhh ...! Well I hope that you get what you want right away! I would definitely say a prayer for success hyo "
"Thanks D!"
"Your welcome"
"Do we still be friends, friends?"
"Well... of course ... of course?"
"Thanks!"
"Well Hyo. Hyo if I could talk about something? "
"Well, let's say ... all will remain the same even though we are not couple lover again. But my time will be there for you. I still watch all of you! "
"We should not have to end like this, and there should not be saying goodbye as we do today. I mean we have though prison is much related. I promise I will not bother you if you do not call. "
"D .... I'm sorry; I do not bus to get this agreement. So please do not have this relationship we're talking again. I'm glad and very thankful you were willing to accompany me bahawa vacation. D Believe me, I love you and I do not regret anything about this holiday. You understand what I mean? "
"Well it was very obvious what you mean! Thanks"
I looked at her pale face, his hands shaking so cold. Reddened eyes ... very red, her heart pounding. Her skin was as cold as ice. I know what makes it so. Probably my last sentence was whipping her self-esteem. "I'm sorry D" I whispered softly. "I know, do not worry, I understand. I cried because my emotions can not help it. And my tears are no longer able to handle had been ". I still hear the description. "Thank you gift fatherly". I just smiled and nodded and stroked his face. "I hope you want to open it until after on Surabaya later! ". She too nodded obediently. "What do you mash a headache?" I asked. "no, can not make wine drunk". We cast a smiling "thank God, I do not have to carry you a long time". We laughed out loud, just cornered his left elbow into my stomach. I helped her up, and carried
That night, we both walk up to the hotel room. Luckily, the bellhop did not drive away our already ragged as beggars. We walked hand in hand toward the elevator door. There we were back in the silence; I could only watched from behind a nest full of hair falling grains of sand. Too silence, until we can hear each other snoring breath. Now her next "clearing of my thourt. Like lost my voice! "He explained casually to see me.”You're tired, you're drunk!" I said. Now he only went ahead after the elevator doors open. We then went to my room cleaned up. There was no singing in the shower as usual injunction is often heard. There are no shouts sentences for me. Only the sound of gurgling water shower that caught clear. Since there was no activity other than listening to the water, so I tidied all my stuff including clothes, laptop, charger, my journal, and some of the dictates of a very rare I read. Actually I wanted to tidy up her make-up equipment. Only, I do not know where the objects are still needed to paint her face. And a half later he came out of a full bathroom with her pajamas. "Take a bath, your body dirty! So smelling!" Sounded cool. Her attention to objects around me. I don’t know what she's thinking at this time. Her eyes shone clear sign of objection. "Jana, how we are to the airport tomorrow?" She asked as she saw me in a flat voice push the remote TV-style remote hands on her hips. Her hair was wet, combed her wet hair towel was then wrapped with ice cream cone shape. "Four o'clock. At two we check out directly to the airport. God willing, before six o'clock I have to take you home ". she did not seem to listen to my words. This heavy for me. I do not like it when he ignored me. Because of all this he never did that. Well ... I know why. Her eyes stared straight flat screen display TV’s. Her world seemed to have closed for me. I no longer wish to ignore. I also accept his advice to take a shower. Two hours later, the silence was little changed, he ordered fruit punch sized water jug, I dant know what she wants. She too prepares the rest of the Sacker cake which I bought yesterday. And there is a large white candle she put out her lamp light up. He has created so fast, coffee table in such a way to make it look pretty, though the dawn has not appeared, the sky began to look reddish orange. Azan dawn has not heard me. The table was beautifully decorated with though simple; there are two more small plates with a razor blade and fork. Each contains a piece of sacker cake with pieces strawberry, created. Middle of the table stood a crystal vase that she was dressing, full of roses yesterday my gift. Couple with candlelight. Then a box of small magnetic chess drawn up and ready to play both. As I looked at doubt ness forehead, he too looked at me again, and then looked up towards the seat to grab my hand to him. "Dinner?" I guest, but it almost was not because it was going in the morning. "This is not supper! Do you mind? "May I ask inquisitive with a threatening tone" or do you want... ". Bum rush him suspect. I do not like it; he should be able to read my eyes. "Not, I like. Really like! "I said.”Thanks! Because I thought you no longer wanted to eat together. Maybe you need a specialized learning fatherly away from me or training or whatever it's called! "She explained. The voice was fierce. I hurried to sit down in front of her. "We could be friends!" I asked over and over again "... well friend ". Now her hands were busy pouring the fruit punch fill in each goblet. "Well! Of course, initially we are also friends and at any time until we can be friends any way and in any condition! "Knot carved a smile, and before I could say something" broken thread can not be spliced! "Mouth-was locked up tight. I do not understand what he meant. But clearly I do not want to ask him about what he meant in his mind until the words came out like that. I think the show that night supper instead of dinner our last time. Without chatter romantic, and just talking about a picture of life which we will live each. I feel after it all began to feel light and not heavy. This time I will already be willing to let go of my hand. We started well again open fatherly chat. In fact we were playing chess to two sessions until morning. My mind was no longer upset like last night, so did she? At least that's what caught my eye. At breakfast we also are able to sittings sit by side together, although no one dared to hold hands. Just looked at each other, and each tasted a little chat our menu, respectively. No more concrete explanation with a smile and sit quietly without crying or debate, like bad anger feelings between us. My little heart still keeps a sense of her, although the actually I still feel that she still loved me. Her eyes have not changed, the accent is still calling my name-Hyo. At least I'm happy about it. That's what happened between us until we flew back to Surabaya.
Arriving at Heathrow airport, we hugged each other tightly. Her body was no longer shivering. No more tears melted. I'm glad she's starting strong. I'm happy that even today we still be friends as before. We walked hand in hand to bring us each trolley headed to the taxi, respectively. At first I wanted to take her home. Only he would not let me do that. So I reluctantly accepted it. Even she did not allow me to kiss her forehead just a little bit. Taxi driver helped us put our trolley, respectively. Then we get into the car ahead. Her smile was gone now, although I preceded him to smile. Insistence that smile disappeared for me. His legs kept walking towards his taxi. And I will still follow the shadow. I opened the taxi door for her. When she is entered the door "yes thanks to me first!" she said quietly, barely audible by the ears. I nodded "I can drop off and pick you up tomorrow a new office?" I asked, curious. she was silent for several seconds, until the heavy tones out "should not, please at eight o'clock you'd be right up my house". No longer saw him close the taxi door quietly. I just nod from the outside glass. My turn to get into a taxi drove the wheels to keep me back to my house, we walked consecutive taxi out of the area and then we parted he airport expressway borders. Choose a taxi driver crosses a public road, while my driver chose to bypass toll road facilities. I don’t know whether he deliberately so as not to follow me. Whatever it is is not a problem for me. And certainly I and he is now just friends. I opened my journal again, last I read one page. Then I write a new page
Surabaya, January 1, 2003
Ya… grateful thank God and thank God for you always I keep pray. You let me know more, I'll admit I still love her, and for sure I will always miss her. Along the way she always makes me smile. She's like the sun that can illuminate my world. Someday In my life, I would expect his presence. I'm happy, get to know him even though I need the process to step forward. I'll need it someday; someday I'll be back after him with my confidence. I will always set my heart for him, and not shifted from the coordinates. My blood is full of ways to love her, my mind will always be full to her happy, will never be tired to calling her name. In fact, my soul would die for her, I was ready for waiting. Of heart I will always pray for her
for my D
you are my December is the best ever after
Taxi drove me tight, I closed this sheet, relieved smile on his face reflected from the reflection. Our vacation experience is extraordinary. Arriving at home destitute greeted with delight. And ready to hear my story. But unfortunately I was reluctant to share with them. Although Dad followed me up into the room. I still did not respond. Until she realizes that I’m getting bored. Dad just told me he was ready at any time to hear our experiences.
To the next day I picked her up going to her new office. She took me into a mobile showroom a famous in her time. Its brand worldwide, Nokia's new office. "Cool!" Just out of my mouth, full of spontaneity "you're too pretty; with brown coat makes you look simple and smart! Lunch hour I'll pick you? "This time I did not help him open the car door. She had already been opened. "Thanks, you do not want to go?" She asked kindly. "Later, at lunch? I'll take you back later ". And nodded, and then waved his left hand. I’ll drive slowly from the car parking area. I’ll drive around the streets of the city, let alone my mind goes, there's no place like I went up. Even I had twice passed Gempol toll road and then back again in the direction of Surabaya. Maybe, because I'm confused. I stopped at the flower market, bought a small bouquet of white roses mixed with red. Deliberately chosen scarlet ribbon without greeting cards, as they are slipped in between them. Right at one o'clock, I went back. After I parked the car in the correct place I will rush me into a room full of people who are queuing to buy or repair fatherly product phones with the same brand. I looked around the room and I watched carefully from the visitors, showcase, brochure, banner promo to customer service is on duty. Well right end of the building I found, was sit sweet, rigid style, dress neatly and as serious as that in the future customer. The entire gallery on display so completely. Starting from the latest collection to the longest product. Deliberately chosen an empty bench, a distance not too far from her field of vision. When he was aware of my arrival, he too smiled at me and then looked at the flowers that I brought for her, she’s mouth to say something. Wait a minute, after her lips utter it so. All around many people who smiled at me, I don’t know why. But maybe it's because I brought these flowers. There was a young lady’s glanced at me, and then look for where first looking toward my eyes stuck. And after he realized, her smiled and turned toward the young man that is next to them. Still confused and I don’t know what she whispered, I did not hear it. I just smiled back at her figure caught was watching. Half an hour passed he too had completed its work. We also enjoyed lunch soon at a junk food restaurant in the same place where once the first time I took her lunch. Nothing intense like before when us meeting to day. All seemed normal, like old friends who just met. Obviously a bit awkward. I also promised to meet him at the office before I left Indonesia.
Today is my last set foot in this city, last night I could barely sleep. Still thinking about it. Today I am busy preparing the entire luggage; I just take the time to call her fatherly moment. Releasing her longing. It felt like laughing alone. How could I not, yet I left, but it missed. These feelings should I press in such a way, however I have to hold all its forms. After all is ready, I will took me to see my family just to say goodbye. Very hard to leave it all, but I have to. I do not want to hurt myself. As long as there is an opportunity would be after. Now and this minute I remove my love to him as much as possible, I do not want to hardcore anymore. It is still debated and quite volatile in the liver. But I'm sure, next time I'll get over it.
Proper lunch, I took time to visit dating back then took her to lunch. But this time, I did not visit his office. I promised to meet in a record store that was next to his office exactly. Well that's where we met. I sent the message twice already, half an hour to wait before she could see me. "Sorry, its customers too much, and I'm a little uncomfortable having to rest early" stands as the person being asked for the forgiveness of sins. I pulled her hand away and kissed and hugged tightly close "D I'll miss you, always" came back the blue chest tightness difficulty breathing. My body shivered as she said it tastes like. Only two white roses I give a burgundy-colored rope. She's just quiet in my arms, with tears. Fortunately no one ever looks at theatrical around us. Until I decided to take her away to nice park fatherly town near the museum. There, we chatted a bit, and emotional release. This is where I realized fully. That I still love her. Still hurt to see him I took off just like that. "I still love you hyo! You still my first love" her tears fell in my ears, a small box of beautifully wrapped box with a blue cover, it provides for me. She did not say what was in it. But clearly it would be very valuable for me. "Excuse me; I can not take you to the airport!" she said. I smiled and hugged back. I almost do not care even if policemen watching us, even a small percentage of people who whisper about relax our garden. It's not their business, and it's also not my concern. "No big deal if you couldn’t take me, I know you're a new employee who is subject to company rules, without being able to ...". She said just like that without looking at me "is not the case, that problem is difficult for me ... will definitely have to control my emotions when I see you left me two more times to the same place and same airport the terminal?" Description is increasingly, make me congested. "I hope that I can give to make you comfortable, and can you function there. I would love if you like it! ". His head looked down at the grass under her feet. "Sure!" I said quickly. "You do not have to take me, seems to have reached your Volvo and parked there?" She pointed a black car, the driver is ready doing not know. But clearly it is indeed my car. "Taxi in front of the already ordered, so you should not take me" and now standing in front of me and bow before me exactly to kiss me. I sat quietly and without any particular expression. Below freezing although the suns rise. "You be careful!" My messages “do not forget our December, because I have absolutely no one will ever forget even just a second, happened, because I was living with that memory". She smiled and watched me kiss me again. "Well," she said, is directed backward step foot wave came and ran a small taxi. I wanted to impede his footsteps, but I do not want to extend it another day. I leave it alone left me. Oh god what have I done with a girl like her? What? Selfish! I cried silently clenched his fists. I sprinted to catch up, then hinder from her into the taxi. Turn her away without a balance, I kissed her. Well it turns out I can still is warm. She too just to let my kisses landed with a well done. That I want. I crushed her lips, kissed his forehead fatherly moment "I'm done!" I replied. "I know!" She said with a smile and carries away the flowers that I have given. Full deeper meaning flowers eternal friendship without limits. Now she goes with her taxi. I know, she's definitely crying, hat eyes must be red. What will he say when his friends ask him about it. I do not know did not know I do not know and I do not have the answer. I'm still sitting pensively this garden with Yogi. He did not say much, just wait me with boredom. That's why his ears covered by the play list is a music headset. I was silent for a long time without chat. I'm confused by this. "Drink first, so you get oxygen!" She gave a bottle of water when oxygen is still sealed. Without saying anything, I opened the bottle and seal well spent without leaving a even only one drop. Five minutes I passed asked her out. "Take me now". he nodded and immediately driving my Volvo as tight as possible. I did not even yell when he drove zig zag manner. Had died I'm ready.
Forty-eight hours later I arrived at Juanda, yogi takes me while helping to bring some of my stuff without the help of trolley. "I'll miss you!" He said, trying to solve my musings. "I definitely miss you!" I said. I hugged she closely and I tapped his shoulder pat. I kissed her cheek. He's the most wonderful brother, even though I hated her mother. But I love my son who is now my half brother. I waved my hand from a distance, stepping reluctantly leave Surabaya. Leave it all, I'm very sad to leave. The separation this time is very painful for me. I’m very dislike the previous separation. Know the last two. This time it all feels forced and should I force, hopefully I'm not one step. My first flight was re-visit the Soekarno-Hatta airport to Tokyo
Every dark light am followed by a light morning.
Love you D
24 DECEMBER 2002
I guess when it was enough, I will come out of the bath tub, I put away my notes over the phone with the shirt underneath. I turned on the shower, cleaning foam that sticks in my skin. I was more comfortable with this. I’ve spilled everything on a page book.
God knows who is knocking on my room; I just say "go!" I yelled from the bathroom. "I Hyo? Make up that clear. So if you get out of there? "She shouted. I already know who he is. I just smiled at her when I came out naked, He would scream. So I decided just to wear a towel. Even I did not bring a single sheet "yeah I know ethics," I yelled annoyed. He laughed, I ignored it. When I came out he was standing to bring suit I wear. I still care” I’m going out; I was waiting in front of the pond. I still have not stopped believing in what I see. Make her wet hair look sexy even without make up. I look through the window; he was sitting alongside a pond. Played with the feet to water pool. I love you I whispered to myself. I wear clothes that have been chosen, we were both wearing white pants with a different employer.
"Let's see grandparents, tomorrow we go?’Take me
"Yeahh ...!"
The three of us to chatted middle of the yard near the pond, I am happy because she can merge with man indigenous people such as grandparents. Apparently he's also pretty smart high Javanese language. We ate and talked to and fro, occasionally grandparent’s smile of satisfaction to me about it, I also occasionally see a charming smile. My heart wanted to scream when it realized the depletion of our time together. Should I prove along time with her time, should a marriage her now? I'll give him to eat what? What if I'm not happy he is? Love is not enough? I shouted to myself
"You seem tired, get a rest please, we continue the conversation tomorrow, oh yes please bring me some cake Yati, fresh from the open special for them. Don’t forget right, let me be eat some, do note let your stomach is empty!" her message as she walked away leaving us. Yati will follow up to chamber grandparent.
"Let's walk you back to the room?" Take me "or do you want I carried?" He shook his head, trying to smile limply holding drowsiness. "You seem heavy sleepy," I just make sure. She will be walk you back to the room, with no strings attached directly he too lay in bed with sleeping. I pulled the blankets, just to warm her bed. "Good night, sweat dream!" I will immediately leave the room. I’m very sleepy sense, did not take long to drown my soul to dreamland till the sun. Early morning I woke up, who knows what woke me up. But clearly, I dreamed that she was rejecting me when I say love him, I was. When I saw her, there was a small boy came up and said if I was a friend of his mother? My eyes continued to stare. I drank several glasses of water; I drank too few small a glass of sake that I brought from Japan. I’ll tried to cooling down, probably half of me. Just keep Silent or a moment, staring at the window of his room without turning on the lights. The room was still quiet no noise whatsoever, although it looks Yati had cleared its front page. I grabbed my notes again, I turned my laptop, and no lighting is turned on.
i am here for you, stay for you ... only for your entertainment
I am crazy over you
my love is deep like Oceans, I do not have a ship when you leave me
I can not breathing when you done with me.
You can changes me, my heart is blind without you
You always going to be my part
I just want you beside me until get my hair white colors
And hold you in my arms, never let you go
Without surrender
Did you want there with me, when I need you
Just do like I do
Coz I’m going to always there when you need me
I'm promises
What ever it takes
I love you till I'm dying
Yogyakarta
25desember'2002
My heart has not been quiet about it all, despite being spilled all my feelings on this sheet. I want to get more freshness and I know what it is.
I last raced in a pool just me in the pool, Yanti and Parmin until screams when they look at me. Not at all do I just care with them. Although the wet floor runs to dry "just makes surprise?" Shouted Parmin. While being frantically to calm his wife. "What wrong with you. I just can’t buy it some from?” she yelled at me. I immediately pulled over to hear the third. he was now squatting over my face looking at me with glassy, his eyelids look cloudy, whether s fell what I feel. Does she dream of the same? I do not know I do not know. I just kept looking at his face. "You what?" she asked, truly concerned. "I was swimming in the morning!" I laid without catch her bold face; I will stay away from one meter. "No, you're wearing a full dress, so it is not possible if you intend what for ...” I quietly went back to get it. "What is it? Please say to me? "She asked again. "Why you look so stubborn?" she asked again. And now she's walking away leave me entered the room without ignores me. I feel a little hurt, especially when he left as he slammed the door. I do not care; bury me in the pool around the pond. Until the fifth round, I get out and she’s room. Wet without a towel. I found she was in tears for me, when I tried to wet hugged her, her body warm me.
"What-you-will ... You ... we want to break up now?" She said stumbled brick
"Of course not, we still have time, and I still love you so much?"
"What are you doing this morning?"
"I was just a nightmare, believe me I mash can overcome all this, what do you want come back again, when the new year?"
"I went along!"
"Okay we'll go on 30, or you go back to Jakarta ma?"
"Up, where's all that matters we are together!"
"Thanks!"
"Change your clothes, there seems to be one of dry clothes in my bag in one set, not to catch the oddity your grandparents!"
She issued a complete suit of underwear. The possibility that our clothes last through the laundry room service while in Jakarta. I washed myself in the bathroom, the smell of sandal wood therapy like I was wearing last night. My heart feels tranquil, found her scent, racial concerns are not clear, did not realize my nose bleed, I feel like I'm bleeding. I look up the sky then I rested my head into the bath tub. Just hold the blood that is not too much out... I picked my clothes, to keep his blood. I held some time to no longer come out, and then I will finish with the affairs of my bathroom. And when I'm out. "You all right?" she asked. "Well," I said simply. "... No of course not, because the blood of your clothes from of your nose!" she came up behind me to take the existing tissue. He pulled his sleeping bag bed that is neat. "You're bleeding!" she said, putting cotton and pulling it slowly. "This is just pure eucalyptus oil! Blood may soon stop!" she called back. "Calm down! I'll get you a drink. To avoid dehydration ". How happy I am to see a very close attention. This is an elixir for me who have been injured by the reflection of himself. "Do not think anything kind. If you think I'm not too deep. Believe me I will love you if you loved me, blah does not then we still be friends like the beginning! "He continued. I was silent though a little twitch.
Since then, I'm increasingly trying to control myself not to be too weak. We live the rest of the time we were together for more happiness remains unforgettable, after breakfast, I asked around Yogyakarta, we bring a new set of clothes each, visit Parangtritis, Grojogan sewu, visit the garden sari. Not a single action that we did not capture. Everything was beautiful. On the second day we also visit Borobudur temple, where we talked a long time to sleep on the grass around the courtyard of the temple, in the evening we passed the palace of Yogyakarta by trying to pass through the twin banyan tree with eyes closed. Many myths about the tree, but I do not believe it completely. She failed to get past the tree, but I'm glad I got through it with closed eye. "You're great!" She says, pinching my cheek. "Ahh ... just a chance, try again you will be successful, do not give up. Thomas Edison alpha alone does not give up creating a light! "I say to comfort her.
She smiled "I'm hungry!" She said, "I want meatballs, I have not been eating meatballs! But the solo models yes, there's vegetable". We also look around the UGM area, how nice to see him enjoy his food. "You are like the hungry!" I smiled at her. "Of course, how not, your uterus Caucasian’ cuisine constantly ask me, I think my tongue is long archipelago cuisine!" She answered spontaneously and straightforward. "Desy love, loss and less I stay five star hotel rooms, but the food tastes to choose the archipelago. Besides not really too familiar with the ala carte western! "I said. She smiled "you know hyo, almost a month now my tongue twisted with spicy basil dish, Tabasco, oregano, Thyme, paprika". Her elbow towards my stomach "it’s hurt D!" I cried slowed, deliberately did not say out loud. "Oh my…. all, you are ...” she just quietly enjoying the meatballs. Well meatball, long time since I did not enjoy it, since a long time. Last time I ate meatballs with Java is on the road three years ago. I forgot what it was like bulb, fried foods, and tofu, dumplings. I'm glad to see him enjoy the meatballs, all of which appear so innocent. How nice people can be happy when our loved ones. This world seemed full of warm love. "Hurry up finish your bakso, escorted me to the market this Klewer out, would ya? Did you want ... “Hurry once her, I wonder. What would it she buy at market. To be honest I'm not too comfortable when shopping place like that. Not a market problem that that I’m think. But many people are crowded there. It was just make me didn’t get some a fresh air, she knows it or not. I certainly did not show my comfort less was she calling. "Could you?" she asked me like spy. I’m just nodded in agreement, occasionally one spoon my bakso soup, continues back. And take my young coconut ice. "I'd order another glass of ice so it?" she said whining. "Well, five glasses also does not matter as long as your stomach can hold?" I feel like smiling showing my white teeth. "I think you're trash!" she answered half furious. Today we joked as often as possible, is increasingly close to the separation. If time could stop. Will he continue with me, I pondered for a long time? Until two hours later, we got out of the pavement cafes. Back to travel. This trip is different from our previous route, always luxurious facilities. I don’t know that is over how much of my money, but really is not the problem until the second I breathe. Yet to feel the slightest sense of remorse about what I had done in his presence.
Enjoy an evening together seemed so fantastic and adrenaline as he could animate. Although it is not very clear in his eyes. My confidence grew when he was with me. Will all always like this, would think that we feel will always remain the same at any time without fade just a little bit. Just talking alone silently mouthed with my self. I’ll drive my car with fast cars but full of alertness, I’ll break through the dark with the light of stars. My heart was beating again full of hope full of dreams ... "are we'll be together?" I said when I heard he just turned and stared at me intently almost ready to bow towards the goal of my pupils. Heavy breathing back out of his nose, it feels really heavy when he says something. "Don’t know, you always put your dreams than your love?" The answer is so attacked more power, and I have not had said new answer, eyes return to condense from behind her blue Rodenstock. I wish I had asked about it. But it can not I lied when the trough deepened my love I felt with him. Almost, I can’t pause at all to thinking about healthy. "You are my dream!" I said softly as I stopped my car suddenly at the end of the road pavement downtown Yogya. We were both silent. "Still, for now! But for the future you do not necessarily feel the same! Only have I emphasized once again, I love you so much ... so… Than before I saw you back at once, I do not know since when I feel like that because I'm not sure ". Description of his heart so deep at my ears up without realizing she was a little hurt my feeling until my brain feels like a burden. "I love you" I even like, my love deeper than him. I'm just not an easy man to express love and show it by way of excess. "Thank you!" she said. That answer sounds flat without emotional emphasis. "What if we are going to Parangtritis!" she suggested while trying to change the atmosphere of the blue that is not too much mellow. "This evening," I asked a little surprised and then I looked again his face is now bright. "Okay princess" I replied.
Pushing up toned back the pace of my car, all four wheels chasing each other with a gentle evening dust and dry leaves are falling. the beauty tonight you gave me tonight. We also got Parangtritis, get out and enjoy the beautiful beaches, said the Parangtritis smells magical and deeply felt when we visited at night. But it does not apply to me. Magical thing that I felt was she smiling at there, we chatted, joked and occasionally I smell it. Honey comes out of his lips seemed like paradise artificial honey. It feels so perfect. None have forgotten to capture. We bathed in moonlight, and splash of stars, the wind seemed to whisper that he is a real place for harbor. Because the wind I can smell him and because the wind was too long black hair whipping my face that has been insolent kisses. It was felt amused to imagine something that is beyond my limits. It is remarkable atmosphere that we feel. My heart was racing more when she laid her head back right in the heart of my heart. Kept shaking my pulse, my blood ran cold. Although the evening, sea breeze provide warmth for us. Somehow I feel like a prince valiant Hector, I also feel as beautiful as the Prophet Joseph. Really, amazing perfect. I realized I loved her. I'm madly crazy about it. And I feel so alive when he turned my soul is dead. I do not care even if she is not important in this world but he is the most important thing my world. Sound waves are used to provide coolness for me, but sounds like a really great tornado that struck the roar of nature. Animate the soul of my youth. I remembered a little, according to rumor every unmarried couple will break up after a visit Parangtritis. But I can’t tell her anything about her. I do not want him to have thought the opposite to me that whatever its form.
The next morning we had breakfast together three daughters’ grandparents, nothing too special but his face is bright with happiness. All menus that have inspire no one other than the greeting. He really knows how to make fatherly smile, I was embarrassed when she look at me with sharpness like an arrow, so he is embarrassed when suddenly, just find me being caught staring motion. Perfect I say softly, grandparent immediately greeted me as he followed the Yati into the kitchen to prepare a bowl of soup. "She seems like a serimpi dancer who is ready anesthetize the king with his movement," so casually thrown to the new sentence could be soaked after ten seconds later "... Really what the grandparents! You indeed been different from the same like your moms! Grandparents grandchildren inherit true nature and character of arrogance ". She said again while chewing betel leaf which apply to his mouth smeared with rotating motion over and over again. I can only smile and shame that no measure. Silence is the best should I do now. Grandmother is very smart judge my psyche. "Oh my gosh…you really ... in love!" Accent in a thick Javanese language.
Two hours later we went to Yogya Taman sari, enjoying the typical view of the kingdom magnificent Javanese culture. Keep stylish and good looking. Then I will get spoiled by my goddess the object with my camera analog. Currently nothing can be tempting me than her, "I like this place?" Ordinary. I just smiled with a nod. We re walk alone together to visit garden area then sat there stone at chairs we were sitting close together leaning back on a stone back, holding her hand is a wonderful I got to do his routine. I do not want to lose one moment of romance with him. Because she is an icon of my love in my life. His name as an inscription carved in my heart. I can only hope the same thing. "What you do not want to Japan?" I asked suddenly. Open, its mean shocked by my question. "Why? I do not have a passport; I have no purpose besides visiting! "He stammered brick, and hid his face from my eyes.”Just for a long vacation! With me ... together! "I said seriously, for some reason it's just a stupid question out of my mouth. I felt my heart beat is undergoing a medical test exam. We were silent for a moment, until she stood in front of me exactly with circular her hand at my shoulders. We each threw a sharp glance vibration, his mouth slightly agape and then "I will visit you wherever you call me, if it is pure of conscience!" The answer was so loud hard slap. My lips are sealed, and then he left again, such as tingling and my legs could barely an inch more closer-one until a few seconds. Once realized, I will go back chasing his shadow, "do you want to wait for me?" I asked, curious. "Dependent?" Motion is so lively. "What?" I really hunted curiosity. But I never received an answer until now. She just smiled, how I growled. But I do not have the guts to pursue the answer. Because every time he asked me, I always hang up the answer. That was what made me to take into account the question again. Moreover December will soon be over fatherly few days, the end of December was the end of the first relationship we became lovers. How sad when I feel the time is so fleeting. It's hard for me to understand all this. We visited Grojogan sewu, to enjoy the waterfall. All taste the same, wherever he is fatherly with me. Then my life will take place with full of wonderful perfection. I felt like the world could hold, I felt so happy with the Garden of Eden. Hanging gardens of Babylon will not make me happy to live without it. All because of, she possessed magical, and all that attached to him so easily witch. Today is our last day in Yogya, because tomorrow our goal is Buleleng Bali or Jakarta Ismail Marzuki visits the park to enjoy an operetta that he liked. But until this moment we have not decided our goal. Until ...
"I actually wanted to look at the Ismail Marzuki theatrical. It's just that-for some reason I seem to want to follow you go to Buleleng. Or maybe you already have the final decision! "
"I do not know, I'd prefer if you are into the tour guide!"
We walked down a street full of grass and sat down on the grass wet with dew.
"I'm confused!" He added plaintively
Shut up and think that's what I did, I took my laptop started looking for some of the same type of entertainment at night with our new year. My head is a dead end; no one wants the nerve to think I'm taking. There is no syndrome related to work together.
"You can goggling it?" Was his advice
Re-typing my hand, looking for entertainment in Bali and Jakarta? Then, try to looking some entertainment promo at website. But actually she became confused and bewildered to choose.
"You're it!" I answered
she fell silent again, so was I. But I believe if I tell you what, until the end no one wants to make a decision. To be honest I'd love to Bali, but I prefer when he decided. But this is not easy for us with limited time we had. This beauty will soon be over in a matter of two days.
"What if we suit?" He suggested while showing off his teeth intact.
"Deal!" I thought fair
One two three we show the same finger, no difference
"Suit up to ten!" He said
God picked him to win finally beat me. I smiled even though her mouth pursed ruefully.
"Decide now?" I
she nodded, obey
"If we can stay in Jakarta in Honor, I'm booking now will fund. And if you want a bali, then I will order Nusa Dua. That we are not going too far away from Jimbaran, now the New Year. Beautiful beaches there are still visible especially at night "I suggest a dictionary just to give additional
"Okay, I chose Bali. The rest you are set. Right now we can make flight departure. Sooner, right! "
That's why I just nodded in agreement. we rushed to get tickets for the flight tomorrow morning, then book a hotel room in Nusa Dua for tomorrow, after all is finished, he again asked me to enjoy the meatballs are sidelines road of solo. No tents around it. just a meatball wagon parked alongside a curb. I parked the car also was forced to the front edge of the cart. Suddenly, she casually out of the car, with a cheerful smile without sin. I’m ordering two bowls of meatballs with a different content types menu.
"Where to eat? 'I asked, confused. And she replied lightly. "Here is more delicious taste?" He said while lounging on the sidewalk without any reason. "Where," I guess while you guess. She smiled as her eyes glanced at me to following her sit and approached with a bowl of meatballs solo. Exactly as I expected he would definitely took me out to the side of the road. She smiled, bleak I objection. "If you do not want you to eat in your white Volvo" he replied bluntly without a glance. Crazy idea but I like it. I agree, I do not want to hurt her, I always want to pass all requests. "So, my sweat!" she chuckled. I just smiled wryly and was invited back laughter.
Promptly at three o'clock, we arrived in Bali for the second time. Our arrival, to completing v days at last two days, of our December. Grandparent today is actually our mind to leave it off. But I kept forcing it. I promised to visit her again after a medical degree can I pocket. I joke I'll come begging blessing prayer for married D. Grandmother smiled and kissed us and hugged me tightly. My grand mom knows if I avoid poor wife will be visiting us in Yogya. All knew I always disagreed with that woman. And I'm very hate, I feel like an enemy that must be avoided. I really do not like me even a little hate.
Our flight went smoothly. No interference at all even when I got in Nusa Dua we also directly competing pool. Unwind with very pleasant water. She shadowed me with heavier flavor release it. Candle light diner, mini style is very different from what we've done. No chat, just that we are silent tonight. Food menu is still intact, just steak we've cut into small pieces. Our facial expression was almost no difference, shadow separation clung me back shortly from the lapse of time walking me back to smile at the thought of my success to get a medical degree from Japan, how glad I whispered to myself. She smiled to see me smile. we could not cram one tablespoon of the mouth of our food. "Dance with me!" Take me calm. We danced to some songs detour from Careless Whisper - beauty and the beast - what a wonderful world. All wonderful sound in my heart "you're beautiful tonight" I whispered to the dance floor "you are full of fragrant charm!" I continued. She was silent, but her arms tightly wrapped my body back. It felt so warm, the more grief etched in my heart, I felt all such shady "something inside my head so Blue!" She said, her tears fell upon my shoulders. sorry I've hurt you, but believe me you will always be the queen of my heart until the mountains crumble, sea water dry up, and doors open sky. Only death can make me stop loving you I told myself. I will hug him tightly, "I love you!" I whispered softly, and she did not budge at all. My chest felt tight, I'm trying to stem the tears that did not come out, but the more I held, more and harder to breathe. We continue embrace quietly. The night was really touching. I could barely sleep so did she? We spent time together around the angle. Although we rented a room, still we are on the streets day and night sticking togetherness. At last visit we went to Buleleng. We spent almost all day. Getting closer to the day separation none of us much to say, none of us tells a funny story and none of us ban together with something we normally hate. Especially me, I'm getting stopped in silence and just hug me comfort to my soul energy neutralization. Though we were walking arm in arm we each felt like a stranger who'd just met. Harder to feeling No more beautiful smile, her eyes no longer sharp, persistence seemed to fade away in the wind my soul. Buleleng romance that I do not think we've ever been perfectly a week ago. I feel like screaming but I realize this is all my work. Then, it just me who can decide all eventually. I'm just a director who wanted a story ending with sadness. I show my dark side continuously with a blanket conceit.
Exactly on the date December 31 we went to restaurant taking fatherly breakfast ration. I gave him a small gift of silver contained in them are typical of Borneo has been written
My Love D
I love what you are
I'm always getting dizzy when I'm over you Thinking
just trust me I love you more than my self
I love you love you
I Hope that you can always feel like what I feel
it's hard to say goodbye
My tongue does not speak
that's really WHO I am
dear I just won’t you ever forget me, do not ever
my poor angel.. Trust me we can to be come one... Next year
just have me with your best looks
dear....
I can not keep my eyes of you
your heart
Hyo
Bali December 31, 2002
my eyes could not imagine with all the will I see. My mind is still dreamy. Picture of fear and disappointment made me shudder when going to deliver the letter. I just determinate my self, to refuse this action until tonight. So even I’m not giving this gift. "Buffet" I asked. Then he came up to me "Well, are you a service package our ordered continental!" she said without a smile. It was a proud woman I thought. I continued to follow him until he re-took the table near the window. a bowl of porridge with lots of chicken soup that's penchant morning. "Omelet only baked potato and sausage and all!" she asked with a smile. "You should smile than before, so I do not freeze?" I replied a bit annoyed but relieved. His smile was full of spells that are ready to pull like a magnet. "This is filling!" I said simply. "May I ask your omelet bit," she asked. She gave me a thumb up "if you want to spend, I could order it again. A free charge to! "I replied. she continued to play the rolling pepper shaker. Love it spicy. "I'll take the message itself, full Bombay peppers and cheese!" she said, the road came to a chef who was busy taking orders and to receive a cooking demo. She looks Happy to make order with handsome chef. She beside me when step back now, I faithfully waited until the last second. I noticed the chef was still kept watching. I know what men think about the posture of the body healthy and attractive face that faces the typical native. all the same, would be interested in elegance. I kept watching his eyes, until she realized the girl who sat in front of them noticed ... today is the last day we became lovers. I just hope tomorrow the sun still rises in the east, even though we're separated. "Tonight we have dinner at Jimbaran ya!" I asked a little worried that if he rejected me. "Well, it would be cool!" she replied "Emmm .... But... AHHH ... not really fun with a man of white skin". Surprised to hear just confused, why do we both feel more awkward. I don’t know, myself do not know. I always count the seconds running time. The more time growing and I feel more and more narrow and shortness of breath. Even her little speech, and frequently avoided. My pain growing increasingly seconds. In fact, I often feel, to this day he's just like people who are indoctrinated with the dogma. I do not like it. I'm just resigned to all, this is what I must bear it, but I did not receive when he had to ruin it tonight. Well it's not time to break up, a nd I still have a few hours ahead to the attention of indulgence and romance to be explored. But everything is not as easy as the day the previous day, prior to this afternoon. Since we come to Bali all feel different. We like foreigners, D-did not want to close if I did not start. When we went back hotel's room I will dwell for a moment thinking about and considering that all the things about him. I looked at him that is now sitting on the sofa with a novel. That's a beautiful story that I know it's just that they do not love can unite and Zainab Hamid lovers. I went over and sat on the sofa before him exactly. Not the least able to catch his eye. She just quietly engrossed with his world sink. I bring two cups cappuccino Sacker cake complete with his favorite, who had previously been ordered from room service. In a normal nose can smell the fragrance, and usually nose will soon smell the coffee and then he grabbed it quick. But, this time would be difference. She still remained motionless temple, suddenly dumb and blind.
"Protection, under the Kakbah? Here we come .... Cappuccino Sacker cake complete with a special for you? "
Slowly his head slowly began to look through a book of his novel. Then describe for me a beautiful smile.
"You like it?" I asked in a tone faded back and try to increase the patience of an empathetic. But he's still flat
"Yah!"
"Enjoy, I'm happy if you're willing to enjoy it"
The novel is now placed on the tray beside the table. she left hand to take the existing tray, rose and kissed her. Nose smell the fragrance softly and slowly let go of her breathing lightly.
"Huge,… cake?"
"Not a problem, it's size so it is not too expensive for me!"
"Very fragrant coffee, but it seems I can not spend half the Sacker cake, so you have to spend my last!"
"No big deal, we do not have to spend! We enjoy it? "
This time I did that cuts the cake and then put on her plate. She helped keep back my share. Our hands touched accidentally. It was no accident; her eyes did not dare look at me. I'm the one who actually looked at him and pulled her hand until she fell out of balance at my chest. Her face was pale, her eyes dewy hold cloudy. Did not realize he too shed tears. Without a word, I hugged and kissed his forehead. What a sick heart. I held my emotions. In my heart I love you so much to talk D I beg you to believe. The tongue is still not talking. Locked her in the mouth. No there was one letter, which came out of my throat. Where did my voice go? Gently erase the tears and then we came back smiling
"I'm sorry emotion" as he explained quietly
"I am too! But the night still belongs to both of us even until we returned home later "
Then he left me without the slightest touch the cake. He stood on the porch. Pensive silence that's what he did. Then I went to close and hugged her from behind. My heart was pounding again, everything is flat. It's just that I held my emotions so I do not look like a weak man who lost arms. I do not want him to see anyone not brittle. The wind blew her hair, her beautiful face covered partially. "I still love you till this second ... I'm yours. So please give me smile even to day our last day! "She smiled without meaning. I know even know so much, everything feels heavy. But what I am very happy with this all I could tell that he really loves me very much indeed. I wanted to accelerate my destiny. Somehow, I just only want to know, certainty about the two of us. The direction in which God will bring us life. She was silent and then dropped her head into my chest. Really it more calm. We stood silent, looking at the huge people down there. Brightness of the sky is not bright as our hearts. I held her for a long time. I kissed her hair, her shoulders - her cheeks - and then we also quickly heat up when I was immediately hers. Then I stopped by forced slowly.
"I want you tonight you're still willing the place to dinner, we talked about this morning!" I try to describe a reason to avoid. with slowly she bring them to sunlight. Looking for the luxurious comfort of the hotel building. Gradually, we also are able to enjoy the cake back for warmth in the form of a conversation. D Well here's the real me smile. We sat down with straightens leg, I stroked her hair, so she sat quietly in front of me and then leaned at my chest. I fed her the cake, though he was busy reading a hundred percent but I'm sure he will not understand what he read. Due to twenty minutes behind none of that page. Thinking amused. The more the evening of our relationship is getting better, until dinner time dating. Her Dressed this evening so casual but still remain elegant. Only wearing faded jeans with a blue satin dress cut V. black flat shoes velvet making it beautiful. "I like your looks!" I’ll take with a gentle hands. Walking out of the hotel is both "terimakasih1". We’re intentionally hotel transportation assistance. And a bellhop drove us to the destination. I held tight the whole way. I was confident. Dinner we walked so warm without reducing the romance at all. Although we are not having dinner at a romantic place. Not for tonight. I will no longer be wearing the official coat. Only white T-shirt with denim pants suit Hugo. We also wore the same watch, Hugo boss that we bought a week ago. I've a good feeling. Jimbaran evening filled with foreign tourists. Only a few domestic tourists like us who are few. Everything looks hectic with preparation of New Year’s Eve. Many of them are toast, even drunk at evening day. Some are ready to bring fireworks to be turned on at two o'clock precisely. "Waoow ... noisy?" her voice was barely heard, very noisy here. "What? Oh yes yes yes. Really noisy ". Tonight I ordered a bottle of cabernet sauvignon. "Are you crazy?" she said after seeing the bottle I ordered. Act dumb just "what you want brandy? Or maybe the champagne? Origin is not Irish or scotch! "I’ll try to confirm if price is not a problem for me. For me, this evening to keep running even if not as romantic as romantic before. Jimbaran more night life, even many of them dancing and chanting and fell to the floor. Understandably they were drunk. Young and old - men and ladies all the same. Only two of us who a little bit staying life distance to stay out noise. Half an hour the clock will be right at twelve o'clock. We were both so engrossed holding a hand, like a pair of lovers making love. Although the time will soon run out. "We sent home tomorrow," he asked suddenly. Made me aware of myself. "Ohh yes!" I was stammering to answer the question. I am sad why he asked quickly. "Just ask?" she repeated. I’ll try to smile to cover melancholy. I wonder if it worked. She laughed again when he saw a man who fell while dancing with her partner. Very louder voices. I'm glad to hear it, but I'm also sad why he did not upset me. she was so brave, her face brightened, her cheeks flushed. Now have two glasses of wine she sips, but has not made him dizzy. "Are you drunk?" He asked me inquisitive "no, it looks like you are starting to see?" Just a guess. She smiled. Precise struck twelve nights we cried and blew saxophone water that has been distributed to visitors at a restaurant. The ears drum such as going to explode. So boisterous and noisy. Wah… very crowded. She fills his glass is empty again and this time he re-fill my glass was left a little wine. "Drink! Make your soul not to be too light weight with our separation. You know sometimes I think you seem so selfish. And just think of how you feel alone. Number so love you. Learn to understand the feelings of others. Maybe you do not know can hurt when a woman who seemed to be more than ferocious lion! "Speech started a strange from another time. I just shut up and stared at her. I knew he was drunk, but I'm sad to hear these words. No longer, and tears running to down at her cheeks. No more. She took a bottle of wine and poured it back for a fourth time. She back to drink fill it until exhausted. Then poured back to the fifth. His face was flushed. Mouth odor of alcohol. The smelled so entrenched that he spends in the air. Her carbon dioxide filled with alcohol. Almost.... "D stop. Please stop. You drunk! "I not let in when she pulled the bottle from my hand. But he's not stupid. So easily he grabbed my glass is intact. Fast, and drinking a glass of wine that "you're crazy!" I said. Quick fast I threw the remaining wine in the bottle. Greatly angered her "stupid, you know tu expensive!" she shouted me down into a chair. "D you more drunk. So I urge you to calm down, you're not crazy to embarrass yourself! "Just for a moment he was calm and still did not budge. Then a few minutes later, "I want a break!" she ask me while holding a small gift. Then I call the fatherly hotel picked us up, but then he stopped. "I want us to go to Kuta". I said yes just like that. We also did not take long until the Kuta. We just quietly sitting on white sand sat quietly watching the waves are not too tight. Kuta night too crowded lots of junk food and drinks can scattered. Many young men and women making love, set off fireworks decorate the night. We were couple the only lover who sat quietly and embraced. We spoke without looking at each other.
"I was so dizzy ... headache!"
"Are you drunk?"
"You too!"
"I'm not drunk"
"Well ... you're drunk!"
"When are you going back to Japan?"
"The third in January 2003, at five o'clock I have to Soekarno Hatta airport?"
"Why do not you go on two?"
"Tickets have been ordered at once. And incidentally I got the flight schedule is on the third! Do you mind if I was still in Indonesia? Anyway I actually still have a chance to drive the new office later. Instead of day you've had to working "
"Yah!"
"The day after tomorrow if I could take you?"
"Yah!"
"Whether the later I can still see you? I mean if I'm in Surabaya "
"Well," she paused long. Once more to swinging the swing leg humping "I hope you succeed and become a great doctor!"
"Thank you, you pray you are also successful with your life!"
"Thanks!"
"Are you going to get married as soon as possible?"
"I don’t know, my brain had not thought about it. Are you also going to get married after school finished? "
"I don’t know marriage and a lover not a major thing for me at the beginning of this year. Clear. I have to get a medical degree at least three more years! I also want to go on to Germany, and tried to find scholar seep if any? "
"Ooohhh ...! Well I hope that you get what you want right away! I would definitely say a prayer for success hyo "
"Thanks D!"
"Your welcome"
"Do we still be friends, friends?"
"Well... of course ... of course?"
"Thanks!"
"Well Hyo. Hyo if I could talk about something? "
"Well, let's say ... all will remain the same even though we are not couple lover again. But my time will be there for you. I still watch all of you! "
"We should not have to end like this, and there should not be saying goodbye as we do today. I mean we have though prison is much related. I promise I will not bother you if you do not call. "
"D .... I'm sorry; I do not bus to get this agreement. So please do not have this relationship we're talking again. I'm glad and very thankful you were willing to accompany me bahawa vacation. D Believe me, I love you and I do not regret anything about this holiday. You understand what I mean? "
"Well it was very obvious what you mean! Thanks"
I looked at her pale face, his hands shaking so cold. Reddened eyes ... very red, her heart pounding. Her skin was as cold as ice. I know what makes it so. Probably my last sentence was whipping her self-esteem. "I'm sorry D" I whispered softly. "I know, do not worry, I understand. I cried because my emotions can not help it. And my tears are no longer able to handle had been ". I still hear the description. "Thank you gift fatherly". I just smiled and nodded and stroked his face. "I hope you want to open it until after on Surabaya later! ". She too nodded obediently. "What do you mash a headache?" I asked. "no, can not make wine drunk". We cast a smiling "thank God, I do not have to carry you a long time". We laughed out loud, just cornered his left elbow into my stomach. I helped her up, and carried
That night, we both walk up to the hotel room. Luckily, the bellhop did not drive away our already ragged as beggars. We walked hand in hand toward the elevator door. There we were back in the silence; I could only watched from behind a nest full of hair falling grains of sand. Too silence, until we can hear each other snoring breath. Now her next "clearing of my thourt. Like lost my voice! "He explained casually to see me.”You're tired, you're drunk!" I said. Now he only went ahead after the elevator doors open. We then went to my room cleaned up. There was no singing in the shower as usual injunction is often heard. There are no shouts sentences for me. Only the sound of gurgling water shower that caught clear. Since there was no activity other than listening to the water, so I tidied all my stuff including clothes, laptop, charger, my journal, and some of the dictates of a very rare I read. Actually I wanted to tidy up her make-up equipment. Only, I do not know where the objects are still needed to paint her face. And a half later he came out of a full bathroom with her pajamas. "Take a bath, your body dirty! So smelling!" Sounded cool. Her attention to objects around me. I don’t know what she's thinking at this time. Her eyes shone clear sign of objection. "Jana, how we are to the airport tomorrow?" She asked as she saw me in a flat voice push the remote TV-style remote hands on her hips. Her hair was wet, combed her wet hair towel was then wrapped with ice cream cone shape. "Four o'clock. At two we check out directly to the airport. God willing, before six o'clock I have to take you home ". she did not seem to listen to my words. This heavy for me. I do not like it when he ignored me. Because of all this he never did that. Well ... I know why. Her eyes stared straight flat screen display TV’s. Her world seemed to have closed for me. I no longer wish to ignore. I also accept his advice to take a shower. Two hours later, the silence was little changed, he ordered fruit punch sized water jug, I dant know what she wants. She too prepares the rest of the Sacker cake which I bought yesterday. And there is a large white candle she put out her lamp light up. He has created so fast, coffee table in such a way to make it look pretty, though the dawn has not appeared, the sky began to look reddish orange. Azan dawn has not heard me. The table was beautifully decorated with though simple; there are two more small plates with a razor blade and fork. Each contains a piece of sacker cake with pieces strawberry, created. Middle of the table stood a crystal vase that she was dressing, full of roses yesterday my gift. Couple with candlelight. Then a box of small magnetic chess drawn up and ready to play both. As I looked at doubt ness forehead, he too looked at me again, and then looked up towards the seat to grab my hand to him. "Dinner?" I guest, but it almost was not because it was going in the morning. "This is not supper! Do you mind? "May I ask inquisitive with a threatening tone" or do you want... ". Bum rush him suspect. I do not like it; he should be able to read my eyes. "Not, I like. Really like! "I said.”Thanks! Because I thought you no longer wanted to eat together. Maybe you need a specialized learning fatherly away from me or training or whatever it's called! "She explained. The voice was fierce. I hurried to sit down in front of her. "We could be friends!" I asked over and over again "... well friend ". Now her hands were busy pouring the fruit punch fill in each goblet. "Well! Of course, initially we are also friends and at any time until we can be friends any way and in any condition! "Knot carved a smile, and before I could say something" broken thread can not be spliced! "Mouth-was locked up tight. I do not understand what he meant. But clearly I do not want to ask him about what he meant in his mind until the words came out like that. I think the show that night supper instead of dinner our last time. Without chatter romantic, and just talking about a picture of life which we will live each. I feel after it all began to feel light and not heavy. This time I will already be willing to let go of my hand. We started well again open fatherly chat. In fact we were playing chess to two sessions until morning. My mind was no longer upset like last night, so did she? At least that's what caught my eye. At breakfast we also are able to sittings sit by side together, although no one dared to hold hands. Just looked at each other, and each tasted a little chat our menu, respectively. No more concrete explanation with a smile and sit quietly without crying or debate, like bad anger feelings between us. My little heart still keeps a sense of her, although the actually I still feel that she still loved me. Her eyes have not changed, the accent is still calling my name-Hyo. At least I'm happy about it. That's what happened between us until we flew back to Surabaya.
Arriving at Heathrow airport, we hugged each other tightly. Her body was no longer shivering. No more tears melted. I'm glad she's starting strong. I'm happy that even today we still be friends as before. We walked hand in hand to bring us each trolley headed to the taxi, respectively. At first I wanted to take her home. Only he would not let me do that. So I reluctantly accepted it. Even she did not allow me to kiss her forehead just a little bit. Taxi driver helped us put our trolley, respectively. Then we get into the car ahead. Her smile was gone now, although I preceded him to smile. Insistence that smile disappeared for me. His legs kept walking towards his taxi. And I will still follow the shadow. I opened the taxi door for her. When she is entered the door "yes thanks to me first!" she said quietly, barely audible by the ears. I nodded "I can drop off and pick you up tomorrow a new office?" I asked, curious. she was silent for several seconds, until the heavy tones out "should not, please at eight o'clock you'd be right up my house". No longer saw him close the taxi door quietly. I just nod from the outside glass. My turn to get into a taxi drove the wheels to keep me back to my house, we walked consecutive taxi out of the area and then we parted he airport expressway borders. Choose a taxi driver crosses a public road, while my driver chose to bypass toll road facilities. I don’t know whether he deliberately so as not to follow me. Whatever it is is not a problem for me. And certainly I and he is now just friends. I opened my journal again, last I read one page. Then I write a new page
Surabaya, January 1, 2003
Ya… grateful thank God and thank God for you always I keep pray. You let me know more, I'll admit I still love her, and for sure I will always miss her. Along the way she always makes me smile. She's like the sun that can illuminate my world. Someday In my life, I would expect his presence. I'm happy, get to know him even though I need the process to step forward. I'll need it someday; someday I'll be back after him with my confidence. I will always set my heart for him, and not shifted from the coordinates. My blood is full of ways to love her, my mind will always be full to her happy, will never be tired to calling her name. In fact, my soul would die for her, I was ready for waiting. Of heart I will always pray for her
for my D
you are my December is the best ever after
Taxi drove me tight, I closed this sheet, relieved smile on his face reflected from the reflection. Our vacation experience is extraordinary. Arriving at home destitute greeted with delight. And ready to hear my story. But unfortunately I was reluctant to share with them. Although Dad followed me up into the room. I still did not respond. Until she realizes that I’m getting bored. Dad just told me he was ready at any time to hear our experiences.
To the next day I picked her up going to her new office. She took me into a mobile showroom a famous in her time. Its brand worldwide, Nokia's new office. "Cool!" Just out of my mouth, full of spontaneity "you're too pretty; with brown coat makes you look simple and smart! Lunch hour I'll pick you? "This time I did not help him open the car door. She had already been opened. "Thanks, you do not want to go?" She asked kindly. "Later, at lunch? I'll take you back later ". And nodded, and then waved his left hand. I’ll drive slowly from the car parking area. I’ll drive around the streets of the city, let alone my mind goes, there's no place like I went up. Even I had twice passed Gempol toll road and then back again in the direction of Surabaya. Maybe, because I'm confused. I stopped at the flower market, bought a small bouquet of white roses mixed with red. Deliberately chosen scarlet ribbon without greeting cards, as they are slipped in between them. Right at one o'clock, I went back. After I parked the car in the correct place I will rush me into a room full of people who are queuing to buy or repair fatherly product phones with the same brand. I looked around the room and I watched carefully from the visitors, showcase, brochure, banner promo to customer service is on duty. Well right end of the building I found, was sit sweet, rigid style, dress neatly and as serious as that in the future customer. The entire gallery on display so completely. Starting from the latest collection to the longest product. Deliberately chosen an empty bench, a distance not too far from her field of vision. When he was aware of my arrival, he too smiled at me and then looked at the flowers that I brought for her, she’s mouth to say something. Wait a minute, after her lips utter it so. All around many people who smiled at me, I don’t know why. But maybe it's because I brought these flowers. There was a young lady’s glanced at me, and then look for where first looking toward my eyes stuck. And after he realized, her smiled and turned toward the young man that is next to them. Still confused and I don’t know what she whispered, I did not hear it. I just smiled back at her figure caught was watching. Half an hour passed he too had completed its work. We also enjoyed lunch soon at a junk food restaurant in the same place where once the first time I took her lunch. Nothing intense like before when us meeting to day. All seemed normal, like old friends who just met. Obviously a bit awkward. I also promised to meet him at the office before I left Indonesia.
Today is my last set foot in this city, last night I could barely sleep. Still thinking about it. Today I am busy preparing the entire luggage; I just take the time to call her fatherly moment. Releasing her longing. It felt like laughing alone. How could I not, yet I left, but it missed. These feelings should I press in such a way, however I have to hold all its forms. After all is ready, I will took me to see my family just to say goodbye. Very hard to leave it all, but I have to. I do not want to hurt myself. As long as there is an opportunity would be after. Now and this minute I remove my love to him as much as possible, I do not want to hardcore anymore. It is still debated and quite volatile in the liver. But I'm sure, next time I'll get over it.
Proper lunch, I took time to visit dating back then took her to lunch. But this time, I did not visit his office. I promised to meet in a record store that was next to his office exactly. Well that's where we met. I sent the message twice already, half an hour to wait before she could see me. "Sorry, its customers too much, and I'm a little uncomfortable having to rest early" stands as the person being asked for the forgiveness of sins. I pulled her hand away and kissed and hugged tightly close "D I'll miss you, always" came back the blue chest tightness difficulty breathing. My body shivered as she said it tastes like. Only two white roses I give a burgundy-colored rope. She's just quiet in my arms, with tears. Fortunately no one ever looks at theatrical around us. Until I decided to take her away to nice park fatherly town near the museum. There, we chatted a bit, and emotional release. This is where I realized fully. That I still love her. Still hurt to see him I took off just like that. "I still love you hyo! You still my first love" her tears fell in my ears, a small box of beautifully wrapped box with a blue cover, it provides for me. She did not say what was in it. But clearly it would be very valuable for me. "Excuse me; I can not take you to the airport!" she said. I smiled and hugged back. I almost do not care even if policemen watching us, even a small percentage of people who whisper about relax our garden. It's not their business, and it's also not my concern. "No big deal if you couldn’t take me, I know you're a new employee who is subject to company rules, without being able to ...". She said just like that without looking at me "is not the case, that problem is difficult for me ... will definitely have to control my emotions when I see you left me two more times to the same place and same airport the terminal?" Description is increasingly, make me congested. "I hope that I can give to make you comfortable, and can you function there. I would love if you like it! ". His head looked down at the grass under her feet. "Sure!" I said quickly. "You do not have to take me, seems to have reached your Volvo and parked there?" She pointed a black car, the driver is ready doing not know. But clearly it is indeed my car. "Taxi in front of the already ordered, so you should not take me" and now standing in front of me and bow before me exactly to kiss me. I sat quietly and without any particular expression. Below freezing although the suns rise. "You be careful!" My messages “do not forget our December, because I have absolutely no one will ever forget even just a second, happened, because I was living with that memory". She smiled and watched me kiss me again. "Well," she said, is directed backward step foot wave came and ran a small taxi. I wanted to impede his footsteps, but I do not want to extend it another day. I leave it alone left me. Oh god what have I done with a girl like her? What? Selfish! I cried silently clenched his fists. I sprinted to catch up, then hinder from her into the taxi. Turn her away without a balance, I kissed her. Well it turns out I can still is warm. She too just to let my kisses landed with a well done. That I want. I crushed her lips, kissed his forehead fatherly moment "I'm done!" I replied. "I know!" She said with a smile and carries away the flowers that I have given. Full deeper meaning flowers eternal friendship without limits. Now she goes with her taxi. I know, she's definitely crying, hat eyes must be red. What will he say when his friends ask him about it. I do not know did not know I do not know and I do not have the answer. I'm still sitting pensively this garden with Yogi. He did not say much, just wait me with boredom. That's why his ears covered by the play list is a music headset. I was silent for a long time without chat. I'm confused by this. "Drink first, so you get oxygen!" She gave a bottle of water when oxygen is still sealed. Without saying anything, I opened the bottle and seal well spent without leaving a even only one drop. Five minutes I passed asked her out. "Take me now". he nodded and immediately driving my Volvo as tight as possible. I did not even yell when he drove zig zag manner. Had died I'm ready.
Forty-eight hours later I arrived at Juanda, yogi takes me while helping to bring some of my stuff without the help of trolley. "I'll miss you!" He said, trying to solve my musings. "I definitely miss you!" I said. I hugged she closely and I tapped his shoulder pat. I kissed her cheek. He's the most wonderful brother, even though I hated her mother. But I love my son who is now my half brother. I waved my hand from a distance, stepping reluctantly leave Surabaya. Leave it all, I'm very sad to leave. The separation this time is very painful for me. I’m very dislike the previous separation. Know the last two. This time it all feels forced and should I force, hopefully I'm not one step. My first flight was re-visit the Soekarno-Hatta airport to Tokyo
Tags
short story